Why are some people so mean?

[DC_DEEP]

Wally, don't let 'em make you cry! If you do, then they have succeeded. Don't give them that much control over you. I know that's easier advice to give than to practice, but it's essential for your mental well-being.

It is not your fault that so many people exhibit sociopathic behavior, and there really is no other way to describe some of these people. They are sociopaths. They are incapable of making the "other people have feelings, just as I have feelings" connection. That, coupled with the fact that they are just miserable people, in general, leads them to believe that their behavior is justified.

Plus, I'm guessing that many of them reason that it's easier, and they are more likely to get away with it, if they kick you instead of kicking the dog when they get home, or beating their children.

I know it's not in your nature, but if that woman had said to me, "get out of my way, faggot" I almost certainly would have replied "no thanks, I don't take orders from nasty dog-fucking whores."

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I think snoozan nailed it on the head, a lot of people are mean because they're miserable and in pain and they don't know how to deal with it apart from trying to pass their pain on to others. If someone's mean I always try to remember I don't know what's going on in their lives, they could be dealing with a shitload of difficulties that make them unpleasant. This doesn't excuse their behaviour but it does make it a little easier to understand-they're socially inadequate and instead of coping with their problems in a good way the only way for them to cope is to try to vent their anger and hurt on other people.

 

[D_Garmanswait Glassnads]

I'm quite lucky, the most shit I get comes from myself. I feel like i'm shitty with people, I know it's not always the case and people understand the way I am more and more. Some people like me are mean but don't intend to be.

For example the other day my 'best' friend was talking about how some kid joined magnum photography an how she wants to do it but hasn't got a clue how. I was like 'you should be passionate about it and keep improving the way you are' She replied 'OKOKOKOKOKOK, I will be as soon as I've finish my course' She said it like I was getting on at her so I said 'you don't need to tell me' meaning that you do it for yourself not for me. She did the bitchy thing and was like 'I know I don't need to tell you but you're my FRIEND and that's what friends do' I get so angry and blunt with people just because they don't act like robots like me.

 

[Xochil~]

Just wanted to encourage you to live ur life with compassion for the "assholes" that do exist. It matters to all US that one gets HURT in the process of just being HUMAN. I send you hugs, love and courage for your daily mantra! Do not give up on the fact that many of us do proceed in peace with joy in our hearts' for our fellow beings! Namaste my brother!

 

[B_andyo]

<life>

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I believe that people are mean because of September 11 and the aftermath of it all. This war. The economy is weird. Life as we know it in America will NOT be the same for awhile.

Oh, people outside the States can be just like this as well - I'd love to blame socio-political factors too, but some people are just assholes...

This is what I do when I am having a rough time I will rent some REALLY funny movies. Pure comedies. Get some old cartoons you watched as a kid. Buy something humorous. Laughter is the best medicine.

Good advice

*gets out some hot coco and cookies*

Oooo, ooo, me, me!!

Wally - in danger of repeating what everyone else has said - they are the assholes, you are the good guy. When people do this to me I just blow them a kiss and say 'love you too'. (well, 'je t'aime aussi' these days). To quote my dear old gran "Don't let the bastards get you down!"

 

[Mr. Snakey]

One more thing Wally. You know i love ya! Elmo is cool i know. Curious George is the joint. Im going to send you some pics of him.:smile: :wink:

 

[Principessa]

Wally! This is the main talking points of a group who have no respect for human life to begin with. Their lack of social skills is the crux of their anger. One look at a recent thread in which they hope death for someone who was about to have surgery says it all. So instead of being mad we must be more understanding and pity them. A true Heathen cant even see his own light. They are the mirror blind. So they live in fear. To look up and not see the sky must be the worst thing and we cant even imagine. Their sky is made of glass and just beams their sad life back down to them............

So true, and well said. You are wise beyond your years Danny.

i really wish everyone could be as nice as you guys are to me Same here Wally....

easier said than done lol :biggrin1:

So much of life is easier said than done lately, at least for me.

I just want to give you a big hug after reading that. Me Too! I don't know why people are so shitty, and I don't even think it's worth trying to figure out most of the time. Just comfort yourself knowing that you're not a nasty, mean person.

The other thing to think about is that many of people that are acting like assholes are acting out because of some deep pain they feel-- and if you look at them as people that are hurting and can't get it out in a productive way, it may make you feel better about it. How awful must it be to feel so badly that you're cruel to people you don't even know? And sometimes, some people are just plain assholes and that's their problem, not yours. Take care, Susan

Our dear Snoozan whom I am so glad to have back in our LPSG family after a brief respite is correct. When I feel that kind of deep inner pain I retreat into myself. It would never occur to me to take it out on someone else, least of all a complete stranger.

Just Remember:

Wally darling, no matter where you live,
no matter what you do,
no matter who you love,
I will be your friend.

:kiss:

Ok there is one thing...if you ever vote republican in a presidential election I may not talk to you for a while.​

 

[naughty]

So true, and well said. You are wise beyond your years Danny.

So much of life is easier said than done lately, at least for me.

Our dear Snoozan whom I am so glad to have back in our LPSG family after a brief respite is correct. When I feel that kind of deep inner pain I retreat into myself. It would never occur to me to take it out on someone else, least of all a complete stranger.

Just Remember:

Wally darling, no matter where you live,
no matter what you do,
no matter who you love,
I will be your friend. ​

:kiss:​

Ok there is one thing...if you ever vote republican in a presidential election I may not talk to you for a while.​

Miss NJQT I want to hug you for those loving words to Wally. I do so hope you feel better in the very near future and best of luck to you as well.

 

[biguy2738]

My dear friend,

My heart really aches for you right now. People have no idea just what power they wield with their words.

You havetwo choices when dealing with people like that:

1) You can allow them to trample all over you
2) You can tip me off and I'll hunt them down and kill them!
:wizard:

On a serious note, the only thing that I can add to the wellspring of wisdom, love and support offered by the others is that there is a huge difference between fact and opinion.

Regardless of who the person is and what they say about you, they are only able to express their own opinions and inner realities. If she were to call you a pig, would you have automatically turned into an animal with a snout and start to oink? Hell no!

By calling you a faggot, she was telling you more about herself than about how she perceives you to be. The way that she demanded that you move points towards her lack of class and politeness. Her calling you a faggot is a sign of her narrowmindedness and prejudiced nature. When you start looking at her like that, does her opinion really matter that much to you? Should it matter?

My advice to you is to know yourself as best as you can. Embrace yourself in all entirety - good points and bad because they all make you into who you are - which judging from the posts is too shabby. By embracing yourself, it doesn't mean that you aren't in need of growth or improvement, but a simple acknowledgement that you are the best you that you can be in this moment. I assure you, once you reach that place, whenever people say things about you or to you, you will be able to seperate the truth from the cow dung, and without being hurt be able to tell yourself, "It's your loss, not mine!"

Hold your head high, my dear friend, you have much to be proud of!

 

[invisibleman]

By calling you a faggot, she was telling you more about herself than about how she perceives you to be. The way that she demanded that you move points towards her lack of class and politeness. Her calling you a faggot is a sign of her narrowmindedness and prejudiced nature. When you start looking at her like that, does her opinion really matter that much to you? Should it matter?

Wallace--

I think that (the disgruntled beyotch) she had a boyfriend or hubby that left her for another man and in her frustration took it out on you. Or she had a serious crush on you and you didn't respond in the way she felt that you should respond and she got all Ann Coulter.

(Ann Coulter is a jaded bisexual. I don't hear her calling Barack Obama a faggot. I don't hear her calling James Earl Jones a faggot. I don't hear her calling Jesse Jackson a faggot. I don't hear her calling Reverend Al Sharpton a faggot. I don't EVEN hear her calling Michael Jackson a faggot. I think it would be interesting to hear her get brave and call some black politicos faggots. Her bony ass would be chopped, washed, well seasoned, marinated in buttermilk and eggs, dredged in flour and deep fat fried. Thirty minutes later, we'd all eating some fried chicken and "Lovin' it!!" like McDonald's.)

 

[Ethyl]

Fear is what makes others mean. Fear of not getting what they want from others, be it love or anything else. They lash out at others to distance themselves and seek protection from experiencing emotional pain.

Wally, you've done exactly the opposite with us by opening up and being as sweet and honest as you know how. Don't let the nastiness set you back. Please know we appreciate you and all the wonderful qualities you bring to this forum. :smile:

 

[B_spiker067]

Fear is what makes others mean. Fear of not getting what they want from others, be it love or anything else. They lash out at others to distance themselves and seek protection from experiencing emotional pain.

Wally, you've done exactly the opposite with us by opening up and being as sweet and honest as you know how. Don't let the nastiness set you back. Please know we appreciate you and all the wonderful qualities you bring to this forum. :smile:

Merc, have you ever been mean for fear of not getting the love you want?

 

[DaveyR]

Wally I'm sending you a hug too.

I'm more natured like DC Deep and would have said something similar to what he quoted. That however is not your nature and you would probably feel really bad about yourself if you were to try that. When you encounter these people why not try telling yourself just how lucky you are to be YOU and that you are bleseed to be like you are. :smile: You should pity these people as they are sad and have unfulfilled lives.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Wally I'm sending you a hug too.

I'm more natured like DC Deep and would have said something similar to what he quoted. That however is not your nature and you would probably feel really bad about yourself if you were to try that. When you encounter these people why not try telling yourself just how lucky you are to be YOU and that you are bleseed to be like you are. :smile: You should pity these people as they are sad and have unfulfilled lives.

I would not have been that bold a few years back, but now I'm more of a philosophy of "NEVER start a fight, but always finish one." I would not dream of making a nasty comment, out of the blue, toward a stranger. But if she wanted to start an ugly dialog, I would be willing to see if she "takes as good as she gives."

 

[DaveyR]

I would not have been that bold a few years back, but now I'm more of a philosophy of "NEVER start a fight, but always finish one." I would not dream of making a nasty comment, out of the blue, toward a stranger. But if she wanted to start an ugly dialog, I would be willing to see if she "takes as good as she gives."

That is exactly my philosophy too DC. I would never start it but I won't be walked on neither. Wally may feel differently in a few years but reading between the lines right now I think he would bash himself afterwards if he were to try it now.

 

[Ethyl]

Merc, have you ever been mean for fear of not getting the love you want?

I have been irritable, sad, angry, and yes, mean, but probably without intention. Expectations of others have a way of doing that to you. When you let go of your expectations of others, you allow yourself to experience others as they really are, not as you want them to be.

 

[witch]

Sorry to hear this happened

Some of this type of viciousness I find is a “pecking order” thing....someone bigger and meaner yanked the jerk’s chain and they feel the need to pass it along.

send the bitch over to me..... I have a nasty temper and am not afraid to use it.

 

[B_spiker067]

I have been irritable, sad, angry, and yes, mean, but probably without intention. Expectations of others have a way of doing that to you. When you let go of your expectations of others, you allow yourself to experience others as they really are, not as you want them to be.

Something to think about I guess.

I just asked because your last few sig.'s seem to have been saying something and yet leaving it unsaid. What did you have before this last one? I can't remember I'm just intuiting a remembered theme, kind of, in hindsight almost.

 

[nakedwally]

i say sometimes SHIT HAPPENS