some women are driven by security issues :smile:
is always loverly when 1950 comes to visit.
Human biology and evolution is not undone in a generation or two. Nor does it alter because of a change in what constitutes fashionable thinking.
I don't care what you "believe" drives you...
There is a fundamental difference between male conduct and female conduct in terms of the things they seek.
men are driven by issues of desire.
and women by issues of security.
The only thing that changes from woman to woman or man to man, are the specifics of how they personally interpret or weigh the elements that factor into these basic drives.
For some women, security is a big strong, aggressive man.
For others, its a career and the knowledge that they can take care of themselves...
Some women want to feel physically secure, others, emotionally secure, and others, financially secure... and almost all of them have some measure of all three, in differing proportions.
Seeing a woman's choices, tells you a lot about her if you understand how those choices reveal her sense of what makes her feel secure.
( same for men and desire- do they want to feel desired by women? do they want to indulge their desire for women? do they have some other desire that is the center of their lives? The desire to best other men? Do they desire power? To risk everything? ) The thing that differentiates desire from security, is that security is practical... whereas desire does not have to have any ultimate aim... A desire for wealth is not necessarily about security... nor about the exercise of power... it can be just about acquisition for the sake of acquisition. Understanding this about men gives you means for unpacking their intentions from their actions and reveals their deeper nature.
A man that desires to feel desirable will be more likely to be a womanizer, whereas a man who's desire is to be seen as a good man, will be less likely to cheat.
Male motivations are generally less complex, and less cerebral than women's.
Security is a far more nuanced concept, and requires more thinking.
This is not to say that women do not have desires to contend with... it is to say that security outweighs desire as a driving force of their psyche.
So, women who see security in a stable relationship will tend to choose a husband based upon attributes Other than his raw physical desirability.
His career potential... his parent potential... how he cares for her... all things pertaining to security in the sense of a family unit.
Again- not to say that if all these things are present in a hunk that she won't count herself lucky...
But men, for example, will tend to pay a lot less attention to any of these factors in a potential mate.... its not that they are not aware of a woman's career objectives, or potential for motherhood... its that they will disregard shortcoming in these areas in the face of other attributes that pertain to desire.
You can pooh pooh it, and imagine yourself immune... but the answers to this ver thread bear out this observation. The women who prefer a man to drive have security issues driving their explanations. Those who prefer to drive themselves have stories that seem to tell of liking to be in control themselves... which has to do with high self confidence, and or, mistrust of other's competence... which is, again, redounds to their sense of security.
