Dudes who want me to drive are just not sexy. After that one dude, I think of all the rest of you who want to get out of driving as weaklings. Maybe you aren't, but you won't get any sexual contact from me. I'm drying up just thinking about it. Not kidding.
Some related facts: I don't see that well at night. I see halos and star-bursts. I drive like a speed demon, and feel more likely to get pulled over for it at night. But the primary reason is, if we are going to be someplace together, and it makes sense to carpool, I want you to drive because if you aren't chivalrous, why the fuck am I spending time with you?