Why are there so many lonely people in the world?

lorne

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Good points, but I don't think that "being in a relationship" has much to do with being lonely or not.

One can be in a wonderful relationship and STILL be lonely. I don't expect anyone to agree with me, but I think it's unreasonable and unfair to expect a partner to "fill up" all your chinks and holes. What a dreadful burden to place upon another human being!

Most people have MANY sides to themselves. That's what make people unique.

In any case, I think "loneliness" is on the decline because the Internet makes it easier to find people with similar interests and quirks.


the saying you don't have to be alone to be lonely comes to mind, the ideas that everyone everyone dies alone is pretty much hand in hand with that. We all are alone, your thoughts are your own and the majority of your life likely is spent isolated even when surrounded by poeple, look at the cubicle. You can connect with people and have common interests and thoughts, which can distract you from loneliness but humans arn't a herding animal. We are closer to pack animals. We live in collections and groups but venture out on our own and enjoy solitary moments, I we were meant to be complete connected we'd share some form of telepathy or a universal mind maybe like a hive. being lonely is part of being unique and the human race loves to stand out from each other like most animals in nature. I figure its all linked back to mating.
 

ZOS23xy

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Because people don't know how to communicate and other people won't listen.

Frankly, having a hearing loss made me more receptive to people. I spent as much time talking to people as I listened, and it helped.

I still run into people who are insulated from common sense when it comes to talking, interupting a line of thought to make a joke before the end of a statement, and wondering why the talk doesn't go further. When you deliver mixed signals, you get them back.

There are people who are so immersed in their misery and won't consider alternatives.

Etc.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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Because people don't love themselves, and they aren't happy with themselves.

Agreed, for the most part.

But want to add that an issue with gaining self-love are the ridiculous, almost unattainable standards of career success, material worth, and beauty, that push some people to think they are not deserving of love or good relationships, which leads to loneliness. These people just have to get over any feeling of inadequacy to realize every person is flawed and they are worthy of love (especially their own).

Others, as Rob wrote, think that they only deserve someone, and it will literally be one of a few people, that has the perfect... career, look, wealth, etc. If they're fortunate, they find that person. If not, they'll always be searching and never satisfied.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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Because people don't know how to communicate and other people won't listen.

Frankly, having a hearing loss made me more receptive to people. I spent as much time talking to people as I listened, and it helped.

I still run into people who are insulated from common sense when it comes to talking, interupting a line of thought to make a joke before the end of a statement, and wondering why the talk doesn't go further. When you deliver mixed signals, you get them back.

There are people who are so immersed in their misery and won't consider alternatives.

Etc.
Good point!
 

BigDuder

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hotmilf died in the church and was buried along with her name. nobody came.

big duder, wiping the dirt from his hands as he walked from her grave. no one was saved.
 

Principessa

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The thing is you can be incredibly lonely surrounded by many many people.
I think it is epidemic especially among teens and elderly people especially here in the land of wealth. Does our societal structure and the way we live unintentionally cut off certain people from the flow of life? Yes and no, bad answer but with all the technological innovations such as cell phones, Blackberrys, ande-mail you can be in constant contact with pretty much anybody. Or do people choose to be lonely? Some people do choose to be lonely. Viking1 comes to mind. Though a nice guy, he doesn't believe it, so other than work he isolates himself. Then there are the curmudgeons among us. They take pride in running people off with their gruff rudeness.

When a society judges worth in terms of usefulness, this is bound to happen. Children and Older people generally are on the taking end of the scale. Those in their prime are producing. Even among those who are producing everyone has his or her grocery list and when someone has a quirk or two it tends to ex them out of the running. Yup! We live with the Im ok but you better be damn near perfect mentality out here. So why is anyone surprised?
You are so right! :lmao: That is the sad truth.

Good points, but I don't think that "being in a relationship" has much to do with being lonely or not.
One can be in a wonderful relationship and STILL be lonely. True, but thats the fault of the people involved. Though neither of them ever realize it.:rolleyes::tongue: I don't expect anyone to agree with me, but I think it's unreasonable and unfair to expect a partner to "fill up" all your chinks and holes. What a dreadful burden to place upon another human being! Most people have MANY sides to themselves. That's what makes people unique. In any case, I think "loneliness" is on the decline because the Internet makes it easier to find people with similar interests and quirks. Ahh, I was with you on this one Hotmilf until that last sentence. The internet encourages solitude. You can live your life online without ever having to deal with another living being. It is entirely possible to work from home and telecommute, place grocery, clothing, and individual meal orders online and delivered. The only human you ever need see is your delivery person or UPS guy. :tongue:

Great Points. I think also that people often idealize the coupled state when they themselves are not a part of it at the time. Both being alone and being with others have their benefits and drawbacks. True. There are some seasons of one's life where circumstance has made it so that one is too busy to focus the needed attention on a personal relationship that it deserves. So it is best to fill one's life with wholesome activities and find opportunities to enjoy people and things that are not necessarily romantic. If you dont have your family with you make family of others. True, I have done this at various times in my life; but when the deal goes down and night falls, I'm still alone. :redface: I know I am not speaking for everyone. There are those who are shut in or unable in other ways to reach out but for many of us we still do have that ability.
Interesting. What place do useless people have in any society? I take it you mean "useful" in the broadest of terms here. I gather not all useless people are lonely though, perhaps they just developed or were taught the social skills to find and keep friendships.
Perhaps knowing people has become more of a bother than good thing in our day in age and it is just easier being alone despite the anguish.

What do you mean by people in their prime who are "producing"? I can't speak for her but I took her to mean those who are working and are a valuable productive members of society. Senior citizens and children enrich and add joy to the lives of their family and friends; but rarely are they tax paying citizens in the way that a 35 year old fireman, sanitation worker or nurse are.
 

sjprep06

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I don't think I chose to be alone and I am good at keeping myself entertained but I want more. I've had to do that since I was a child because I had no one else in my family or neighborhood to connect to. But now, it seems like even though I want to meet other people and expand, no one is interested (or finds me interesting). Essentially it feels like I run around in a circle until I just give up and start feeling lonely again. Then that bores me and I start trying to meet people again, etc...
 

Mr. Snakey

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Looking, but never finding. Either in myself or someone else. I cannot find a heart...:sad:
I didn't say it was easy to find a heart. It's not. That's why there are so many lonely people. You have a heart. You must feel your own heart and have it open before you can beat in Sync with another. The Spark must be in your heart before seek a Permanent flame in another heart. I think our world and society in general has grown so complex and cold i fear many people may never find someone.
 

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Principessa

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Why do you think I said that? I don't love myself. I'm not sure I ever have. Neither do I know what to do about it...

GET THERAPY!
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy!
You know what to do, you just don't want to do it.:mad: Let me guess . . .you fear, "What if I do all the right stuff and I'm still alone and no one likes me?" Sometimes that happens but you will never know until you try.