Why Are We So Fragile?

[deleted808122]

If my ass is a little flat, or by belly pudgy, or cock "cute", anyone making note of that is taken as a hurtful bastard.

If someone asks "does this * make me look fat", and it (or their body makeup) does, we need to find a kind way of expressing that unless we simply lie. WTF?

Have we as a society fucked with our self image to the point where honesty, even when requested, is so challenging?

 

[LaFemme]

I must be one hurtful bastard!

I think it’s possible to be kind when doling out honesty. If a friend asks if her dress makes her look fat, I might say “I’ve seen better on you”, or “it doesn’t make the most of what you have”. Fat? I doubt I’d ever say that to someone. Why? It can’t be changed in the moment, and most people know when they’re overweight. My pointing it out isn’t going to do anything but be hurtful.

Personally, I try to choose kindness and try to uplift people - especially the ones I care about. Is it because people are fragile? Maybe some are, but pretty much everyone deserves kind truths, not pointless criticism.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Honestly, the “does this make me look fat?” question is equal parts request for reassurance and searching for conformation. Likely she (or he) knows there’s something off with a garment if they are asking.
Some people seem to need external validation. (I mean, LPSG, hello)
They lack, of hid, or had taken from them, a sense of self worth.
Others have self worth but know they dress as if in the dark. Or are so sensitive about something external, that they need reassurance.
I think we default as a society to reassuring.


I’ve a buddy who is to tell me if I start dressing like a stereotypical old lady. It’s fine to be an old hippie lady, but I cannot look like anyone from what we call the harem, a group of women who are stalwart fans of my sweetie. I’m a decade younger than the next older one, we guess. Some could be well weathered but younger.
This means I have to be careful with mixing my hiker chic and hippie clothing. Because we are all in the same fashion time warp and local look. We have a style. Basically, we all look like John Denver circa 1975. With skirts.
Contemplate that.

So, I have back up for when comfortable overrides sense.

I don’t ask anyone else their opinion on my clothing. I will ask Sweetie if he thinks I’m dressed up enough for something to which he’s escorting me. This is dress code, not style.