I was afraid for most of my life. My husband and I are both tops (31 years now) and when we met during the worst of AIDS in the 1980's we had lost so many friends that thinking about fucking was really scary. After a couple of years, I tried bottoming for him but I was way too tight. He's now quite disabled and our last physical intimacy was at least 20 years ago.
I never fucked anyone until I was 60-- just BJs and mutual masturbation before. I now have a steady FB, who is the hottest man I've ever been with, and so far it's only been me topping him. He says I'm very, very good at it, but I want to bottom for him! I've been playing with a few toys for practice, and he's the kindest most gentle hunk imaginable (getting a graduate nursing degree at age 40). He's the one, I just need a few more weeks of practice!