Why can't I cum while having sex?

not_hesoberz

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I'm 19 years old, bottom, and for me it's really easy to cum while jerking off, but everytime I have sex I feel like it's impossible for me to cum, no matter how hot the sex is or how much I stroke my dick. The tops always cum and sometimes I feel like they have a feeling I wasn't enjoying because of that. Is something wrong with me?
 

rockhardbttm

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Possibility.... you're not used to getting fucked and cumming at the same time. It's a different kind of feeling.

Practice jerking off with something inside you. Start with a butt plug, which is static, then move to a dildo. Get a suction cup dildo so you can practice riding or attach to a wall and practice thrusting. That might help! Once you can achieve cumming that way a real dick will be easier.
 
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not_hesoberz

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Possibility.... you're not used to getting fucked and cumming at the same time. It's a different kind of feeling.

Practice jerking off with something inside you. Start with a butt plug, which is static, then move to a dildo. Get a suction cup dildo so you can practice riding or attach to a wall and practice thrusting. That might help! Once you can achieve cumming that way a real dick will be easier.
Thanks! I will try that.
 

playklax01

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I'm like you too, it takes me forever to cum when having sex but jerking off I can finish in 2 seconds. I think it's either just biology, or that your body is so used to cumming when jerking off that anything different will throw it off. I haven't figured out exactly what it is... Most guys have the opposite problem where they're too quick and fire off in a minute.

I tell people ahead of time that I take a while and to not take it personally. I'm enjoying every moment of it! Puts your mind and their mind at ease.
 
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Andrej_u

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I'm 19 years old, bottom, and for me it's really easy to cum while jerking off, but everytime I have sex I feel like it's impossible for me to cum, no matter how hot the sex is or how much I stroke my dick. The tops always cum and sometimes I feel like they have a feeling I wasn't enjoying because of that. Is something wrong with me?
Screw them!!

Do you enjoy the sex even if you don't cum, when you are getting fucked? Are you satisfied afterwards?
That is the only thing that matters. You don't owe your orgasm to anyone. If they think you didn't enjoy it because of it, It's their problem, not yours. It is a bit condescending for them to decide for you and not believe you.

Now, of course a top might like seeing you cum, and he might be turned on by it. But well, we can't have everything, right?
I am a top, and sometimes I had some amazing sex where I did not cum. The bottom did, I did not, because I didn't feel like it. It was amazing sex and the bottom was self-confident and smart enough to understand that I loved it. You just have to find a top who understands this too :)
 

Brodie888

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If you are jerking off and can't cum during anal, it's often because you are in your own head over thinking the mechanics of what you are doing or feeling etc.

The key is to focus on the feelings in your cock and the urge to cum.

Having said that, tops have no understanding about the pleasure of bottoming so they associate ultimate pleasure as reaching orgasm because as a top, that is all they know.

Personally, I'd rather fuck for hours and not cum than cum within 5mins and be all done.
 

foxhunt92

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I'm like you too, it takes me forever to cum when having sex but jerking off I can finish in 2 seconds. I think it's either just biology, or that your body is so used to cumming when jerking off that anything different will throw it off. I haven't figured out exactly what it is... Most guys have the opposite problem where they're too quick and fire off in a minute.

I tell people ahead of time that I take a while and to not take it personally. I'm enjoying every moment of it! Puts your mind and their mind at ease.
Same thing here. Personally, I think it's intimacy issues I have but wish I did not have. Hard to shake it - so it takes me some time. But if I'm with someone I know and have been with for a while, it gets much better.