Why can't I own Canadians?

Lordpendragon

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I think you have made the right decision Hypo. You know sometimes they even slip into speaking French. I think this is why God made specific mention of them in Leviticus.
 

D_Gunther Snotpole

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Well, I'm over my pout fest, I've been offered an American as a consolation prize. They seem to be cheaper to keep anyway.:smile:

Yes, because until January 2009, their smart-bombing government will keep barging in and taking over the household.:biggrin1:
You will have no expenses ... and at the end of the day, no house, no foundation, no property ... only freedom.
 

hypolimnas

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You will have no expenses ... and at the end of the day, no house, no foundation, no property ... only freedom.[/quote]

Oh yes, uranium breath, I'd forgotten about that with those Americans.

I always make it quite clear they have to leave their toys at home. I've got my own exploding device!

Are you still looking for a new home?:wink:
 

D_Gunther Snotpole

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Oh I've even fucked a Moose or two and some strange badgers (UK Google slang for that SR), it's just they start hollering "Oh Can adaaaaaaaaa".

"Would you like a nice time, Sir?" said she,
And she sighed so lubriciously,
I succumbed to her wiles.
But awoke, no more smiles:
The damn badger had fleeced me, you see.

Have you lost your wallet, Lord P.?
No Canadian badger would do that.
 

D_Gunther Snotpole

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D_Gunther Snotpole

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The reason you can't own Canadians is that they're not a neighboring nation per se... they're essentially a part of the United States that we just never got around to annexing. Mexico's a different story.

Ouch.
Close enough to the truth to be painful.
You can't own us, because you already do ... and it's best to keep such facts sub rosa.
 

Pumblechook

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Some of you may have already seen this:


Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses
advice to people who call in to her radio show.

Recently (years ago actually), she said that, as an observant
Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US
resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as
informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of
debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates
a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my
neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15 :19-24. The problem is,
how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle
room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them
to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep
with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
Jack

:D :D :D

Beauty in ugliness...

It is the way of the world.

Love how you point out the fault in the.. braggart 35 million lines of code... when, in reality, 80 or so chapters is all you really need for a philosophy in life... and even more so.. like hmm a few words or so really sum it all up. The rest is trying to control your mind with nonsense.
 

madame_zora

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Canadians ARE cool and sexy, but Americans are cheaper- especially with the shrinking dollar. Buying a few Canadians would be a good investment.
 

hypolimnas

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Canadians ARE cool and sexy, but Americans are cheaper- especially with the shrinking dollar. Buying a few Canadians would be a good investment.

Thanks for the tip, but I wasted my allowance on an Australian flingette recently, so I'm really just after free stuff at the moment.

That said, I don't seem to be doing too badly these days.:tongue:

Hmmm, wondering if I might hit my favourite uncle up for a loan.... (I wonder how the gemstone market is these days), I did wonder about investing in a Ruby.:rolleyes: