Why Did Gay Men Continue To Have Open Relationships During The Peak Of The Aids Epidemic?

BussyPhilipps

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This current pandemic has got me thinking: As a gay man who is too young to have experienced the peak of the AIDS epidemic, I still know that the Reagan administration ignored the crisis and that asking gay men to practice abstinence was an unreasonable request. However, I’ve never understood why so many gay men apparently continued to have open relationships during the peak of the epidemic rather than being safer by seeing only one person at a time. It seems like whenever I watch documentaries or movies about famous gay men who lived through that time period, at least one partner in a relationship contracts HIV, develops AIDS and dies. But no one ever discusses the elephant in the room that if at least one half of couple contracts HIV, the couple most likely wasn’t monogamous. I’m not bringing this up to condemn open relationships. Rather, my objective is to understand why people didn’t change their behavior to minimize risk when they knew HIV/AIDS was a potentially deadly sexually transmitted disease and that having multiple sex partners only increased their chances of contracting the virus. I can’t help but think that many of these gay men would still be alive had they temporarily practiced monogamy. Thoughts?
 
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deleted15807

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This is more an incidental observation than any real studies?
 

BussyPhilipps

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This is more an incidental observation than any real studies?
Yes, it’s just an observation I’ve made from documentaries and movies about famous gay men who lived through the AIDS crisis. I’ve noticed that many of the men have had partners who died from AIDS, but it’s almost never brought up that they were probably seeing other people while in the relationship. I just don’t understand why people would have open relationships when a dangerous sexually transmitted disease is going around and killing their friends. It makes me think of the people who still have parties during COVID. Like, yes the government should do a lot more, but also you should be responsible and not engage in risky behavior.
 
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deleted15807

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You’re fighting against over 200000 years of evolution. It would take a lot more than a bug to undo that for any appreciable amount of time. And that’s leaving out the disease of addiction.
 
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deleted7298491

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Because many gay men have a sex addiction. You see it all the data, especially the STD rates.
 
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ActionBuddy

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This current pandemic has got me thinking: As a gay man who is too young to have experienced the peak of the AIDS epidemic, I still know that the Reagan administration ignored the crisis and that asking gay men to practice abstinence was an unreasonable request. However, I’ve never understood why so many gay men apparently continued to have open relationships during the peak of the epidemic rather than being safer by seeing only one person at a time... Thoughts?

Thoughts?... Yes, I have many "thoughts", having lost nearly 50% of my beloved gay and bisexual friends, comrades, and acquaintances to the AIDS plague during the 1980's and 1990's. Most of whom endured absolute abuse and hatred from the families and societies that they were born into, and therefore, suffered from the internalized self-hatred worn by our pre-liberation generations.

But, right now, tonight, is not the time that I feel like sharing those thoughts. Ask me later.

A/B
 
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ConanTheBarber

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I’ve noticed that many of the men have had partners who died from AIDS, but it’s almost never brought up that they were probably seeing other people while in the relationship.
Since it can take years from the point of infection to the emergence of frank Aids (some years back, I read nine years on average, but current figures may be different), you can't make assumptions about infidelity in the relationship.
One might, while already unknowingly infected, undertake a new relationship and renounce all possibility of extracurricular contact -- all the while the infection clock is ticking.
And then there are the nonsexual roots to infection, including intravenous drug use and blood transfusion.
Of course, I wouldn't deny that some cases develop in just the fashion you suggest.
 
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deleted7298491

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Since it can take years from the point of infection to the emergence of frank Aids (some years back, I read nine years on average, but current figures may be different), you can't make assumptions about infidelity in the relationship.
One might, while already unknowingly infected, undertake a new relationship and renounce all possibility of extracurricular contact -- all the while the infection clock is ticking.
And then there are the nonsexual roots to infection, including intravenous drug use and blood transfusion.
Of course, I wouldn't deny that some cases develop in just the fashion you suggest.

Are you really going to argue there isn’t a high rate of open relationships and promiscuity in the gay community? I’m not in any way saying AIDS was deserved (I’m gay). But I do think there needs to be a level of personal responsibility in the same way we acknowledge that smoking causes lung cancer and unhealthy eating causes heart disease and diabetes.
 
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Klingsor

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Are you really going to argue there isn’t a high rate of open relationships and promiscuity in the gay community? I’m not in any way saying AIDS was deserved (I’m gay). But I do think there needs to be a level of personal responsibility in the same way we acknowledge that smoking causes lung cancer and unhealthy eating causes heart disease and diabetes.

I think of it as less of a gay thing than a male thing. And, you know, two males . . .
 

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I think I asked a similar question once about open relationships. I think the same could be said about straight relationships as well. I don’t think people really discuss the rates of straight people contracting STDs either. It’s always this common conception that gay people are the ones getting aids and all other STDs while ignoring how many straight folks are contracting STDS. They are out here raw dogging everyone.
 
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deleted7298491

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I think I asked a similar question once about open relationships. I think the same could be said about straight relationships as well. I don’t think people really discuss the rates of straight people contracting STDs either. It’s always this common conception that gay people are the ones getting aids and all other STDs while ignoring how many straight folks are contracting STDS. They are out here raw dogging everyone.

Yeah, that’s not true. County health departments do publish that data and gays are off the charts compared to straights. Denial doesn’t solve problems.
 
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Klingsor

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Yeah, that’s not true. County health departments do publish that data and gays are off the charts compared to straights. Denial doesn’t solve problems.

I wonder how that compares with how off the charts gays are compared to straights in the public *perception* of AIDS.
 
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deleted7298491

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I wonder how that compares with how off the charts gays are compared to straights in the public *perception* of AIDS.

I’m not sure your question but close to 90 percent of AIDS infections were among gay and bisexual men.
 
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Player_01

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I’m not sure your question but close to 90 percent of AIDS infections were among gay and bisexual men.
CDC says 68%, which is high but not "close to 90 percent"
cdc-hiv-msm-new-diagnoses-1000x177.png

HIV and Gay and Bisexual Men | HIV by Group | HIV/AIDS | CDC

Also it's "HIV" infections not "AIDS infections"

Are you really going to argue there isn’t a high rate of open relationships and promiscuity in the gay community?
"Promiscuity"? I don't have time to unpack all of this. Straights all have open relationships they just don't talk about it, look at Trump or Clinton. They all 'cheated' but their wives knew about it and were fine as long as they got their lives to lead.

However, I’ve never understood why so many gay men apparently continued to have open relationships during the peak of the epidemic rather than being safer by seeing only one person at a time.
Did they?

It seems like whenever I watch documentaries or movies about famous gay men who lived through that time period, at least one partner in a relationship contracts HIV, develops AIDS and dies.
Confirmation bias. You watched movies that involve the stereotype that all gays were going to die of AIDs
Bury Your Gays - TV Tropes
Depraved Homosexual - TV Tropes
 
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deleted15807

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I think of it as less of a gay thing than a male thing. And, you know, two males . . .

Yes that's the thing other than which genitals you want to acquaintant yourself with gay men and straight men are quite similar.
 
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ActionBuddy

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That is partially explained by anal intercourse being a superior medium for transmission of HIV than vaginal intercourse.

Bizarre use of the word, "superior"... Not even sure if this is a fact. Perhaps it was more that anal sex was the sexual preference for the majority of those infected with HIV at the time?... Let's hear from the "experts" to chime in about that.

A/B