I don't mean sexually (obviously I hope). I mean: why do they seem to have fewer female friends, less appreciation for women generally, less conversation about famous females, fewer social media posts focused on women, etc.? Obviously I know I'm generalizing (so no need to tell me that), and I'm sure they love their moms as much as anyone, but I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't seen this as a general distinction and trend over my decades as an out gay man. Any thoughts? It's not just down to projections of masculinity, because it doesn't generally apply as much to other masculine groups like gay jocks and so on.
Why do bears seem to have less to do with women than other "tribes" of gay men?
- Thread starter JoeRoscoe
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I live in Montréal in Montréal, we have a gay bear bars, and the diva nights is the most popular one. So I don’t know if i agree with your statement. Bears live their divas.
Buuuut, if by bears you refer only to the 55+ maybe you’re right, and we only focus on the “friendship” aspect of your question, I think its a generational thing.
What i mean is, gays have supporting other gays in the community, for older generations, the hetero normative world was not “as welcoming” just a few decades ago. i’m a 31yo bear/cub and i have lots of female and hetero male friends because, luckily for me, my generation sees past that. But for older generations lets just say it was harder, i have noticed that the social circles seem smaller for the 55+ and mainly LGBT. But i dont think its a bear VS female thing more than it is the acceptance gay men in general got from heteros during those periods.
hope this answers your question!
Buuuut, if by bears you refer only to the 55+ maybe you’re right, and we only focus on the “friendship” aspect of your question, I think its a generational thing.
What i mean is, gays have supporting other gays in the community, for older generations, the hetero normative world was not “as welcoming” just a few decades ago. i’m a 31yo bear/cub and i have lots of female and hetero male friends because, luckily for me, my generation sees past that. But for older generations lets just say it was harder, i have noticed that the social circles seem smaller for the 55+ and mainly LGBT. But i dont think its a bear VS female thing more than it is the acceptance gay men in general got from heteros during those periods.
hope this answers your question!
I don't agree with your assessment. There's plenty of bears with female BFFs that I know of, and many of them make regular appearances in the bars with their bear friends. Your mileage may vary, but I think whatever situations are informing your perception of this situation are unique to you and the crowd you know/interact with. It's definitely not consistent with my experiences.
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