Why do black women on this site only like white guys?

[AlteredEgo]

In my freshman sociology class when I was at Morehouse College we were talking about this. There is a group of rich families in VA. Extremely light skinned who only intermarry with each other to "keep the bloodline" or stay light skinned.

Is it a large number of families, or are they slowly becoming as twitchy as Poodles?

 

[Smooth88]

Is it a large number of families, or are they slowly becoming as twitchy as Poodles?

Who knows? Just the concept really grinds my gears.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

We can have a intelligent conversation without some of the not so kind words posted in this thread regarding someones race. Let's try keep things positive and try be more understanding. Thank you.

 

[Smooth88]

We can have a intelligent conversation without some of the not so kind words posted in this thread regarding someones race. Let's try keep things positive and try be more understanding. Thank you.

Thank you Mr. Snakey.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

Yup! I asked one guy who said he thought I'd be high-maintenance based on the way I speak and write why looking at me didn't change that perception. I'm certainly not a sharp dresser. My hair is frequently chaotic, and my nails are usually in terrible shape. I don't like sneakers until they are two years old. Most of my dress shoes are in desperate need of polishing. He said he just thought I would be bougie, and was pleasantly surprised when we got to know each other.

He was also surprised when I expressed interest in him. He thought I'd probably prefer someone not so dark-skinned like he. I'll admit that the thought occurred to me he might prefer whites and light-skinned asians like so many other black men I've met who are as affluent as he. He exclusively dates dark-skinned women with kinky hair like mine.

I often wondered if despite his very dark skin, he worried about people challenging his blackness (because of his interests, speech, and success) and if that was why he dressed like a thug when he didnt' have to wear a suit, and wouldn't even consider dating a woman with straightened hair, let alone outside of his race.

In my experience, they stole from me, called me names, beat up on me, and generally harrassed me. This wasn't restricted to my own grade, but was the entire school from grades 3-8. There was some relief in the 8th grade when I went into a special class, but some of my bullies were bright too, and also got into that class. Thank God I was popular in high school. I think I would have killed myself if I had to deal with the same bullshit then too. I thought about killing myself at least once a day from grades 5-8. I tried a few times, too. Racist American blacks are the worst, because they hate people who look just like them.

Anyway, those experiences have led to a lingering distrust of blacks and latinos. I do not seek out their company without consciously forcing myself to remember to give individuals a chance.

This thread brings to mind another thing I have only experienced with black guys when I was growing up. Did any other black women here experience the following when they were teenagers? My mother never wanted me to be disconnected from the community from which "we" (meaning she) came. To that end, I always had to go to after-school programs in the ghetto, sleep-away camps with kids from the ghetto, etc. I found that a lot of the black guys would bully me in public, but if we were ever alone, they'd want to be very flirty or even overtly sexual with me. Alone with me, they could admit to themselves that they found me attractive, but in public, I was "too white" and had to be destroyed. Did anyone else experience similarly?

I am sorry to read of your feelings of distrust, but they seem to be rooted in some genuinely bad experiences.

Other than that brief period, I have not experienced any significant negative contact with Black men. There can be some feelings of unfamiliarity or little differences in expectations, but that 's more cultural and really just certain people. Interestingly, the majority of Black men in my academic program (about 4 of maybe 6 or 7 men) were from disadvantaged/'ghetto' backgrounds, however, each have grown into amazing academics.

One man, in particular, is gay and stated he used his hardness as protection when growing up, but dropped it once he started college outside of the city. Unfortunately, I do not think enough people get a chance to re-imagine or re-invent themselves in the same manner. If more had the opportunity, I think there would be many more commonalities and a deeper awareness of internal issues, which Proud7 touched on earlier.

Having said that, I also think too many see a man in dreads, or timbs, or seemingly thuggish and assume they are ghetto, hoodrats, or violent, when that may be anything but the case. I think marginalization, or attempts to, exist all along the Black spectrum - in terms of culture, color, education, and likely more.

Obama is called black because he is finally able to get elected with that designation.

Curious. What is Black and if he is not it, other than in this context, what difference is there between him and "Black" people?

We can have a intelligent conversation without some of the not so kind words posted in this thread regarding someones race. Let's try keep things positive and try be more understanding. Thank you.

This is rather nebulous. To prevent any transgression, care to explain which words used were "not so kind"?

 

[DGirl]

NO he ment the RACIST words in someones post.. NOT you..

 

[helgaleena]

Curious. What is Black and if he is not it, other than in this context, what difference is there between him and "Black" people?

That is what I am wondering, too! I am presuming that he would have still been elected if he were Asian or Hispanic or some other minority for the purposes of this discussion.

Btw I put my hair in dreads in honor of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was damn difficult to persuade it because it's fine and blond but it looks like noodles... I didn't think people would mistake me for 'ghetto'!

But maybe they do

 

[invisibleman]

I am not much of a showoffy kind of person but maybe when you get some nutless baked goods in the mail in the future...

:lmao:
Mmm, someday I will savor your nut(less) treats, Invisi. :la: :hug:

:33:
:eek13:Yeah, I hope to put a lot in your box when I get it done.:eek13:
:wiggle:
​

 

[invisibleman]

Well, I hope this was thought provoking. It was cathartic for me.

Hey it was a good discussion. I'm not even talking about the OP. I'm talking about the recent off-topicness that's detracting from what the thread is about and our intelligent conversation.

Yeah, I agree. Some of my best friends are black women...who date white guys. (Joke.)

 

[invisibleman]

(Speechless.)

Yup! I asked one guy who said he thought I'd be high-maintenance based on the way I speak and write why looking at me didn't change that perception. I'm certainly not a sharp dresser. My hair is frequently chaotic, and my nails are usually in terrible shape. I don't like sneakers until they are two years old. Most of my dress shoes are in desperate need of polishing. He said he just thought I would be bougie, and was pleasantly surprised when we got to know each other.

OMG!! That is haute couture of the bourgeois. You have to be in a high tax bracket. Look at Lady Gaga. :biggrin1:

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

NO he ment the RACIST words in someones post.. NOT you..

Thanks, D!

We can have a intelligent conversation without some of the not so kind words posted in this thread regarding someones race. Let's try keep things positive and try be more understanding. Thank you.

Sorry, I thought you mean ghetto. :08: A friend showed me the post, though. Thanks, Mr. S!

That is what I am wondering, too!

There is no difference. In many ways, including racial makeup, Obama is representative of Black people. If Black is an inadequate description for Obama, it must also inadequately describe all Black people. Certainly in the Americas.

 

[D_Inglethorp Rumpshow]

Thanks, D!

Sorry, I thought you mean ghetto. :08: A friend showed me the post, though. Thanks, Mr. S!



There is no difference. In many ways, including racial makeup, Obama is representative of Black people. If Black is an inadequate description for Obama, it must also inadequately describe all Black people. Certainly in the Americas.

^This

 

[EboniGoddess]

i'm currently giving a "black man" who was once in my life another chance. he better not fuck it up. I'm trying to be nice to someone and not factor in race. I said this year I would be more forgiving so i've decided to give people a second chance. Just thought I should post that here because of the things i said earlier in the thread

 

[galaxus]

i'm currently giving a "black man" who was once in my life another chance. he better not fuck it up. I'm trying to be nice to someone and not factor in race. I said this year I would be more forgiving so i've decided to give people a second chance. Just thought I should post that here because of the things i said earlier in the thread

Cool. I don't want to pressure you into doing somthing you don't want though. Date who you want. I can only advise that you can an open mind and don't miss a great opportunity/relationship when it comes.

That being said, if its that rude fuck buddy you had before, things probably won't change unless you both grew separately for a couple of years. I see girls and guys CONSTANTLY make up and break up so much that its ridiculous. Don't fall into that cycle.

Best wishes!

 

[EboniGoddess]

Cool. I don't want to pressure you into doing somthing you don't want though. Date who you want. I can only advise that you can an open mind and don't miss a great opportunity/relationship when it comes.

That being said, if its that rude fuck buddy you had before, things probably won't unless you both grew separately for a couple of years. I constant see girls and guys CONSTANTLY make up and break up so much that its ridiculous. Don't fall into that cycle.

Best wishes!

yeah, im not being pressured. yes, this is the old rude fuck buddy. turns out he liked me so now i'm thinking maybe thats why he was so mean and rude to me. We have friends in common and the friend was telling me stuff he was saying and he was telling the guy stuff i was saying and next thing ya know we was talking on yahoo yesterday. now he's telling me how he liked me so much. he says things will be different if we're in a relationship so i'll see where it goes.

 

[invisibleman]

i'm currently giving a "black man" who was once in my life another chance. He better not fuck it up. I'm trying to be nice to someone and not factor in race. I said this year I would be more forgiving so i've decided to give people a second chance. Just thought I should post that here because of the things i said earlier in the thread

You should date any man you want. Don't tolerate abuse from any man whether he be black or white.

I was hoping that women would be honest about who they like and not hide. I know a lot of black women in my neighborhood that date white men. They don't want to admit liking white guys. And they go into rationalizing and I have to tell those women that they shouldn't have to make a bunch of excuses. I don't want to hear fabrications. They don't have explain their reasons to me why they want white guys and why they are attracted to them.

I bet if you ask a person who they like and love and why are they attracted to them. They will all be different people...and they will not be able to give a concrete reason on why.

 

[invisibleman]

it does not matter if the guys are black brown pink or have blue spots on them, the fact is all men on this planet today are SDL's (sad desperate loonies) different socio-economic groups have greater preponderance to ones own.

My lesbian niece and lesbian sister feels that way about men, too.

It also has a lot to do with owning property, am I somebody's property?...like hell! Am I to be treated like property....you can try, but be assured the maintenance costs are going to cripple you!

I agree. You both are grown and can do what you want. Even God has given Man free will.


All women want regardless of colour creed nationality is to be treated with respect, our desires and needs met, that costs you money! If you haven't got it, you ain't getting it!

I hope that it is money well-spent. There is nothing like people assigning value in dollar $igns. If you aren't giving it, don't be surprised if someone else is giving it.

Oh as since Freya is a norse goddess, I require worshipping and sacrifice too!

Independent women don't need worship or sacrifice. They can do enough self-worship and self-sacrifice for themselves, right? :biggrin1:

 

[invisibleman]

yeah, im not being pressured. yes, this is the old rude fuck buddy. turns out he liked me so now i'm thinking maybe thats why he was so mean and rude to me.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now he's telling me how he liked me so much. he says things will be different if we're in a relationship so i'll see where it goes.

(Speechless.)

 

[Drifterwood]

In another thread, Drifterwood expressed interest in the Human GenomeProject. He, a citizen of a former Empire with plenty of 'darkies' to bring 'civilization' to,

Technically, I am a Subject.

Maybe some of you would like to study me some time :wink:.

 

[ConstantComment]

------Curious. What is Black and if he is not it, other than in this context, what difference is there between him and "Black" people?

I'm trying to figure that out. Some white Americans were calling Obama mixed race for a while but I am one those from the "black community" who didn't like it. I'm glad his white supporters stopped doing it.

I do notice that the term mixed race gets used regulalry here and dark Blacks - Carribbeans and Africans will use the term to refer to fairer skinned blacks quite naturally. The term for me just seems so divisive and not clear. Does it refer to fair skinned blacks whose pure white blood comes from several generations ago or does it refer only to those blacks who have one white parent even though one might not think that from their appearance like Obama, Tiger Woods or Scary Spcie.

What i find interesting personally is that while Europeans have no idea that I am black many white Americans do.