Why do guys make such a big thing about age

MattTheTwink

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Hi,

I am a 19 year old twink ish looking guy - very lean/ toned. I generally don’t have a type for the guy I’m looking for but usually end up being interested in older guys, since our conversations tend to be more flowy and we get along quite well.

however lately most guys I’ve been interested seem to like my body and notice my maturity and are very interested in my looks and brains and what I have to offer…. But when they realise that I’m 19 they seem disinterested and tend to move away from the conversation.

what is wrong with being a 19 year old :/

If any of you guys could leave some advice or maybe opinions ♥️
 

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Hello Matt, I am at the opposite end of the age spectrum from you. I have been retired longer that you have been drawing breath. I experience some of the same tbings as you as far as age is concerned. I am healthy, very energetic, have a very high libido and the stamina to back it up. I have played with men less than half my age. Many have commented and complimented me about seeming to be much younger that the calendar indicates. I feel age is just a number. Of course I have been where you are and someday all or most all will be where I am. Wish you the best. Life is too short to get caught up in discrimination.
 

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Nothing is wrong. The cute college twink I've been seeing for the last year is 19. I'm 61. Full disclosure - I don't do exclusive relationships. We're just FB's. He dates guys his age and has had three bfs since we met.

IMO lots of older men are ageist. I'm not bc I'm not much different than I was at 18. More experienced yes but my personality is the same as it was then and I feel the same as I did then. :)
 

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what is wrong with being a 19 year old :/
Isn't the irony here that you don't seem interested in your own archetype?

however lately most guys I’ve been interested seem to like my body and notice my maturity and are very interested in my looks and brains and what I have to offer…. But when they realise that I’m 19 they seem disinterested and tend to move away from the conversation.
Being ageist is definitely a thing..but being a man that Is judged harshly for his romantic choices is also a thing, independent of sexuality. To that end, my guess is the righteous ick society would feel if say my 38yr old self decided 18yr old HS girls were a reasonable sexual market to indulge upon, is the ick these older men wish to avoid, by passing on you.
 

MattTheTwink

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Isn't the irony here that you don't seem interested in your own archetype?
Well the reason I’m not interested in guys my age is for the reason that unlike me they have no clue where they life is headed and are nowhere close to having a nice conversation. And the ones that do aren’t physically my type but that’s something else
 
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Sagittarius84

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Well the reason I’m not interested in guys my age is for the reason that unlike me they have no clue where they life is headed and are nowhere close to having a nice conversation. And the ones that do aren’t physically my type but that’s something else
Well, I'll give you the same advice I gave my teenaged daughter, If you're not willing to be the mature leader of a relationship, or you can't find someone suitable your age then you probably have no business dating. Because at 19, I promise you the vast majority of guys with their life headed in a definite direction and whom possess great conversational skills either are going to steer clear of you and find an appropriate counterpart, or are player enough to capitalize on those skills to extract youthful sex from you and that's about it.

Maybe get to age 25, where you can be trusted to rent a car legally, then try dating older men, as opposed to now where one couldn't invite you to a wine tasting...by law.
 

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Well the reason I’m not interested in guys my age is for the reason that unlike me they have no clue where they life is headed and are nowhere close to having a nice conversation.

I get this. A number of young women and men I've dated over the years have said they don't date their own age for the same reason.
 

Sagittarius84

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I get this. A number of young women and men I've dated over the years have said they don't date their own age for the same reason.
I've heard this too, far too many times.. typically to me it translates as either, " I don't want to be/can't be the mature/responsible part of a relationship" or "people my age can't provide the lifestyle or experiences I feel entitled to, even as I cannot achieve them myself"
But I think OP is quite aware of this, because according to him, even the older men shy away from him once they realize his age, and I'm betting if they were to be interviewed after the fact all or most, consider him not mature/responsible enough, unable to provide certain lifestyles and experiences for himself, not really having a realistic idea of where his life is going, and not really able to maintain a convo. He should thank his lucky stars he's been rejected by decent older men and not taken advantage of by the men simply seeking his youthful sexuality.
 

MattTheTwink

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I've heard this too, far too many times.. typically to me it translates as either, " I don't want to be/can't be the mature/responsible part of a relationship" or "people my age can't provide the lifestyle or experiences I feel entitled to, even as I cannot achieve them myself"
But I think OP is quite aware of this, because according to him, even the older men shy away from him once they realize his age, and I'm betting if they were to be interviewed after the fact all or most, consider him not mature/responsible enough, unable to provide certain lifestyles and experiences for himself, not really having a realistic idea of where his life is going, and not really able to maintain a convo. He should thank his lucky stars he's been rejected by decent older men and not taken advantage of by the men simply seeking his youthful sexuality.
I’ve been told many times that I’m mature for my age but the fact that I’m 19 and they’re in they late 20s mid 30s bothers them because it’s not the norm.

I’m not looking for someone older to help live my lifestyle…. I work I study and I know where my life is headed.

Im an accountant at one of the big 4 firms
Im studying for my masters
Im a dancer (Going to LA for 3 weeks in summer to practice and train with top choreographers)
I teach dance and sports to little kids a few times a week
I do content creation both on OF and on Insta

I’ll get my masters in June 2024 - would be turning 21
I’ll get my warrant in 2026 - would be 22/23
i can get my first house in 2 years time.

Most guys my age either are conflicted with what they want to study/become which is completely ok especially in the world we live it’s easy to get confused but ultimately they’re not for me.

they have no clue how to save money - constantly spending money on clothes and material things. - I do aswell but I limit myself, maybe it’s the accountant in me.

But at least I know where my life is headed - obviously over time things may change like up until a few months ago I was hoping I’d be able to get a place next year but I got the chance to go to LA and it’s gonna cost me 5k but it will be for the better of my future and after all an experience I will cherish forever.
 

MattTheTwink

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Well, I'll give you the same advice I gave my teenaged daughter, If you're not willing to be the mature leader of a relationship, or you can't find someone suitable your age then you probably have no business dating. Because at 19, I promise you the vast majority of guys with their life headed in a definite direction and whom possess great conversational skills either are going to steer clear of you and find an appropriate counterpart, or are player enough to capitalize on those skills to extract youthful sex from you and that's about it.

Maybe get to age 25, where you can be trusted to rent a car legally, then try dating older men, as opposed to now where one couldn't invite you to a wine tasting...by law.

where I’m from drinking is at the age of 17… I can also drive and have a car :)

not to mention that I don’t mind being the mature one in the relationship but at least they need to be able to communicate and have a conversation….

Also I’m not dumb and people make it very clear if they just wanna hook up and if accepted it certain times when I’m in the mood but ultimately when looking for a guy to have something more than just a hook up things change :/

Actually a large number of these people wouldn’t wanna hook up or meet up in real life because of the age thing
 
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Sagittarius84

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I’ve been told many times that I’m mature for my age but the fact that I’m 19 and they’re in they late 20s mid 30s bothers them because it’s not the norm.

I’m not looking for someone older to help live my lifestyle…. I work I study and I know where my life is headed.

Im an accountant at one of the big 4 firms
Im studying for my masters
Im a dancer (Going to LA for 3 weeks in summer to practice and train with top choreographers)
I teach dance and sports to little kids a few times a week
I do content creation both on OF and on Insta

I’ll get my masters in June 2024 - would be turning 21
I’ll get my warrant in 2026 - would be 22/23
i can get my first house in 2 years time.

Most guys my age either are conflicted with what they want to study/become which is completely ok especially in the world we live it’s easy to get confused but ultimately they’re not for me.

they have no clue how to save money - constantly spending money on clothes and material things. - I do aswell but I limit myself, maybe it’s the accountant in me.

But at least I know where my life is headed - obviously over time things may change like up until a few months ago I was hoping I’d be able to get a place next year but I got the chance to go to LA and it’s gonna cost me 5k but it will be for the better of my future and after all an experience I will cherish forever.
And yet for all these things, The very men you feel you are suited for are consistently backing away from you...perhaps not specifically because of your age, but because your attitude about your contemporaries isn't necessarily an attractant. Why is it so imperative that an older guy should look at you on his level, when you are totally upfront your unwillingness to do so with someone actually on your level, no matter what your socioeconomic aspirations are.
Also I can tell you from a universal perspective(this definitely applies to men interested in women as well)....
Im a dancer (Going to LA for 3 weeks in summer to practice and train with top choreographers)
I teach dance and sports to little kids a few times a week
I do content creation both on OF and on Insta
This(with the exception of the teaching bit), combined with you being 19 is the biggest red flag of all...it screams headache in all types of ways to men, at least for long term relationships.
 
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MattTheTwink

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This(with the exception of the teaching bit), combined with you being 19 is the biggest red flag of all...it screams headache in all types of ways to men, at least for long term relationships.

Please care to explain?

Sagittarius84 said:
And yet for all these things, The very men you feel you are suited for are consistently backing away from you...perhaps not specifically because of your age, but because your attitude about your contemporaries isn't necessarily an attractant. Why is it so imperative that an older guy should look at you on his level, when you are totally upfront your unwillingness to do so with someone actually on your level, no matter what your socioeconomic aspirations are.
Also I can tell you from a universal perspective(this definitely applies to men interested in women as well)....

Well I don't know - I've had a few times where the guys blame it on the age as not to say that physically I'm not their type but on most cases it's definitely the age.
 
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Matt a great post with excellent responses. As an older guy I’m always taken a bit aback when a much younger man flirts with me. I guess that’s because I’m being ageist about myself ;-) When I relax and enjoy spending time with a younger man I’ve gained from the experience, and it reads like the same is true for you. Being young or old, life is to be lived. Live it!
 

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Please care to explain?
Don't take this as ageist, but I have enough trouble talking about this with 30+adults whom haven't grown up enough. If you don't understand why making OF and Insta content, as well as jetting off to specific places doesn't endear to adult men looking for healthy long term relationships, I think it's another indicator of perhaps needing to be the more mature, put together party in a relationship, or just staying single.
 
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MattTheTwink

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Don't take this as ageist, but I have enough trouble talking about this with 30+adults whom haven't grown up enough. If you don't understand why making OF and Insta content, as well as jetting off to specific places doesn't endear to adult men looking for healthy long term relationships, I think it's another indicator of perhaps needing to be the more mature, put together party in a relationship, or just staying single.

First of all my OF is on the down low and would be more than happy with stopping it if I meet the right person. Secondly what do you mean jetting off to specific places... if you're talking about the LA part if an adult guy can't understand that then he's the immature one. Once I'm older I'll still be jetting off to places because of work like many people do, so I'm not sure what's wrong with that.
 

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He should thank his lucky stars he's been rejected by decent older men and not taken advantage of by the men simply seeking his youthful sexuality.

Unless he wants his youthful sexuality "taken advantage of" with someone he finds suitable. ;)

He may choose to use his youthful sexuality to "take advantage" of someone older.

Either way or both ways it's his call not yours. :)

Seriously. Saying someone should date their own age is like saying they should date their own race or religion or sex or opposite sex. Is that what "decent" people do?
 

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Unless he wants his youthful sexuality "taken advantage of" with someone he finds suitable. ;)

He may choose to use his youthful sexuality to "take advantage" of someone older.

Either way or both ways it's his call not yours. :)

Seriously. Saying someone should date their own age is like saying they should date their own race or religion or sex or opposite sex. Is that what "decent" people do?
Decent people recognize that if the people they supposedly align with aren't reciprocating the notion, then their perspective is probably a bit off. I feel if OP was the actual rare 19 yo whom demonstrated traits that appealed to older men that actually have their stuff together and have benevolent intentions, that is the attention he would receive. Instead he won't date himself, he supposedly can't date his less mature contemporaries, but he feels like he should be valued by a demographic of men that have the highest statistical probability of losing out should they engage with his archetype, male or female. OP isn't getting what he wants, he doesn't seem to imply he's looking to be used or use anyone, but have a genuine relationship with what he considers an equal. I'm simply suggesting those men probably still look at him as a lesser and/or a liability, and that if he's looking to appeal to someone as an asset he's better served looking toward a contemporary, where, gasp, he might have to fill the leader/provider role.
 

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First of all my OF is on the down low and would be more than happy with stopping it if I meet the right person. Secondly what do you mean jetting off to specific places... if you're talking about the LA part if an adult guy can't understand that then he's the immature one. Once I'm older I'll still be jetting off to places because of work like many people do, so I'm not sure what's wrong with that.
So why not date yourself? What is the value in an older established partner that you can't get from a similarly aged peer? I have a couple clues, but it'd be nice for you to elaborate.
 

MattTheTwink

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Decent people recognize that if the people they supposedly align with aren't reciprocating the notion, then their perspective is probably a bit off. I feel if OP was the actual rare 19 yo whom demonstrated traits that appealed to older men that actually have their stuff together and have benevolent intentions, that is the attention he would receive. Instead he won't date himself, he supposedly can't date his less mature contemporaries, but he feels like he should be valued by a demographic of men that have the highest statistical probability of losing out should they engage with his archetype, male or female. OP isn't getting what he wants, he doesn't seem to imply he's looking to be used or use anyone, but have a genuine relationship with what he considers an equal. I'm simply suggesting those men probably still look at him as a lesser and/or a liability, and that if he's looking to appeal to someone as an asset he's better served looking toward a contemporary, where, gasp, he might have to fill the leader/provider role.

In the terms of being looked as a liability that is exactly what I am because in the eyes of these men the disadvantages that come with dating or having the company of a 19 year old outweigh the advantages that I have :)