Interesting discussion!
I think that maybe the issues we’re straddling here are age/sexual attraction/intelligence versus Life Experiences. And, my guess is that many of the “older” men that the OP mentions who find him physically attractive and mentally compatible (at least as far as basic conversation goes), take flight when they learn that he is 19 because they then realize that at that age, his personality is perhaps not as fully-formed as they would hope.
While many (most?) 19 year olds today perhaps don’t have a clue as to where they want to go in life, others can and do have a pretty good idea and plan as to where they want to go and who they want to be. I’ll quote the OP: “I work I study and I know where my life is headed”. I’m sure that he does. It sounds like he’s doing quite a bit already to support his goals. And, I congratulate him for that.
However, his confidence in himself belies the fact that at 19 he hasn’t yet had enough of the “hard knocks” in life that may push him off his planned course. He’ll spend the next decades learning a lot about Life, and about himself…and may make many changes and course corrections as to “where my life is headed”. Additionally, a number of his own ideas and opinions will change—sometimes radically.
In that respect, I think that most “older” men—myself included—tend to find that over-confidence in youth can be a bit of a turn-off after the first flush of interest when the conversation starts getting into deeper territory. The older man finds the younger man’s confidence just a bit too smug when he realizes that the younger man hasn’t really “lived” yet—particularly because a lot of the intelligence and opinions the younger man speaks about aren’t based on tangible experiences. And, conversely, the younger man will tend to look at some of the older man’s foibles and opinions as “dated” or otherwise false based on his own limited experiences. He can’t yet fathom what has made the older man who and what he is because he hasn’t been buffeted by the same experiences yet.
Before I retired, I was employed in a “creative” industry where I worked with and directed people (male and female) much younger than myself. And, I saw this dynamic daily in the work situation…and heard about it often in discussions (very similar to the OP’s comments) about life outside of work.
If two people really like and respect each other, and a deeper bond develops over time, those issues can be surmounted. But, it doesn’t usually happen because one side or the other will tend to back away when they realize that their Life Experiences don’t match up. Which is what is happening with the OP, it seems.
