Why do i feel the need to cheat?

[D_Della Doubledees]

So... put it this way.. what is stopping this girl from doing the same thing when she is wet around some horny guy that knows how to break into her system. In the end, if I am keeping my horizons broadened, it wouldn't hurt me because i would have options to either give her another chance or move on, and moving on would be very easy.

I think you know the answer to that.

Maybe it's what you're afraid of... and maybe it's what's making you think in circles about this whole thing.

It's evident that if she ISN'T doing the same thing.... she's in love with you... or at least she's not letting other prospects in because she thinks you may be the 'catch' that those other men aren't. Do you see what I'm getting at here? She is falling for you. She is putting faith in the fact that you feel the same way about her.

Perhaps it scares you... maybe you have feelings for her, too... and are afraid to commit. The apple won't be dangling in front of your face for very long.

Perhaps you are used to women playing hard to get and like the thrill of the chase. You're the only one who can answer those questions. Just know that you're holding someone else's heart in your hands, and what you do will affect the way they trust and interact with people.

Being honest isn't easy. Sometimes it's very painful.... but very much the 'right' thing to do.

If you confront her and say that you want to keep seeing her but 'date other people' and she agrees... isn't that being more honest and still potentially getting what you want?

On the other hand, if you KNOW for sure that she WON'T go for that... then there's your answer. She wants a monogamous relationship, and you're not ready for one. It might be shitty to admit to her, but it's honest, and it's being a MAN to tell her so. In the end, you'll have no secrets to hide, no lies to tell, and nothing to prove, because you're just being who you are.

That's all anyone really wants. Someone who IS who they say they are.... right?

 

[lowteg]

You got it too good, You don't deserve her,

I remember your older threads where I think this is possibly the same girl..who she wouldn't have sex and wanted you to wait a lil bit..

You act hell immature and deserve some girl who will just fuck you around and treat you like shit...

 

[D_Alfredo Hites]

i don't think it's that you're "not ready for a relationship" because i hate to break it to you, but that feeling will never go away. that temptation will always be there regardless. it is how you handle that and deal with it that is the challenge.

it comes down to selfishness (we are all innately selfish) and whether or not you feel your partner and the relationship is worth risking.

 

[sexplease]

I have the ideal girlfriend. She is beautiful, always fun, been together many months and have never fought once or had any drama. She is very low maintenance and easy to please, not one I have to take to dinner and dates to impress. She is very faithful and will do anything to please me sexually, and this is coming from a kink. When we are together we often have sex 2-3 times a day.

Why in the hell do i feel the need to cheat constantly? Ive already gotten with girls outside of this, and it wasn't that great. In the past I dreamed about having a girl like this and I think about bangin other girls a LOT!

Why? Why do YOU think?
Answer: Control issues
I think you fear rejection and abuse, so you create a situation in which you create self-abuse to maintain control.

 

[D_Duane Pipe]

Dump her, she deserves better and you know it. You speak of it in your opening post. You talk about how good she is to you and how she's all you've ever dreamed of. Well, let her be with a guy who can return that to her.

 

[sexplease]

not a single answer addresses the issue of Why he feels he needs to cheat.

Having a dick does not make you cheat.
Having testicles that produce the hormone testosterone drives the male physical urge to fuck. period.
Cheating has nothing to do with fucking. Cheating is a self-imposed archaic pseudo-religious doctrine to control people.
Cheating is a control issue.
Cheating is a self-abuse issue.
Cheating is saying or inferring one thing and doing or saying another.

suggestions:
first: Be honest. with yourself and your partner(s)
second: Live the first suggestion and have open deeper relations.
third: Don't buy into the cheating shit. it's self controlling and defeatist

Choose monogamy or don't, but be honest about it.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I have the ideal girlfriend. She is beautiful, always fun, been together many months and have never fought once or had any drama. She is very low maintenance and easy to please, not one I have to take to dinner and dates to impress. She is very faithful and will do anything to please me sexually, and this is coming from a kink. When we are together we often have sex 2-3 times a day.

Why in the hell do i feel the need to cheat constantly? Ive already gotten with girls outside of this, and it wasn't that great. In the past I dreamed about having a girl like this and I think about bangin other girls a LOT!

You sound like a human male to me. I don't think you're strange or wrong. There's so much pressure to be faithful these days that it's become one more societal taboo.

Most women want a man to be something he basically isn't....monogamous, predictable and stable. Women want a nest in which to raise babies. If you don't want a nest, don't get involved with a nester.

 

[Hellboy0]

You sound like a human male to me. I don't think you're strange or wrong. There's so much pressure to be faithful these days that it's become one more societal taboo.

Most women want a man to be something he basically isn't....monogamous, predictable and stable. Women want a nest in which to raise babies. If you don't want a nest, don't get involved with a nester.

Buddy, the same applies to guy-on-guy relationships, too. Monogamy is a very difficult decision and possibly impossible to maintain. I've always found that a 'don't ask, don't tell' and 'please be discrete if it happens' set of policies important if you are long-term with someone you love and trust.

Works for me but only after I've developed the relationship over a bit of time and history.

 

[Principessa]

Dump her, she deserves better and you know it. You speak of it in your opening post. You talk about how good she is to you and how she's all you've ever dreamed of. Well, let her be with a guy who can return that to her.

QFT!

 

[2322]

Perhaps men just realize that sex does not equal love and commitment no matter how much women would like to believe all the good men think that.

 

[fak_et]

Some of you people need to chill out, sounds like you guys are only able to find 0 to 1 sex partner.

 

[8060]

Some of you people need to chill out, sounds like you guys are only able to find 0 to 1 sex partner.

Try not to take everybody so personally, LOL.

I mean you did ask. They're just everyone's opinions is all:smile: I think you're a good guy...just really horny:biggrin1:

 

[Drifterwood]

Perhaps men just realize that sex does not equal love and commitment no matter how much women would like to believe all the good men think that.

Thank you Jason. I have looked at this thread a few times and wondered how to respond.

To build upon this foundation with my own thoughts.

It's irrelevant that you think she deserves better. I don't deserve the effects of the credit crunch. This logic works like, I am being the perfect partner, well actually, I am getting exactly what I want (at the moment), and therefore you should behave like this. It's moral blackmail. Who made this deal? Deals based on imposed obligation tend to go wrong. Some men are relationship doormats/puppy dogs. Tickle their tummies and get what you want. But some aren't.

When men cheat they are bastards, when women cheat or leave, it's because they were forced to by his inattention to a need. This has been the judgment on all my friends who have been divorced. The first time it happened, she cheated and left (him and the kid) for another guy, I was naively shocked when all the mutual women friends sided with her. And I have seen it time and time again.

To answer the OP's question. She is being a relationship doormat and it is boring you. I don't want to be harsh on her; she is probably a lovely girl and she doesn't deserve to be badly done to because she is happy or in love. But you are lacking a challenge and you are not ready or may never be ready to "settle" by the moral majority's standards. Others may wish to judge you on that, but I don't think judging is relevant. It is just the way it is. It's sad, but some women also get bored by the perfect relationship man, as NJ's list on men to avoid shows.

I will concede this thing called love. When you are in love, you tend to think of eternity as heaven. When you are not in love, eternity sounds like hell. You don't love her. I see your desire to be unfaithful as a way to reinforce your independence against what your moral upbringing is telling you you should do with this perfect girl to settle and marry.

You should tell her that you do not feel ready for a committed relationship, that you do not feel ready to settle and that you fear that you are being pushed into this by your cultural expectations. I think if you feel that you are more in control of your destiny within this relationship, then you won't have the same desire to destroy it.

Some people smother the people that they love. She needs to give you the emotional space from which you may let yourself love her. That's very difficult. I'd rather phone someone from a boat in the ocean and tell them that I loved them, than be asked when we're snuggled up together in bed.

 

[Riven650]

Some of you people need to chill out, sounds like you guys are only able to find 0 to 1 sex partner.

Er, like, no mate. I think you'll find that being known as a guy who doesn't cheat makes you more popular. Funnily enough the time I was most 'fighting em off' was when my wife and I had just had our son. My wife was sleeping at home and I was going round town doing some shopping with the little chap asleep in a sling on my chest. I discovered that he was a complete babe magnet. Girls who I barely knew, and some I didn't, were coming over and cooing at him and hanging on my arm to get a closer look, and hanging on my arm and giving me eye contact, and hanging on my arm... I mean, really. It was hilarious. I've never been so attractive. My wife noticed this effect whenever we went out and I was carrying the baby, and we came to the conclusion that the baby signaled that I was a fertile, settling down kind of guy: Just the kind of guy they're all programmed to want. But don't you go using this idea for your evil ends. You can't just borrow a baby in order to increase your cheating power :wink:

 

[The Dragon]

I myself prefer my Lovers to be Married.
I don't want to marry them, I don't want to break them up.
I merely want to have sex with him, pat him on the head and send him home to the little woman who will cook, clean up after him.
I have recently broken up with a married lover after he asked me to pick up his drycleaning.
WTF!!
It showed a level of complacency that made me see red.
I am a mistress NOT a wife.
Get her to pick up your fucking drycleaning.

 

[fak_et]

I fucked a married woman too, that was pretty rewarding.

 

[Principessa]

I fucked a married woman too, that was pretty rewarding.

:aargh4: I'm sick of you. :12: Truly, you have no conscience, ethics, or morals. You cannot continue to voice opinions like the one above and expect people to agree or sympathize with you. I maintain you should dump your girlfriend and get on with your lascivious debauchery. :aargh4:

 

[Drifterwood]

I myself prefer my Lovers to be Married.
I don't want to marry them, I don't want to break them up.
I merely want to have sex with him, pat him on the head and send him home to the little woman who will cook, clean up after him.

I won't deny that I am the same, (though I don't do it in my own backyard) but it is easy to be the interesting person and good fuck once in so often. I have ended up having more respect for the husbands than their wives.

Puerile comment btw Fake et.

 

[Riven650]

:aargh4: I'm sick of you. :12: Truly, you have no conscience, ethics, or morals. You cannot continue to voice opinions like the one above and expect people to agree or sympathize with you. I maintain you should dump your girlfriend and get on with your lascivious debauchery. :aargh4:

What she said! (I'm afraid it's falling on deaf ears here njqt466. But don't worry. What goes around, etc.)

 

[HazelGod]

I merely want to have sex with him, pat him on the head and send him home to the little woman who will cook, clean up after him.

If you ever patted me on the head, I'd tan your hide with a strap and give you an arsefucking you'd never forget.