Why do i get hit on by closetted gay guys, yet dont get a second look from out Gays?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_aussie8in, Jun 30, 2009.

  1. B_aussie8in

    B_aussie8in New Member

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    I'm very open about my sexlife (i'm straight) and if asked i go into great detail about how i have sex and with whom (kinda like a verbal erotica novel), i'm attractive, i'm smart, clever and wise, i'm funny and not judgemental at all. I'm not interested in gay men sexually, yet most of the gay men that hit on me aren't out yet, and gay guys that are out don't look once at me. So i was wondering why that is?
     
  2. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    Because contrary to popular belief, most gay men, particularly the out ones, aren't interested in hook-ups with straight men. Like generally attempts to find like.
     
  3. B_aussie8in

    B_aussie8in New Member

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    But why would closeted gay guys be interested in straight guys? Only reason i can see is that there trying to find a way to justify there feelings as curiousity, since if they succeed and a straight guy does sleep with they then can say look if a straight guy has gay sex , then it might be due to curiousity so maybe i' just curious or something along that nature.
     
  4. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    because gay guys who are not out find other guys who are not out more attractive because of commonality, guys that are not out would likely hide their orientation by acting straight and so it stands to reason that straight guys are more attractive purely on the possibility that they could be 'the same'...if any of that makes sense, i just read it over and am not sure i explained as good as nick8 or kotchanski may have done it (those two have a knack 4 putting things simply)
     
  5. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    You did just fine, Mitch, and saved me the typing. :biggrin1:
     
  6. MarkLondon

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    It's not just you. I think we men all get hit on here more by closetted guys than out gay men. Probably because the out men know where to go to get some in the real world. Or we've got partners.
     
  7. Dave NoCal

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    It may also be that gay men who aren't out, in this day and age, are more conflicted about their sexual orientation and find openly gay men psychologically threatening. When I was struggling with the issue, pursuing straight men was a good way of externalizing my own ambivalence.
    Dave
     
  8. popgoes7

    popgoes7 New Member

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    You ask: But why would closeted gay guys be interested in straight guys?

    Mutual assured destruction.
    A straight guy won't reveal that he was blown by or topped a closeted gay guy. And a closeted gay guy won't reveal that he fellated or bottomed for a straight guy. Both guys have an incentive to keep the secret. Therefore, they can negotiate sex secure in the knowledge that their behavior is unlikely to be revealed.

    Gay guys don't have much incentive to keep the secret (in fact, bagging a straight guy can make a great story). Therefore, straight guys are much less likely to try to negotiate sex acts with gays. Why would you negotiate with someone who has little incentive to not harm you? So, straights won't let gays blow them and won't fuck gays. And consequently, gays have learned not to waste their time trying to land straight guys. Ergo, no flirting.
     
    #8 popgoes7, Jun 30, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2009
  9. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    Maybe they can relate to you and just like you as a person.
     
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