Why do I have to be totally lame?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by NewAgeDesire, Oct 2, 2007.

  1. NewAgeDesire

    NewAgeDesire New Member

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    I hate talking to people, but I'm finding myself more alone with every month that passes. The need for companionship sucks. I'd say that I'm shy, except that I can talk to people I just seem to choose not to. I guess I'm more reserved than shy and I have a hard time letting people into my world.
    There are so many people that I'd just rather not talk to that when I find someone I'd like to get to know I can't find the words to say. I guess it's a confidence thing but I don't really know what I have to not be confident about. I'm not bad looking, I'm intelligent, I can make people laugh, I'm successful in most everything else I do... I'm just socially retarded, I don't read people well. That and people seem to have a tough time reading me. The only time I really meet people is through current friends, forced interactions, and when someone super out going forces their way into my life. I tend to find those people the most interesting in the end... Idk, I'm just kinda ranting because I don't have anyone else to tell this to.

    Feeling a little better for now.
     
  2. SpoiledPrincess

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    If you spend a lot of time alone you will find it hard to read people. The more time you spend alone the easier it is to become distanced from people. It's tough but you have to force yourself to mix, at first it'll probably seem hard but the more you mix with people the more you'll find yourself enjoying them. Are you suffering depression by any chance, people who are depressed tend to seek solitude.
     
  3. viking1

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    I know how you feel. I really don't know what to tell you. I need some answers to this myself...
     
  4. fratpack

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    Hey there, don't despair or stress out. In this day and age, it is so hard to plow through life on a daily basis that everything becomes overwhelming. But take it all in your own pace. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Without being too much of a Pollyana, every day brings something new, it is up to us as individuals on how we meet the challenges and rise or even fall, which is allowed.
    Hang in there...and heck you'll meet some good people here. Trust me.
     
  5. NewAgeDesire

    NewAgeDesire New Member

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    I don't seek solitude, I just don't put myself out there. More in a figurative sense... I'm at school surrounded by people all the time, but I'm reserved to the point that I go unnoticed. Or I get miss read as angry or sad or arrogant. It sucks having people ask you what's wrong all the time... when you're fine. It's kinda odd that I'm always asked that when I'm actually feeling content. idk... I find chatting online is all well and good but it's hard to gain anything personal from text... I've often met people online that seemed to be, and probably are, good people. Only to be let down when I finally meet them in person, finding out that they seem to have more issues than I do. For now I just try and keep busy buying my time until it is my time.
     
  6. bark

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    I'm very much like you. I have read posts like this from others that also sound very much like you and me.

    I know exactly what you mean about being misread. Once, at school, some girl I knew while talking with me said said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you mad?" I wasn't the least bit mad at all, but I often have that straight-faced look. But, I replied dryly, "Yea, fucking furious." The girl got a kind-of scared look on her face not getting my joke. Though one guy that knew me well bursted into laughter to save the situation.

    I think it is just a personallity type that we have. Sometimes I consider making an effort to force myself into a different personallity, but that just doesn't seem right to me. It seems that if I tried to force it, then I would come off as fake. Like you said about yourself, I have some good qualities just as I am that I really like. It's just too bad that hardly anyone else agrees. I don't want to give up being my natural self to be popular, so I just stay lonely.

    Again, like you, I don't really want to talk to everyone I meet. I refuse to believe that I must run my mouth babbling petty gibberish to attract good friends. I think that I actually feel better with a few close friends than being a big yakety yak socializer. The problem with this is that it takes a LONG time to meet and develop these close friends. If you move around a lot, like I have, then it's even worse. I barely even have any guy friends near me these days. I can count them on one hand, and most don't live near me anymore. Women are much more scarce. And the worst problem of all with this slow-moving, deep, introspective personality is that it's not sexually attractive to women. It does a great job of putting you into the "friend" category after some time of slowly showing a girl you're a nice guy, but that's about it. I currently have three roommates. Of the four of us, the ugliest one with the biggest MOUTH has the most beautiful girlfriend who he cheats on regularly with other hot girls. Girls love this pot-bellied punk because he's witty and mouthy jack-ass. Me, I'm the quietest one, and at least better looking than Mr. Loudmouth, pursuing a higher degree than all of them, harder working than all of them, in better shape, more generous and caring, would never dream of cheating, and all around better endowed, but the girls won't even look my way.

    I know it's hard to listen to comments that sound like something your mom would say, like "just hang in there and be yourself and one day you'll meet a wonderful person". Somehow I just don't believe that if we sit around waiting that we are going to meet many great people. But somehow, I still believe that there are people out there who will like me the way I am, so I stay the way I am, as lonely as that may be.
     
  7. slayerj

    slayerj New Member

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    I also know exactly what you two are saying, I'm the same way.

    I don't really like talking to people myself, and letting people into my world, but I can actually make friends fast most times, my easy-going nature draws people to me I guess. I currently have no friends, a few people at work I could probably hang with, but I'd more than anything call them associates. I've always felt like I got ignored alot, to the point where I don't even wanna try to converse with people anymore.

    Though it's not too bad, I actually like being by myself; mom is scared when I move out in January, I'll really be distant from anyone, and she's probably right. But it's strange, I'm short, not gregarious or ostentatious, but it seems wherever I go, it's all eyes on me. In reality, no one even notices me.

    I know I'm destined to be alone, so it doesn't bother me too much, but a little female affection wouldn't hurt. Anyway, I know where your coming from; you're not alone!
     
  8. dcwrestlefan

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    reading between the lines, it sounds like you have a warm heart. could be wrong. but that is my number one priority when i come upon someone and want to make them a friend. some people are assholes. some are not. you have to give them a chance. just socialize more - you'll end up meeting peeps eventually that make you smile. it is all about chemistry.

    best wishes.
     
  9. NewAgeDesire

    NewAgeDesire New Member

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    Uggg yea it seems as if bark and I are one in the same. He expressed it very well. I too can't stand small talk, and don't want to be known as the obnoxious know it all... making sure I talk to every one about things that nobody really wants to talk about. I'd say that guy is my arch enemy. My best friend I've known since first grade, and most of my other friends I've met threw him. The other two people I can really count on pretty much forced themselves into my life. Well glad to know I'm not the only lonely one.
     
  10. Guy-jin

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    I think you're right about both of those things.

    Good luck to you.
     
  11. VeeP

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    Heh, you count me in on this. Add feeling as if nobody really cares to hear you blather about yourself, which in turn gets you accused of being 'aloof'. :shrug:

    I've also been called 'intimidating', which is the complete opposite of how I really am. :headache:
     
  12. Divine1

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    Wow....I so appreciate everyone's honesty here.
    I have always been pretty extraverted, but when I 1st got into my large high school from a private school, I went through a period of time of solitude. It was during this time, that I became very introspective and learned much about myself. I realized that I am a confident, rather together, happy and outgoing person. My work and my life are very OUTWARD and deeply involved with lots of people, but when I am faced with my greatest challenges, I prefer to spent some alone time and look inwards for answers.

    My advice is....if you are comfortable and happy in solitute....relish it and don't be something that you aren't. If you want something different, take baby steps to have mini successes....until you are more comfortable being intimate with others. Focus on your strenghts...ask lots of questions and then LISTEN. People love talking about themselves and there are so few excellent listeners.

    Good luck....I wish you all well.
    Thank you again for sharing such intimate sides of yourself!
     
  13. rocck333

    rocck333 New Member

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    I admire you. I am gay. Older guy just working and taking care of people I love. I am good looking and have friends that want to entertain and be with me. I like being alone. Best sex I have ever had is with myself. I wonder what will become of me.
     
  14. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    True wisdom on LPSG!
     
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