why do jerks and bad asses get all

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by B_Marius567, May 14, 2006.

  1. B_Marius567

    B_Marius567 New Member

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    Why do jerks and bad asses get all the woman? Im a nice guy so I never get any women. I hear about guys hitting there there wifes and wonder what Im doing wrong :( women most like that sines no women want a nice guy.
     
  2. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    A "bad boy" doesn't turn me on one bit,my fiance is a groomed,passive metrosexual,he's not dominant at all,when I do something that upsets or bothers him he'll usually just ignore me,rather than beat me up,which I love :wink: Even when I'm on a PMS fueled rampage he'll try to calm the situation by offering to give me a back rub and cuddle with me for a little while:tongue: I love sweet,gentle natured guys and I think most women love them too.
    I think the main reason many women get roped into abusive relationships is because they have self esteem issues,and these asshole guys brainwash them to believe that they can't get anyone else,which is a load of bullshit for sure:confused: I believe that you have to have self confidance and believe in who you are in order to build a lasting,meaningful relationship,I have friends of mine who have survived domestic violence,and they all told me the same thing,the guys said that they coulden't get anyone else,one of my friends has two kids and she recently left her abusive boyfriend,he told her that no man on earth would want a woman with two kids:confused: He also called her a fat cow:confused: You've got to love yourself before you can love anyone else:smile:
     
  3. tallguypns

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    I think the reason you dont get anyone is in your screen name. SHY. Everyone likes an outgoing confident person.
     
  4. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Yah, I am gonna second what Tallguy said. I know shy guys, and I know confident guys. The confident ones get all the "tail" because they exude an aura of sexuality and confidence. There is nothing wrong with being shy, but there is a time and place for it buddy.

    May I make a suggestion? Try making small talk with people on the bus, train, or in a supermarket or mall. Just practice talking with people, and your shyness will overcome itself.:biggrin1:
     
  5. SXIGRL

    SXIGRL New Member

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    That is a great question! I have always been attracted to the bad guys. Not physically abusive, although I BTDT, too. I think - for me - it has something to do with my first sexual experience(s).
    I can only guess...
     
  6. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    I definately believe if you have a load of self assurance and confidance(plus a kick ass personality)you can turn on a lot of people:tongue: :smile:
     
  7. B_IanTheTall

    B_IanTheTall New Member

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    There is a difference between being a "nice guy" and being a "meek guy."
     
  8. BigPoppaFury

    BigPoppaFury Member

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    I don't think I'm a jerk or a badass. I'm pretty quiet too and can sometimes find myself uncomfortable in certain everyday social situations. I'm no Brad Pitt either. However I do have confidence, I do accept my faults and I've learned not to pick holes in myself because of them. It's amazing how easy it is to just accept the things that make you the person you are and realise that it really isn't all that bad. Doesn't mean I don't try and change those things still, just that while they're there I don't beat myself up about it.

    As soon as you realise you're really not so bad, it doesn't matter if you're quiet, shy, mild mannered. Because when a girl talks to you she'll see the natural confidence of someone who is happy with themself. From then on it gets easier and easier. Good luck!
     
  9. Gisella

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    Well i do confess that i like kick ass men (but not jerk men bad asses at all...)

    Of course i like nice strong family man! Responsable, respectfull, social consciente, not selfcenter and etc

    :wink:
     
  10. invisibleman

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    Maybe you are looking for the women who are looking for those types of guys. You are attracted to those type of who like fucked up men. Be yourself and look for a woman who will like you for you. Don't ever feel that rejection is a curse...more than often those rejections are blessings in disguise. Clean your place (your crib). Fresh bed linens. Clean your bathroom--big time. Wash those dishes. Aromatherapy candles and incense. Invest in some nice instrumental music (Antonio Carlos Jobim not Yma Sumac unless you want Yetis humping your lawn furniture.) Clean yourself up. Bath and Body Works for Men (Woodland). Slap on some really nice smelling cologne (but not too much). I don't mean Brut 33 by Faberge (You aren't going for the Sasquaches and Wookies now). Fine Department Store-type spritzers, we're talkin' about here. Buy some Armani Black Code. Or Spark for Men by Liz Claiborne. These colognes are great. Remember not too much...
    Dress in some nice clean clothes for your body type. Comfort and Color coordination.
    Go to clubs and talk with women as friends. Be friends. Ask questions. Be sincere. (Don't ever talk about anything about their personal relationships (the ex's) or finances or jobs. If they want to ask you about your personal relationships, finances, and/or job situation, STOP talking, RUN, don't walk. If these women want these things from you, they should be dating accountants, bankers, financiers, and joint-venture capitalists not you.) Ask them about their favorite things. Hobbies.
    Something fun.
    If you want love, talk with women as friends first. Tread slowly. If you want sex, ask her about it. Be man enough for any answer you get from her. There are other avenues for sex anyway. I think that you use your imagination for that. What you think is sexy may not be sexy to her. You both should really be talking awhile if you've ready to talk about sex. Hollywood makes things simple. Real people. Real love. Real sex. Takes time. Sorry. If you rush through, you will miss a lot. When people force things, "fight or flight"--most of the time flight. So tread slowly.
    Allow each other to be yourselves. Nobody is perfect. If she don't like you, fine--there's some other girl out there wanting you and waiting for you.
     
  11. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    I coulden't agree more,a mature,responsible man with an actual career and education,plus respect for me,my family and his family is my dream man! I guess that's why I chose my darling fiance:wink: He is all of that,plus some!:tongue:
     
  12. rob_just_rob

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    It took me a while to figure this out, too.

    It's not that women don't like nice guys or like assholes - the deal is that women like confident guys, and don't like guys who aren't confident.

    Doesn't matter so much if he turns out to be an asshole later - the confidence gets his foot in the door.
     
  13. biguyinsocal

    biguyinsocal New Member

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    Assuming she's looking for a relationship and not just a fling with a jerk, this is not as big a problem as it appears to be. These women are letting you know that they aren't your type, which saves you the trouble of finding out how undateworthy they are.
     
  14. SXIGRL

    SXIGRL New Member

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    Invisible Man - you are one smart guy! :cool:
     
  15. nick22ca

    nick22ca Member

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    I think it's the opposite of smart (take a guess). Self-indulgence at its best, to be sure. But the detail that went into it...knowing that there are people out there who have become the bottom line on such details, amid other problems in the world. Frightening.
     
  16. gg42

    gg42 New Member

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    Genes program females to seek Alpha males. Males are programmed to seek fertile (young, healthy looking) females. So you looking for hot babes is the same as them looking for Alpha males. Alas, there is no good way for females to tell alpha males in modern society (it's easy if you're a doe, just smell the pee:smile: . If you're another species, look for the male that beats the crap out of the other males.) So impersonating an alpha male by being a jerk works sometimes - females have no way to tell if you really beat the crap out of other males or just say you do! That's not you, you miss out on non perceptive women, who cares? You will get a good one - just be assertive but not an asshole! Being a jerk gets you into a woman's bed, but being a good lover keeps you there.

    http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml
     
  17. nick22ca

    nick22ca Member

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    Genetically programmed, eh?
     
  18. Lordpendragon

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    I'm beginning to think that the sexual liberation of the 60's 70's and 80's bypassed large parts of the U.S.
     
  19. rob_just_rob

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    Good grief... you're only beginning to think that?
     
  20. Lordpendragon

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    You're right - but I just felt like saying it. :smile:
     
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