why do jerks and bad asses get all

[GBB]

In one sentence: I like confidence, but I dislike egomaniacs/assholes and guys who are so aloof and smug they think nobody can keep up with them.

I love the quiet, determined confidence. Guys bearing it attract me almost magically, I think it's wonderful to see someone so rested and settled. Definitely it's more attractive than the drama kings who cause a big racket around themselves wherever they go. My experience is that behind their masquerade, they aren't half the man they pretend to be, and there's definitely a lot of man needed to attract me. Not only between the legs.

However, the dislike comes again if the "quiet confidence" turns into this semi-autistic form, where guys become indifferent towards their surrounding.

To boil that down to an even simpler formula:

Self esteem is sexy.

For both men and women.

 

[invisibleman]

That is the kind of thinking that leads to the most misguided of advice. "You always have to optimistic and positive"? And you became the bottom line on how to approach life, when? I'm sure different situations require different approaches. Do you now understand what I meant by pretense?

You don't need to tell me what I thought. I didn't give any advice precisely for the reasons stated above. I think that you shouldn't give advice because, as you proved to me and others, it is inflated, absolute, and wrong.

Of course I think you're not intelligent, but it should make you feel better that neither is anyone else. Both in relative and absolute terms, no human is intelligent.

That is the limit of the personal attacks I'm going to do on this thread. If you want to continue being a spaz, be my guest. You could also PM me.

Like I said before, your problem with the advice I gave--isn't the topic of this thread. I think that you are dead wrong about your assumptions on intelligences of people. Everybody has some degree of intelligence. Human beings aren't perfect but we are smart in varying degrees.

You can think what you want about my intelligence.

Nick, Why would I need to PM you for?

 

[Max]

It's risky to make generalisations; but my guess is that women, like men, vary enormously in the types of people they are attracted to. Fortunately.

But I think in general there is no problem in being a nice guy, but every problem in boring predictability.

No need for dominating aggressive behaviour, but every reason to keep one step ahead. Never let her think she's got you all worked out, or indeed, that she is the only thing in your life (even if perhaps you think she is). A well rounded man with a crowded diary etc. etc. who keeps her guessing a bit will keep her interest piqued a lot longer than someone who never lets her alone.

 

[gg42]

It's risky to make generalisations; but my guess is that women, like men, vary enormously in the types of people they are attracted to. Fortunately.

But I think in general there is no problem in being a nice guy, but every problem in boring predictability.

No need for dominating aggressive behaviour, but every reason to keep one step ahead. Never let her think she's got you all worked out, or indeed, that she is the only thing in your life (even if perhaps you think she is). A well rounded man with a crowded diary etc. etc. who keeps her guessing a bit will keep her interest piqued a lot longer than someone who never lets her alone.

"In one sentence: I like confidence, but I dislike egomaniacs/assholes and guys who are so aloof and smug they think nobody can keep up with them.

I love the quiet, determined confidence. Guys bearing it attract me almost magically, I think it's wonderful to see someone so rested and settled. Definitely it's more attractive than the drama kings who cause a big racket around themselves wherever they go. My experience is that behind their masquerade, they aren't half the man they pretend to be, and there's definitely a lot of man needed to attract me. Not only between the legs.

However, the dislike comes again if the "quiet confidence" turns into this semi-autistic form, where guys become indifferent towards their surrounding"


I'm so old, I remember when dating was as simple as whether you liked the other person and thought he/she was cute....:smile:

So how do you get more than one quote box in a reply?

 

[rob_just_rob]

The worse kind of jerks & bad asses for me are the bitter ones...man, is so annoying a man that is sticked in bitter waters and spills it wherever they go...they have to get over it soon because is not pleasant at all....

All of us at some point get hurt be we have to heal at somepoint...

I'm working on it. :frown1:

 

[rob_just_rob]

I think it's the opposite of smart (take a guess). Self-indulgence at its best, to be sure. But the detail that went into it...knowing that there are people out there who have become the bottom line on such details, amid other problems in the world. Frightening.

This seems totally uncalled for. The original poster solicited advice; you offer none, but criticize others. What's the problem?

 

[Lordpendragon]

Why do jerks and bad asses get all the woman? Im a nice guy so I never get any women. I hear about guys hitting there there wifes and wonder what Im doing wrong women most like that sines no women want a nice guy.

1/ Who is the judge of who is or isn't a bad ass jerk?

2/ Who says they "get" all the women?

3/ Who says you're a nice guy?

4/ What has domestic violence got to do with your lack of success with women?

5/ How do you know what all womankind wants?

6/ What does "nice guy" mean?

I am not trying to flame you, just question all your presumptions which are putting you in this dark place which you probably don't need to be in. Get out and enjoy yourself and stop worrying about everyone else.

 

[Matthew]

This seems totally uncalled for. The original poster solicited advice; you offer none, but criticize others. What's the problem?

I wonder if he gets all the chicks?

 

[rob_just_rob]

I wonder if he gets all the chicks?

:wink: I wondered if we were witnessing the jerk/badass demonstration, too.

 

[nick22ca]

This seems totally uncalled for. The original poster solicited advice; you offer none, but criticize others. What's the problem?

Well then, I suppose the rebuttle by that poster against me would also be uncalled for. Please be consistent.

The problem is with the advice. I obviously have as much right to criticize his advice as he has to give it. In fact, I gave advice in the form of, "whatever you do, don't listen to that guy."

Some people would define shallow and superficial advice as being an asshole quality, or pretense in general as being an asshole quality. So to answer your question, of course I get all the chicks, especially the grounded ones.

 

[invisibleman]

I'm so old, I remember when dating was as simple as whether you liked the other person and thought he/she was cute..."

I hear you loud and clear. I agree. Sophisticated world breeds sophisticated and complicated rules.

 

[SXIGRL]

I am glad that you didn't think that I was being "self indulgent". I was being honest in what I was saying regarding HungShyMan's dilemma. I didn't have any ulterior motives. I was trying to help the guy out. If I went into detail, it was for clarification. Sometimes I have to write in detail so people can really understand where I am coming from. :smile:

~~~~~~~~~
I didn't, and still don't think it was. I thought about it and realized that tons of books have been written on this very topic (how to get a girl, which IS the topic, isn't it?) Are the authors of them being "self-indulgent"? Well, if making money is self-indulgent then, ya. But I think if they didn't have anything pertanent to say they would not make much of that. I respect everyone's opinion, agree or disagree, and TRY to take everyone at face value - trust until I am given a reason not to, KWIM? Is that naive, I guess so, but it is better than being hard-hearted, IMO.
Anyway - I don't know any of you guys really, and it just isn't in my nature to judge, so I'll leave it at that. :smile:

**Please excuse my spelling, it is not my forte.**

 

[invisibleman]

The problem is with the advice. I obviously have as much right to criticize his advice as he has to give it. In fact, I gave advice in the form of, "whatever you do, don't listen to that guy."

So, in essence without repeating myself, I was saying that HungShyMan could clean up his crib. He could clean himself up and smell nice. Look nice and groomed. Talk to women. Be friends with women. Avoid volatile areas in conversation. Talk about what each others hobbies are. Respect each other.
What kind of women wouldn't want a man to smell nice and looking good; have a clean home or apartment, feel like they aren't put on edge by "volatile areas" of conversation; and feel like they are being respected?

So, Nick thinks HungShyMan should ignore me. Based on sage Nick's opinion--he thinks that women like being brought to ratty apartments and homes. Places that smell like 3- Day old Mann Butt. You know women REALLY dig men who smell like 3-Day old Mann Butt (sarcasm) and who showers with Brut 33 (double sarcasm--with the exception of Sade--she LOVES her men to reek of that sh*t (based on an interview I once read. Wonder what happened to her career? Couldn't get a record deal because of her entourage of men smelling horrible?). Women's panties just melt off of their torsos for men who look like Val Kilmer's Prehistoric Double Great Granddad looking Caveman like in those GEICO Direct commercials. Men should really get unkempt and ungroomed like that (sarcasm).Women don't really like talking about things they like to do outside of their working job like hobbies (sarcasm).

Yeah, Nick, we all know you get the chicks but that's not the topic of this thread. Yeah, nobody on here has to use my advice.

 

[Gisella]

I'm working on it. :frown1:

:kiss:

:tongue:

Rob do u ? was not talking to you but just thinking about this situation...

Some people have issues that need to be dealt with for sure because in one way or another it shows bitterness and hurt in so many different ways...

 

[Gisella]

So, in essence without repeating myself, I was saying that HungShyMan could clean up his crib. He could clean himself up and smell nice. Look nice and groomed. Talk to women. Be friends with women. Avoid volatile areas in conversation. Talk about what each others hobbies are. Respect each other.
What kind of women wouldn't want a man to smell nice and looking good; have a clean home or apartment, feel like they aren't put on edge by "volatile areas" of conversation; and feel like they are being respected?

So, Nick thinks HungShyMan should ignore me. Based on sage Nick's opinion--he thinks that women like being brought to ratty apartments and homes. Places that smell like 3- Day old Mann Butt. You know women REALLY dig men who smell like 3-Day old Mann Butt (sarcasm) and who showers with Brut 33 (double sarcasm--with the exception of Sade--she LOVES her men to reek of that sh*t (based on an interview I once read. Wonder what happened to her career? Couldn't get a record deal because of her entourage of men smelling horrible?). Women's panties just melt off of their torsos for men who look like Val Kilmer's Prehistoric Double Great Granddad looking Caveman like in those GEICO Direct commercials. Men should really get unkempt and ungroomed like that (sarcasm).Women don't really like talking about things they like to do outside of their working job like hobbies (sarcasm).

Yeah, Nick, we all know you get the chicks but that's not the topic of this thread. Yeah, nobody on here has to use my advice.

Yep...

Dont understand all the drama is about...

Im my view a man who cleans up his crib and himself knowing that i will come over is a good thing :biggrin1: Many of us are desorganized but clean and higienic...

School days for me are over dont find live as a student in caos very cool anymore...:tongue:

 

[ftredhead]

I've not read the whole thread so if it's been said apologies....

I think it has less to do with anything they 'exude' and more to do with they just ask. I went through a time when I was very shy when it came to women, even SCARED. I started working at a coffee shop in a college town and there were all of these amazing girls coming in. So I started asking. Sometimes completely cold. Just "Hi,My name is would you like to..." Though most of the time I had chumed the waters a bit. I can count the no's I got on one hand and thats not bad considering the number I asked. Of course after about he second date with alot of these girls I wanted to jump out of a moving car that or push them out. Selection plays a big part. Picking the right person and BEING the right person. Just my experience.

 

[ftredhead]

Besides how shy could you be? You posted your penis on a PUBLIC website! If all the talk on here about men with big penises having more confidence is true you should have it in spades! Just ask, ASK, ASK!!!!!! .... You have not because you ask not. When they say no (and they will) Ask someone else or ask again. As confidence goes you have it just by virtue of the fact that you've drawn a line between yourself and these so called jerks. You just have to get it out into the open. Don't let fear beat down your belief.

 

[nick22ca]

So, in essence without repeating myself, I was saying that HungShyMan could clean up his crib. He could clean himself up and smell nice. Look nice and groomed. Talk to women. Be friends with women. Avoid volatile areas in conversation. Talk about what each others hobbies are. Respect each other.
What kind of women wouldn't want a man to smell nice and looking good; have a clean home or apartment, feel like they aren't put on edge by "volatile areas" of conversation; and feel like they are being respected?

So, Nick thinks HungShyMan should ignore me. Based on sage Nick's opinion--he thinks that women like being brought to ratty apartments and homes. Places that smell like 3- Day old Mann Butt. You know women REALLY dig men who smell like 3-Day old Mann Butt (sarcasm) and who showers with Brut 33 (double sarcasm--with the exception of Sade--she LOVES her men to reek of that sh*t (based on an interview I once read. Wonder what happened to her career? Couldn't get a record deal because of her entourage of men smelling horrible?). Women's panties just melt off of their torsos for men who look like Val Kilmer's Prehistoric Double Great Granddad looking Caveman like in those GEICO Direct commercials. Men should really get unkempt and ungroomed like that (sarcasm).Women don't really like talking about things they like to do outside of their working job like hobbies (sarcasm).

Yeah, Nick, we all know you get the chicks but that's not the topic of this thread. Yeah, nobody on here has to use my advice.

I never said to not be clean, I said to reject your advice. There are many alternatives to your advice besides "smelling like 3-Day old mann butt" (seriously, wtf?). And yes, these alternatives include being clean, without the bullshit.

 

[rob_just_rob]

Well then, I suppose the rebuttle by that poster against me would also be uncalled for. Please be consistent.

No, I think that anyone who is attacked is entitled to a rebuttal. My comment is perfectly consistent with most established rules of debate, editorial policy of most major newspapers, and my own past conduct.

The problem is with the advice. I obviously have as much right to criticize his advice as he has to give it. In fact, I gave advice in the form of, "whatever you do, don't listen to that guy."

Perhaps, but you couched your 'advice' in the form of a personal attack. You do have the right to criticize, but your mode of doing so was what I felt was uncalled for.

Some people would define shallow and superficial advice as being an asshole quality, or pretense in general as being an asshole quality. So to answer your question, of course I get all the chicks, especially the grounded ones.

That wasn't my question.

 

[bif9x65]

I recommend datingtips@doubleyourdating.com just subscribing to his newsletter provides a wealth on info on this topic and also about psychology in general. Even though I am not dating (married) I have found his observations about male-female courting and relationships very educational.