Why do men do it?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, May 13, 2007.

  1. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Do guys get a special thrill, or perhaps an endorphin rush similar to a 'runners high' when they string a woman along or worse yet, a number of women along? Why do you do this? Is it really just to be mean?

    I shouldn't be surprised when this happens at my age; but it's always like being sucker punched. The wind just comes right out of my lungs.

    I'm just a small town Jersey girl, so excuse my naivete.
     
  2. Jimbopete1

    Jimbopete1 New Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2007
    Messages:
    70
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NC
    I've run across a couple guys in my short life who have done a similar thing. "Players" who like to date multiple women at the same time. The only thing that I can see is that maybe they want to have backups, or maybe they're just into having options. It's cruel to the women, and any guy who does that is an ass.
     
  3. D_Cunningham Cumshipper

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2006
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think you could open this up to both sexes as women have been known to do this on occassion as well. . .
     
  4. Jeffin90620

    Jeffin90620 New Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southern California
    In a word, yes.

    It is not to be cruel. In our society, a man's success is gauged by how many women want him. Mick Jagger is not a good looking man, but because he is successful (rich, talented and famous), literally thousands of women have volunteered sex to him. In 1968, Henry Kissinger was a short, paunchy middle-aged bachelor with a funny accent and few dating prospects. In 1969, he was the most powerful unmarried man in the US government and dating actresses (Jill St. John, Candice Bergen & Persis Khambatta come to mind). When he finally married, it was to a 6' blonde millionaire heiress.

    While most men will strive for success and reap the rewards, some will simply go for the trappings of success.
     
  5. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    2,739
    Likes Received:
    0
    So what's the explanation when women do the same thing?
     
  6. SassySpy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,277
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Seattle USA,

    Does it matter really.....why? they do because they can....... they can because we let them..........:mad:
     
  7. D_Cunningham Cumshipper

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2006
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm not sure why you are quoting these two posts specifically because you are trying to do one of two things:
    (1) Agree that this works both ways in which case you probably don't need to quote these posts.
    (2) Try to argue that it's somehow worse when men do it, which doesn't make any sense.

    I would hope it is the former, but I'm not sure.
     
  8. No_Strings

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,100
    Likes Received:
    6
    Well we can't just play videogames and football everyday. :biggrin1:



    I think the answer is that men don't do this :wink:
     
  9. 50%more

    50%more New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2006
    Messages:
    363
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    So Fla
    Did he make some sort of committment to you? If he did and he broke it that tells that tells what kind of person he is. I have had several people in my life that I no longer consider friends because of their lack of character. It is like the scene in "A Bronx Tale" where Sonny tells the young kid that if he only lost $20 to see what kind of character his so-called friend had he got off cheap.
     
  10. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,037
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nowhere near you
    The moral of the story: People suck.
     
  11. SassySpy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,277
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Seattle USA,
    you sound like an analytical psychologist. yes, both genders are guilty and for the same reasons. and I incorrectly flagged the wrong post to quote, Dr Freud. :smile:
     
  12. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    I think that's the perfect answer! I've had guys do this to me too. It's stupid, really.
     
  13. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    Best answer.

    You are wise beyond your years, Grasshopper.
     
  14. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    Jinx!
     
  15. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Does this mean I can't talk until you say my name or something?
     
  16. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    Apparently not.
    My cousin told me the magic word to reverse it was Shakespeare.
    She may well have made that up.
     
  17. tiff86

    tiff86 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2006
    Messages:
    537
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    California
    Yeah it sucks. When I was reading this though what I was thinking is I know girls who do this too, like stringing along a guy they sorta like just in case the guy they really like doesn't come around. Maybe it's the same thing w/guys?
     
  18. Blocko

    Blocko Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Messages:
    703
    Likes Received:
    0
    Answer in one word for why both sexes do this; Validation
     
  19. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,430
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,485
    Location:
    United States
    I have a friend who is supposedly one of thoge guys. He never strung me along though. We had sex when I was single, and stopped when I found someone I wanted to be serious with. He never made any promises to me at all. I remember the first night I spent with him he held me and told me a lot of secrets. I felt really close to him. But then he made it clear:

    "I'm not the one you fall in love with becasue I'm too young to get married. I already told you I have two sons, and their mothers get child-support straight from my check. The courts can only take so much from me, so if a girl is looking for the dude with the good job to attach a kid to, I'm not the one. She can't get much from me, and she'd only be taking away from my existing children and their mothers. Fuck shit up for everybody. So don't get this twisted. I really like you, I want to fuck you for a long time. I do not want to be your man."

    Now he's charming as hell, and fun to be with (and good in bed) so naturally I developed a crush on him. But he continued to make it clear: "I do not want to be your man." The crush subsided as crushes do, and we still talk on the phone from time to time. He's a real friend, not just a fuck buddy, which is what we both wanted. But there's always drama in his life. There's always some crazy woman or other who is losing her shit over him. I asked him if he gives every woman the same speech. He says he does. I can't swear he does, but I can't see any reason to lie either.

    Women buy him all sorts of things to try to win his affection: Cars, jewels, furs you name it! I mean the man is fine as hell, but DAMN"! A car? With a $10,000 entertainment system? And spinners? Come on. But women give him things like that all the time.

    I asked him how he inspired this, and why there was so much drama. He said,

    "I say, 'I don't love you. I don't want to be with you forever.' but some women hear 'I love you very much. I want to be with you forever.' and go crazy when faced with the truth. They feel like they've been wasting their time. And the truth is, maybe they are."
     
  20. Love-it

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern California
    I was guilty of this once, we had only been married a few years when I was the US Forest Service leader of a Sierra Club volunteer trail maintenance group, I had the Forest Service Uniform, a shirt with badge and patches and this younger woman was taken with the great outdoors and my "uniform"? I don't know, but she was the only other woman who had showed an interest in me besides my wife and I didn't know how to handle it. I did lead her on in that I didn't tell her I was married, we sat by the fire a few nights and talked quite a bit, no kissing, petting or sex but she was disappointed when I told her I was married. This may be pretty tame compared to many other tales but the reason I led her on was that I had so little experience with the opposite sex finding me "desirable".

    My apologies.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted