Why do men do it?

ClaireTalon

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At one point it came to my attention that a lot of teenage guys and girls run around in what I call water groups. You know, two girls plus a guy, like H2O, kinda. And most of the time the guy wasn't that dazzling that one would suspect the girls are fighting over him, or competing for his attention.

Probably it's not guys stringing girls with them, but the girls are chaperoning each other? Or they take their girlfriends with them because it makes them feel safer?
 

D_Aston Asstonne

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In a word, yes.

It is not to be cruel. In our society, a man's success is gauged by how many women want him. Mick Jagger is not a good looking man, but because he is successful (rich, talented and famous), literally thousands of women have volunteered sex to him. In 1968, Henry Kissinger was a short, paunchy middle-aged bachelor with a funny accent and few dating prospects. In 1969, he was the most powerful unmarried man in the US government and dating actresses (Jill St. John, Candice Bergen & Persis Khambatta come to mind). When he finally married, it was to a 6' blonde millionaire heiress.

While most men will strive for success and reap the rewards, some will simply go for the trappings of success.
exactly.many women and men arent after anything more than a good time.i myself have been involved with as many as 7 ladies,but they ALL KNEW IT WAS ALL IN FUN!some were married and bored,others single and lonely,others middle aged and horny as hell.but they ALL KNEW OF MY INVOLVEMENT WITH OTHER WOMEN!when a guy plays with a ladies emotions by telling her she's the only one then,he's caught with another probably leading her on also,he needs his balls removed with catfish skinners.:mad:
 

naughty

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I have another thought. THough we may not like it, the process of dating is one of elimination. One of the problems though is when there is an inequity in attachment or information is not being supplied to all parties involved. OFten people who do not consider themselves to be players may be dating more than one person to see which will ultimately be the right person for them. There are sometimes cases where people back track because they really have not gotten someone out of their system. It usually is not a good thing for the bomerang person in their life but it happens quite often. It is hard not to date or even talk to someone we like without attaching perhaps more significance to it than we ought but it happens all the time.
 

SpoiledPrincess

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Sometimes people can think a commitment has been made when it hasn't - they take going out for a meal, for a drink, as an unspoken agreement you're their gf/bf. I had a long term friend who I'd always gone out for a drink with occasionally, when I split with my last long term bf we carried on going out for a drink and he got it into his head that I was his gf despite the fact that we'd never had sex (although I did accidentally straddle his face when I was drunk once) I never made any verbal or any other type of agreement with him that we were an item, but he took it that we were and got quite uppity when I told him we weren't. Sometimes if you don't actually say 'we're just mates' people can assume in the absence of any verbalisation to the contrary that you're their partner.
 

dreamer20

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my theory-

When out cocks get hard- we can do really stupid , horrible, things- rape, murder assault.

Sorry I must disagree with this statement. It wrongly states the normal, functional erections of men lead to rape, murder and assault. The OP is not about a violent type of man, but one who likes sexual intimacy with many women and is deceitful to achieve this objective.
 

naughty

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It is so easy to be swept along in the moment when we enjoy someone's company. I suppose that is why I have heard the expression "guarding ones heart". Often when we so badly want something to be we run through stop signs or even ignore signals that in an ordinary situation or that someone not involved would see clearly. We think we can will it to be. IT is so hard to wait and to accept that what we may think is perfect someone else may not. I am saying these things being subject to the same murmurs of the heart that anyone else might have who truly wishes one day to find his or her soul mate and ultimate life partner. I too am a hopelessly romantic girly girl. Movies books tv and music do not help the situation at all. It lulls us into a warm and fuzzy feeling that often ends up bumping into the cold and hurtful reality of things as they are and not as we wish them to be.
 

invisibleman

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they string a woman along or worse yet, a number of women along? Why do you do this? Is it really just to be mean?

I shouldn't be surprised when this happens at my age; but it's always like being sucker punched. The wind just comes right out of my lungs.


Sometimes, I think that it could be a number of factors.

1. Your choice in partners.

2. The manner in how you get the partners.

3. Miscommunication. Both are not on the same page. One is thinking relationship. The other was thinking, sexual fling.

4. Maybe you should consider that a blessing. You don't need anybody you can't depend on.

5. People do have their issues.

6. Maybe people on the dating scene are looking for the next best thing.


I can believe that both men and women can be duped and/or play the duper. Maybe, there is a certain disposablity. That people aren't dependable.


A fact is none of us has control over any man or woman. We do have control over how our emotions and our actions. If the people you love aren't doing you right, find better partners that will. Stop choosing those fuckups.
 

MidwestGal

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Do guys get a special thrill, or perhaps an endorphin rush similar to a 'runners high' when they string a woman along or worse yet, a number of women along? Why do you do this? Is it really just to be mean?

I shouldn't be surprised when this happens at my age; but it's always like being sucker punched. The wind just comes right out of my lungs.

I'm just a small town Jersey girl, so excuse my naivete.

I hate men who just string you along, that said a woman should never do that to a man as well. I think that people should have more respect to one another and their feelings. i see no purpose in being intentionally cruel to someone else especially when it comes to relationships. If it's not working, let the other party know that it's not working.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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Who knows why anybody male or female mistreats people. My cousin would date a guy long enough to get his highschool ring, and then she'd dump him. She'd keep his ring too. She used to take out a whole collection of them, and smile while looking at them. Some people are just plain mean.
 

debeli

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Do guys get a special thrill, or perhaps an endorphin rush similar to a 'runners high' when they string a woman along or worse yet, a number of women along? Why do you do this? Is it really just to be mean?

I shouldn't be surprised when this happens at my age; but it's always like being sucker punched. The wind just comes right out of my lungs.

I'm just a small town Jersey girl, so excuse my naivete.

Why don't you provide special thrill and endorphin rush for him yourself so he won't have any left for other woman :smile:
 

EyeJustDontKnow

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Do guys get a special thrill, or perhaps an endorphin rush similar to a 'runners high' when they string a woman along or worse yet, a number of women along? Why do you do this? Is it really just to be mean?

I shouldn't be surprised when this happens at my age; but it's always like being sucker punched. The wind just comes right out of my lungs.

I'm just a small town Jersey girl, so excuse my naivete.

I honestly don't know. I have an "acquaintance" (would not call him a friend anymore) that acts like this all the time. Him and I went downtown one night with his then girlfriend (and I use the term loosely). He ended up ditching her there and took off with another one. I was pretty ticked about the whole thing.

Than some time later, I ran into him again and he asks to borrow my phone because his is dead. He texts the one from the previous story that he ran off with. She calls on my phone and asks to talk to him, I give him the phone and he hangs up. I no longer associate with this twat.

It's pretty disturbing behavior if you ask me; I really don't get it either. And if it makes you feel any better, not all men are like this. :redface:
 

stevedelaney

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I have observed a large number of couples go through these kinds of accusations. Most of the time, the woman is at fault. The man has been perfectly straightforward, making it clear that he is not moving toward a long-term commitment, or that he is not dating one woman exclusively, or that he cannot be rushed into deeper intimacy. Yet the woman spends her days discussing this with her girlfriends, imagining hidden meanings in his everyday conversation and actions, and daydreaming until she has convinced herself that he "really" means something in line with her own desires. Then when he wants to break it off, or take it slower, she screams he has "led her on".

Why can't women admit that what they really want is to be able to call the shots, to decide the nature of their relationships with men? Why can't they say they want to be in control, so that only THEY can decide to dump or keep a guy? Why can't they admit they feel the pain and social embarrassment of breakups, so they want to manipulate the situation so it always seems to be his fault? Why won't they face their own self-centeredness?
 

007baby

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I have observed a large number of couples go through these kinds of accusations. Most of the time, the woman is at fault. The man has been perfectly straightforward, making it clear that he is not moving toward a long-term commitment, or that he is not dating one woman exclusively, or that he cannot be rushed into deeper intimacy. Yet the woman spends her days discussing this with her girlfriends, imagining hidden meanings in his everyday conversation and actions, and daydreaming until she has convinced herself that he "really" means something in line with her own desires. Then when he wants to break it off, or take it slower, she screams he has "led her on".

Why can't women admit that what they really want is to be able to call the shots, to decide the nature of their relationships with men? Why can't they say they want to be in control, so that only THEY can decide to dump or keep a guy? Why can't they admit they feel the pain and social embarrassment of breakups, so they want to manipulate the situation so it always seems to be his fault? Why won't they face their own self-centeredness?

Wow, well said, BUT, this is not a matter of fact across the board about women in general OR men... it's a about a good portion of society (both men and women) that have individual spiritual and emotional growth problems piling up behind them like a mile long train because they won't turn around to face their demons in the mirror, and so as time passes by in their life and their issues accumulate behind them the harder it is to stop, turn around and give yourself the opportunity to grow and soul search for a while until you're ready to STOP being self-centered and selfish, and instead, ready and WILLING to love BACK and/or NOT string somebody along for your selfish reasons but respectfully and gracefully be honest with them and allow yourself to be with someone who is compatible... and as such, worthy of YOUR love in reciprocation.
The problem isn't gender related, it is a consequence of the overall ailing human condition... (and believe me, I have felt your pain...)

-Just my 2 cents :smile:

God Bless
 

invisibleman

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Do guys get a special thrill, or perhaps an endorphin rush similar to a 'runners high' when they string a woman along or worse yet, a number of women along? Why do you do this? Is it really just to be mean?


My ex did that to me. :frown1: I don't trust a lot of men because of that. I never really take any of them serious. How do you EVER know that any will stay?
 

javyn

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Some men do this for the same reason MANY women do the exact same thing. They have esteem issues and that's an easy way to boost ones' ego. Funny though you make a thread bitching about men who string women along, when it is women who are generally known for that behavior.
 

invisibleman

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I have observed a large number of couples go through these kinds of accusations. Most of the time, the woman is at fault. The man has been perfectly straightforward, making it clear that he is not moving toward a long-term commitment, or that he is not dating one woman exclusively, or that he cannot be rushed into deeper intimacy. Yet the woman spends her days discussing this with her girlfriends, imagining hidden meanings in his everyday conversation and actions, and daydreaming until she has convinced herself that he "really" means something in line with her own desires. Then when he wants to break it off, or take it slower, she screams he has "led her on" .

Why can't women admit that what they really want is to be able to call the shots, to decide the nature of their relationships with men? Why can't they say they want to be in control, so that only THEY can decide to dump or keep a guy? Why can't they admit they feel the pain and social embarrassment of breakups, so they want to manipulate the situation so it always seems to be his fault? Why won't they face their own self-centeredness?

Well, maybe, women want to mate with a guy so that she doesn't have to always keep dating men until eighty. Speaking as a gay man...I wanted to mate with one guy with the hopes that I wouldn't have to keep dating until I am eighty. I met a guy at age thirty and at age thirty-six, he is fucking two other guys.

Here I am back in the singles lane. I fucking hate it. I hate getting used to being around my ex and now having to learn and get used to some new guy ALL THE TIME. IT is frustrating.

This is a different world and people are becoming way too sophisticated and selective. Maybe that is a clue that relationships aren't the best way.

I can see why people invented religion because man (speaking generally with women included) is never reliable. You have to depend on all your spiritual comfort from spiritual sources. Mankind is not dependable. Jesus couldn't even get the support of His peers in Gethesemane.

Anytime you risk your heart to someone, you allow them to do whatever they want. Especially disappoint you.
 

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Even many unattractive woman get 10 to 1000 times more email, via personals, than any man , with rare exception. Woman brush men off like sand. If a woman says "he's a nice guy" - it means he's not getting laid.

When a guy doesn't supplicate himself to woman, woman seem attracted to them. The bad boys. Then they complain - some things woman were attracted to- strong, not needing her, turns out to be true.

The hard working nice guys, too boring. Woman want the man to manufacture attraction, woman can't explain how that actually works- if you believe what woman say attracts them- nice guys, thats total BS.. The nice guys aren't good enough. Too boring. God help the man who can't tolerate massive rejection, or is shy.

I was a nice guy for 25 years , not getting laid - before I woke up. Its nuts what woman are attracted to. The bad boys. While the nice guys, ignored most of the time-

men have never been nicer to woman. , On the other hand- woman have never been more demanding than any time in history than they are now.
Not all woman are like this., Most men aren't bad boys either. Most men aren't getting laid very much, & so many woman are using sex as a weapon against men- especially married woman. Men - simple creatures- a little makeup, a push up bra, & men are falling over each other to talk to her.

A nice guy, could die of old age before any woman comes up to him.
 

killerb

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Do guys get a special thrill, or perhaps an endorphin rush similar to a 'runners high' when they string a woman along or worse yet, a number of women along? Why do you do this? Is it really just to be mean?

I shouldn't be surprised when this happens at my age; but it's always like being sucker punched. The wind just comes right out of my lungs.

I'm just a small town Jersey girl, so excuse my naivete.

As one who doesn't do this, I couldn't tell you why...
However I was told this little gem as a teenager (I'll paraphrase)

"the only thing better than SURE lovin' is MORE lovin'"

I don't think the intent is to be mean...in fact I have a cousin who is a notorious womanizer & when he was questioned about his behavior, he simply stated "but I love them all"...and he was serious about it!