Why do older men become bi-curious

[kcdave]

I am a Mid-fifties mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thing Is this a common phenomenon.

Perhaps it’s the appeal of the forbidden fruit. That being a tasty Cock.

 

[BGC]

Because the wives no longer want sex!!

 

[latinluva]

Well, I know I was bisexual when I was in my early twenties. I'm married and love my sex life, tho I wish teh wife would allow us to bring in a sexy man once in a while. Anyways, sex is important to most men. Understanding why a man needs to cum and how good sex can be with another man.....I just they get over the fears as they get older, and just say,'Fuck it!"

 

[submarine]

I think from what i've seen and learned over the years, a lot more men are bi than we say and after bringing up families and whatever get to a point in their life where they feel more confident in themselves. the fact a lot of wives do pull back on the sex after babies can only help make a guys eye wander. a lot of guys i've spoken to over the years don't feel the same about "messing about" or having some fun with another bloke the way they would about actually having an affair with another female. just my observations. older i get the more men i fancy. what would have been 1 in 20 now is a lot higher lol that could be the failing eyesight, who knows.

 

[handcuffsfan4]

Maybe its something subconscious. Im not that old yet, but from my short experience my fascination in men started before puberty and after my father had died. I hadnt really seen a man naked or anything and i didnt have a male role model, so durring puberty i had feelings about girls, but i also had a want to see men naked. Really, i think i had low self confidence due to not knowing if i was developing properly and not being mannly enough and subconsciously needed a man in my life.
Similarly after my long term relationship with my ex gf i was femaled out and needed attention from a guy.

Maybe its a similar effect, like after being married to a woman for so many years your body beeds some male attention. Idk, i kinda think more people are bi than you would think.
Another effect could be that you are just more open now and dont feel the hold society holds on you, causing maybe some latent feelings to surface. Idk just a thought.

 

[halcyondays]

It's because men of ours and most generations were indoctrinated to be 100% straight from a very young age. Shame and guilt were used to suppress any iota of same-sex attraction. The worst insults slung at us questioned our manhood or masculinity. It's classic sexual repression.

As I've said many times before indoctrination is a ten dollar word for brainwashing.

The straight-jacket (no pun intended) of your repression is finally lifting. Even if you never act on it, enjoy it.

 

[nedstark]

I'm a male, early 40s... I just don't give a shit anymore- I know who I am. And I've eaten so much vanilla ice cream the past 25+ years.

 

[Allen67]

I am a Mid-fifties mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thing Is this a common phenomenon.

Perhaps it’s the appeal of the forbidden fruit. That being a tasty Cock.

Great question. I have spent the last 18 months wondering where this came from and is it just me? A form of mid life crisis? Bored with our wives/sex lives? I don't know. I'm just going with the flow and trying to learn and experience as much as I can.

 

[flynn]

I didn't start with men until my early sixties. I still get enough sex from my wife but I've always had a fascination with cocks besides my own. When I was young I wouldn't dare fool around with men for fear of becoming homosexual. By the time I reached my 60's I was confident enough with my sexuality that I could explore other options. I joined Silverdaddies and posted a picture of my cock and balls. No face shots. LOL. I was amazed at the response. So I chose a man who lived within driving distance. We met for coffee, talked about a lot of things. After a couple of meetings I felt comfortable enough to go back to his house. His wife was working. He had retired. I sucked his cock, he sucked mine. I was inexperienced and probably didn't do a good job. He was very experienced. I have never been serviced the way he serviced me. I thought I'd feel guilty but I didn't. I don't feel guilty to this day. My only regret is that I didn't start earlier.

 

[Trevor]

It is probably not so much that they become bi-curious it is just that much of he stigma surrounding homosexuality is gone now so they say WTF and act on urges they have repressed for decades.

Most of us over 30 grew up at a time when being gay or for that matter even being perceived as being gay was the absolute worst thing you could be. When I was in high school in the mid 1990s calling someone a "faggot" was the ultimate insult. I am sure there were other other gay/bi guys in my senior class back when I was 18 but I have no idea who they were because they kept it to themselves in fear of being killed like Matt Shepard.

 

[Haggard_Wisdom]

I'm a male, early 40s... I just don't give a shit anymore- I know who I am. And I've eaten so much vanilla ice cream the past 25+ years.

This is exactly how I feel. There are flavours other than vanilla!!!!

 

[kcdave]

Great to know it was that easy finding a nice guy on Silverdaddies. I also belong to that site but have not met anybody there YET!

I didn't start with men until my early sixties. I still get enough sex from my wife but I've always had a fascination with cocks besides my own. When I was young I wouldn't dare fool around with men for fear of becoming homosexual. By the time I reached my 60's I was confident enough with my sexuality that I could explore other options. I joined Silverdaddies and posted a picture of my cock and balls. No face shots. LOL. I was amazed at the response. So I chose a man who lived within driving distance. We met for coffee, talked about a lot of things. After a couple of meetings I felt comfortable enough to go back to his house. His wife was working. He had retired. I sucked his cock, he sucked mine. I was inexperienced and probably didn't do a good job. He was very experienced. I have never been serviced the way he serviced me. I thought I'd feel guilty but I didn't. I don't feel guilty to this day. My only regret is that I didn't start earlier.

 

[41769]

I didn't start with men until my early sixties. I still get enough sex from my wife but I've always had a fascination with cocks besides my own. When I was young I wouldn't dare fool around with men for fear of becoming homosexual. By the time I reached my 60's I was confident enough with my sexuality that I could explore other options. I joined Silverdaddies and posted a picture of my cock and balls. No face shots. LOL. I was amazed at the response. So I chose a man who lived within driving distance. We met for coffee, talked about a lot of things. After a couple of meetings I felt comfortable enough to go back to his house. His wife was working. He had retired. I sucked his cock, he sucked mine. I was inexperienced and probably didn't do a good job. He was very experienced. I have never been serviced the way he serviced me. I thought I'd feel guilty but I didn't. I don't feel guilty to this day. My only regret is that I didn't start earlier.

Very similar to my experience. I thought I would only have the courage to act on just one opportunity but I continued to have successful contacts here and on Silverdaddies. Still enjoying great friendships with men in person and on line.

 

[dongalong]

Could it be partially due to this?

 

[RamblingCock]

I don't think it's a testosterone thing. I am completely open to sex with a friend because of other factors. But I do agree with the fact that we become more confident as we age, plus the social negativity of same sex relationships has lessened considerably, plus the wives become less sexual (for the most part).

In other words, a combination of things.

 

[dude77007]

I have a plausible theory. Older men grew up in a different era. Perhaps a time when there was more experimentation between boys during puberty and teenage years. We just did it without any thought of it being gay, etc. We moved on and a later established our sexuality as straight or gay and as myself as Bi. Subsequent decades and social media brought all the issues of homosexuality to the forefront and only later some acceptance. I have often wondered how many boys today have same sex experiences in puberty or teenage years without any real determination of their sexuality? It seems that young people today establish and acknowledge their sexuality at a much earlier age than men in older generations. Does sexual activity between boys happen anymore? Every guy I knew had a jackoff buddy, some more than that. The potential Queer in the group wasn't the only one sucking dick. Was it a rural vs urban thing? Has anyone ever seen a seen a survey of early same sex experimentation by generation? Maybe having same sex experimentation in puberty caused me to have continued desires for such interaction and I have less judgement about it. Guess I was always Bi from the beginning.

 

[bi_todd]

This is very common in my experience, for multiple reasons:

* Midlife crisis spawns a motivation to satisfy youthful desires

* Windows of opportunity start closing, creating a certain desperation

* Older people care less about opinions of others

* At a certain age you start feeling invisible in life, so the attention can be reassuring

* Experiencing newness is energizing (emotionally, physically, and mentally)

 

[Allen67]

This is very common in my experience, for multiple reasons:

* Midlife crisis spawns a motivation to satisfy youthful desires

* Windows of opportunity start closing, creating a certain desperation

* Older people care less about opinions of others

* At a certain age you start feeling invisible in life, so the attention can be reassuring

* Experiencing newness is energizing (emotionally, physically, and mentally)

I can put a check mark next to everything on this list.

 

[hzs3fg]

I can put a check mark next to everything on this list.

Me too.

 

[myhappypants]

I think that in life it’s some we all experience at some point some choose to live the straight acting lifeb because it’s seen by many as “normal” but as time marches on one may figure oh why not life is to short