Why do older men become bi-curious

[FrankieGuile]

I am a Mid-fifties mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thing Is this a common phenomenon.

Perhaps it’s the appeal of the forbidden fruit. That being a tasty Cock.

Is it a statement or a question? If it's a question, I challenge the premise that "older men become bi-curious" and subscribe the very notion of it to wishful thinking. If it's a statement, then back it up with something more than the personal experience you claim.

 

[TrynBi]

I was in the military. Some people will tell you that nothing ever goes on, then there are others like myself who knows that lots of stuff went on. People generally don't talk about it. All you need is a few beers and then a safe place with no likelihood of being found out and the rest is history.

I was in the military too. It was where I eventually entered the bi world officially though I had serious tendencies prior to that. Just never acted on them until I was in.

But once I crossed that line, a whole new world opened up to me and it included horny sailors who need a willing mouth!

 

[HOU_HEADHUNTER]

I think times of war (WWII and Vietnam) opened up a lot of opportunities for sexual exploration considering these were young men drafted. Their hormones are raging at that age and they are away from their girlfriends and wives but the need for sex is still there for them. You put a bunch of horny young guys together without female options around and anything could happen. It doesn't always equate to them being homosexual or bisexual because according to literature I've read men did what they needed to do to keep their sanity and make the days pass. Once the wars were over they most often returned to their female companions and lived their lives as heterosexuals in most cases. It's kind of the same for men who serve long stints in prison. They can transform their reality for the sake of quick pleasure. One book in particular (The Gay Metropolis by Charles Kaiser)is very descriptive of the different eras and how homosexuality was acted upon and how it was handled within society. It explains a lot about some of the beliefs that once existed and why so many men were and are still closeted.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I think times of war (WWII and Vietnam) opened up a lot of opportunities for sexual exploration considering these were young men drafted. Their hormones are raging at that age and they are away from their girlfriends and wives but the need for sex is still there for them. You put a bunch of horny young guys together without female options around and anything could happen. It doesn't always equate to them being homosexual or bisexual because according to literature I've read men did what they needed to do to keep their sanity and make the days pass. Once the wars were over they most often returned to their female companions and lived their lives as heterosexuals in most cases. It's kind of the same for men who serve long stints in prison. They can transform their reality for the sake of quick pleasure. One book in particular (The Gay Metropolis by Charles Kaiser)is very descriptive of the different eras and how homosexuality was acted upon and how it was handled within society. It explains a lot about some of the beliefs that once existed and why so many men were and are still closeted.

So war makes you gay. That might be news to veterans of the Seven Years War, the War of the Austrian Succession, the Hundred Years' War, or the Napoleonic Wars...er, hey, wait a moment...all those wars involved the French so I stand corrected.

 

[ManchesterTom]

So war makes you gay. That might be news to veterans of the Seven Years War, the War of the Austrian Succession, the Hundred Years' War, or the Napoleonic Wars...er, hey, wait a moment...all those wars involved the French so I stand corrected.

Have you ever been a soldier?

There are people who had never killed anyone until they went to war.

There are people who went to war and despite being monogamous prior to going to war met other people may have fallen in love and even had children.

War / being in the military changes every person in ways that they could never predict before they were drafted.

When I was in the military before I was old enough to legally drive a private car, but old enough to drive a heavy duty truck, also too young to buy a beer off base. Within 3 months we were all in active duty.

So Frankie all of the neatly packaged concepts and the neat beliefs in yourself and almost every other human and how they apply to one's known and trusted framework no longer conform to one's belief system.

Very often in life, most things are not as they seem.

To give another example of how it's entirely possible to misread people, I was in a foreign country and listening to people speaking at a social after a sporting event. Everyone was speaking English with American accents. Whilst ordering a drink from the bar a man standing to my left spoke to his wife in the Shona language. Shona and Zulu are very similar and I cracked a joke in Zulu. What are the chances of 3 white people being at a sports function in America, talking to each other in 2 bordering black languages from the opposite side of the world.

The rest of the people in the venue had not the faintest inkling of what had just transpired.

My point being that we can all be in the same room and our realities are going to be different depending on our ability to interpret the situation.

I am going to guarantee you that you have been in social situations where there will have been women in your company who will have had communication that you have no way of perceiving.

Many women will communicate in ways that are very difficult if not impossible for most men to pick up.

There will be other groups like Lesbians and gay or bisexual men who fly right past your radar. They will have a far better ability to identify who is gay, lesbian, and who is straight than you will. Most will have spent their entire lives learning to be invisible when need be, just like a cuttlefish many people on the ''other than straight'' spectrum can SIMULTANEOUSLY appear 100% straight to the straight world and yet be absolutely obviously not 100% straight to the people they want to recognise / identify them.

What is hugely irritating to many of us are the zealots who claim that most men are somewhat gay and the people who claim that most men are totally straight and that there are low single digit numbers of gay people.

Both sides of that coin are totally inaccurate. The real truth is that peoples' sexuality is not transparent.

Will a ''passing as straight'' man likely to approach a straight man. Hardly ever !

Will a ''passing as straight'' man likely to approach someone who doesn't appear to be straight / heterosexual. Obviously yes.

The lived experience of a straight person is that almost 100% of straight people are 100% straight.

The lived experience of a non straight person is that there are lots of straight looking people who are not straight.

My lived experience is that those who make a huge deal out of being 100% straight ..... have you ever heard the expression '' The lady doth protest too much. '' ?

 

[FrankieGuile]

Have you ever been a soldier?

There are people who had never killed anyone until they went to war.

There are people who went to war and despite being monogamous prior to going to war met other people may have fallen in love and even had children.

War / being in the military changes every person in ways that they could never predict before they were drafted.

When I was in the military before I was old enough to legally drive a private car, but old enough to drive a heavy duty truck, also too young to buy a beer off base. Within 3 months we were all in active duty.

So Frankie all of the neatly packaged concepts and the neat beliefs in yourself and almost every other human and how they apply to one's known and trusted framework no longer conform to one's belief system.

Very often in life, most things are not as they seem.

To give another example of how it's entirely possible to misread people, I was in a foreign country and listening to people speaking at a social after a sporting event. Everyone was speaking English with American accents. Whilst ordering a drink from the bar a man standing to my left spoke to his wife in the Shona language. Shona and Zulu are very similar and I cracked a joke in Zulu. What are the chances of 3 white people being at a sports function in America, talking to each other in 2 bordering black languages from the opposite side of the world.

The rest of the people in the venue had not the faintest inkling of what had just transpired.

My point being that we can all be in the same room and our realities are going to be different depending on our ability to interpret the situation.

I am going to guarantee you that you have been in social situations where there will have been women in your company who will have had communication that you have no way of perceiving.

Many women will communicate in ways that are very difficult if not impossible for most men to pick up.

There will be other groups like Lesbians and gay or bisexual men who fly right past your radar. They will have a far better ability to identify who is gay, lesbian, and who is straight than you will. Most will have spent their entire lives learning to be invisible when need be, just like a cuttlefish many people on the ''other than straight'' spectrum can SIMULTANEOUSLY appear 100% straight to the straight world and yet be absolutely obviously not 100% straight to the people they want to recognise / identify them.

What is hugely irritating to many of us are the zealots who claim that most men are somewhat gay and the people who claim that most men are totally straight and that there are low single digit numbers of gay people.

Both sides of that coin are totally inaccurate. The real truth is that peoples' sexuality is not transparent.

Will a ''passing as straight'' man likely to approach a straight man. Hardly ever !

Will a ''passing as straight'' man likely to approach someone who doesn't appear to be straight / heterosexual. Obviously yes.

The lived experience of a straight person is that almost 100% of straight people are 100% straight.

The lived experience of a non straight person is that there are lots of straight looking people who are not straight.

My lived experience is that those who make a huge deal out of being 100% straight ..... have you ever heard the expression '' The lady doth protest too much. '' ?

Distilling your screed down to a salient point to which one could respond is like disentangling a cuttlefish from a spider's web...see, I can work cuttlefish into a nonsensical sentence as well! Straight men, which comprise the great majority of sexual identification among men, do not engage in homosexual sexual or romantic behavior voluntarily no matter the circumstances. That is why they are "straight." Going to war and becoming gay would be a revelation to our society and many societies throughout history. But it's not a revelation. It's not a revelation because it's invented. It's invented because it is not "a thing" though many wish it were "a thing."

 

[Adreaux]

Look, older men get saggy balls. Saggy balls sway & swing in all directions. Maybe their sexual orientation goes the same way as their balls - it aint like it'd be the first time a fella thought with his dick rather than his head.

Is this crazy... yes, crazier than some shit I've read on this thread... nope. Just tryin to bring a light note to those who got really worked up by this issue.

Glad I've solved the issue for everyone!

 

[bi2]

With my fuckbuddy who is much older in his 60s, he became bi curious because his wife had lost interest in sex. He didnt want to be with another woman, as he loves his wife and family. So fortunately for him, I became a physical outlet to release his sexual frustrations and gratify his sexual needs being a strong masculine Alpha Top.

He has needs to be met and once a month I can provide him with that opportunity to be sexual.

 

[deleted24521041]

Can't speak for anyone but me obviously...sample size of one. With that out of the way, I've always been turned on by the thought of gay sex. However, I've never met a man I was actually attracted to. Sure, I've seen guys that I admired in terms of their looks/bodies and thought..."that guy probably crushes tons of pussy". Cocks on the other hand....HUGE turn on. Hugely attracted to them....if guys were walking around with their meat hanging out or hard all the time, I'd probably have been fucked by (and fucked) a ton of guys. Apparently, I fetishize a big cock and cum...but I've never actually acted on it.

I'm over 50 now....but am often thought to be mid 30s (good genes and I take care of myself), but I find myself more and more attracted to the idea/fantasy of having sex with men. I wonder how much of that is psychological programming from watching too much hetero and gay porn with huge cocks. I'm larger than average by a fair amount

but have dysmorphia about my cock being too small or just wishing it was bigger. I think penis envy for me is very real...and leads, in part, to why I want to service a big dick.

In my case, my attraction is definitely multi-faceted.

 

[Jjsurp99]

Can't speak for anyone but me obviously...sample size of one. With that out of the way, I've always been turned on by the thought of gay sex. However, I've never met a man I was actually attracted to. Sure, I've seen guys that I admired in terms of their looks/bodies and thought..."that guy probably crushes tons of pussy". Cocks on the other hand....HUGE turn on. Hugely attracted to them....if guys were walking around with their meat hanging out or hard all the time, I'd probably have been fucked by (and fucked) a ton of guys. Apparently, I fetishize a big cock and cum...but I've never actually acted on it.

I'm over 50 now....but am often thought to be mid 30s (good genes and I take care of myself), but I find myself more and more attracted to the idea/fantasy of having sex with men. I wonder how much of that is psychological programming from watching too much hetero and gay porn with huge cocks. I'm larger than average by a fair amount View attachment 114189161 but have dysmorphia about my cock being too small or just wishing it was bigger. I think penis envy for me is very real...and leads, in part, to why I want to service a big dick.

In my case, my attraction is definitely multi-faceted.

I really love to suck your cock it's perfect for me. Would you be interested pounding me while you getting pounded

 

[Frank240]

Can't speak for anyone but me obviously...sample size of one. With that out of the way, I've always been turned on by the thought of gay sex. However, I've never met a man I was actually attracted to. Sure, I've seen guys that I admired in terms of their looks/bodies and thought..."that guy probably crushes tons of pussy". Cocks on the other hand....HUGE turn on. Hugely attracted to them....if guys were walking around with their meat hanging out or hard all the time, I'd probably have been fucked by (and fucked) a ton of guys. Apparently, I fetishize a big cock and cum...but I've never actually acted on it.

I'm over 50 now....but am often thought to be mid 30s (good genes and I take care of myself), but I find myself more and more attracted to the idea/fantasy of having sex with men. I wonder how much of that is psychological programming from watching too much hetero and gay porn with huge cocks. I'm larger than average by a fair amount View attachment 114189161 but have dysmorphia about my cock being too small or just wishing it was bigger. I think penis envy for me is very real...and leads, in part, to why I want to service a big dick.

In my case, my attraction is definitely multi-faceted.

I agree 100% with everything you said (except being mistaken for 30 or taking care of myself.) I am fascinated by cock to the point of distraction. Like you, I have only seen one or two guys who I was attracted to without seeing their cocks out. I don’t think I could ever be or feel romantic with another guy but the fantasy/thought of mutual cock play, frotting, and sucking is a huge turn on. I think dudes know how to make a cock feel great and the innate desire (and inability) to self-suck translates into addictive cock worship once we get older and our social barriers/limits begin to erode. Us older guys never had the access or safety to open our options in the bedroom. Having taken a vow, I won’t be acting on any of this soon, but it has certainly not diminished with time. In fact, it keeps getting stronger.

p.s. Great looking cock!

 

[bi2]

I don’t think I could ever be or feel romantic with another guy

My fuckbuddy is very much like you, we have been together for a few yeas now, but neither of us have ever had any romantic or personal feelings for the other. We are both closeted bi guys. I think one of the reasons why we continue to hookup to fuck, is because its just easy, simple, convenient sex without any issues or dramas. I think if were in a relationship Im sure problems may arise. The irony being we are in a relationship, neither of us are interested in meeting any other guy for MM sex. There is no need to, we both enjoy the MM sex we have and its easily accessible for us.

Mind you, we only get to hookup about once a month, so in many ways that keeps our relationship always feeling new and fresh.

 

[Tazman66]

I agree 100% with everything you said (except being mistaken for 30 or taking care of myself.) I am fascinated by cock to the point of distraction. Like you, I have only seen one or two guys who I was attracted to without seeing their cocks out. I don’t think I could ever be or feel romantic with another guy but the fantasy/thought of mutual cock play, frotting, and sucking is a huge turn on. I think dudes know how to make a cock feel great and the innate desire (and inability) to self-suck translates into addictive cock worship once we get older and our social barriers/limits begin to erode. Us older guys never had the access or safety to open our options in the bedroom. Having taken a vow, I won’t be acting on any of this soon, but it has certainly not diminished with time. In fact, it keeps getting stronger.

p.s. Great looking cock!

Agree 100%! My gay/bi fantasies will, in all likelihood, remain fantasies. I don't think I could bring myself to cheat on my wife. She certainly doesn't deserve that.
But those thoughts about cock aren't going anywhere!

 

[bi2]

Agree 100%! My gay/bi fantasies will, in all likelihood, remain fantasies. I don't think I could bring myself to cheat on my wife. She certainly doesn't deserve that.
But those thoughts about cock aren't going anywhere!

My fuckbuddy is in a sexless marriage. His wife lost interest years ago. He and her however are still very much in love and are very happy otherwise. He would never leave her and I dont want to be with a man in a personal intimate relationship.

I provide for him, a sexual outlet in many ways. A release. We meet up once a month to fuck. He is a top and Im the bottom, so naturally our needs are met.

We were aware up front from the beginning that this sexual relationship, would be only physical and were both happy with that. If anything I think thats the reason why we are happy and continue to see each other. Neither of us wants a personal relationship. Not to mention the vast age difference between us.

 

[FrankieGuile]

Look, older men get saggy balls. Saggy balls sway & swing in all directions. Maybe their sexual orientation goes the same way as their balls - it aint like it'd be the first time a fella thought with his dick rather than his head.

Is this crazy... yes, crazier than some shit I've read on this thread... nope. Just tryin to bring a light note to those who got really worked up by this issue.

Glad I've solved the issue for everyone!

...and you did a fine job of it. But beware of those here who take you seriously and create a new thread, "Why do all men with saggy balls turn gay?"

 

[deleted24521041]

I agree 100% with everything you said (except being mistaken for 30 or taking care of myself.) I am fascinated by cock to the point of distraction. Like you, I have only seen one or two guys who I was attracted to without seeing their cocks out. I don’t think I could ever be or feel romantic with another guy but the fantasy/thought of mutual cock play, frotting, and sucking is a huge turn on. I think dudes know how to make a cock feel great and the innate desire (and inability) to self-suck translates into addictive cock worship once we get older and our social barriers/limits begin to erode. Us older guys never had the access or safety to open our options in the bedroom. Having taken a vow, I won’t be acting on any of this soon, but it has certainly not diminished with time. In fact, it keeps getting stronger.

p.s. Great looking cock!

Funny, I actually used to be able to perform limited auto-fellatio....but I'm not as limber as I used to be, lol.

 

[bi2]

Funny, I actually used to be able to perform limited auto-fellatio....but I'm not as limber as I used to be, lol.

Would solve a lot of world problems if men could easily auto fellatio.

 

[Tazman66]

My fuckbuddy is in a sexless marriage. His wife lost interest years ago. He and her however are still very much in love and are very happy otherwise. He would never leave her and I dont want to be with a man in a personal intimate relationship.

I provide for him, a sexual outlet in many ways. A release. We meet up once a month to fuck. He is a top and Im the bottom, so naturally our needs are met.

We were aware up front from the beginning that this sexual relationship, would be only physical and were both happy with that. If anything I think thats the reason why we are happy and continue to see each other. Neither of us wants a personal relationship. Not to mention the vast age difference between us.

Thankfully my wife and I have a great sex life. That's why I said I probably won't ever act on my urges.
I can certainly understand someone in a sexless marriage wanting to have their needs filled.

 

[bi2]

Thankfully my wife and I have a great sex life. That's why I said I probably won't ever act on my urges.
I can certainly understand someone in a sexless marriage wanting to have their needs filled.

I think there is probably a few reasons why he engages in NSA MM sex with me.

Firstly as a sexual outlet, I provide him with that opportunity to release those physical urges, the issues and complications that a woman may bring is never an issue for us and probably because when we do hookup, I take up a very submissive feminine bottom role as he is a very proud and strong masculine Alpha Top. Having these clearly defined roles, means I get my needs met by him and his needs are met by me, when we both "work" together to get him to orgasm. I feel very satisfied and derive a lot of pleasure being subservient to him and attending to his physical needs and urges. Its really just easy convenient, uncomplicated mutually satisfying sex, so in many ways of course we enjoy and continue to see each other.

Ironically its my best relationship I have ever had. We never have argued, fought or had a disagreement. Thats impressive when you consider, I have sometimes spent a few days at his house when his wife has been away and we have also gone away together when he has had a work trip.

 

[Tazman66]

I think there is probably a few reasons why he engages in NSA MM sex with me.

Firstly as a sexual outlet, I provide him with that opportunity to release those physical urges, the issues and complications that a woman may bring is never an issue for us and probably because when we do hookup, I take up a very submissive feminine bottom role as he is a very proud and strong masculine Alpha Top. Having these clearly defined roles, means I get my needs met by him and his needs are met by me, when we both "work" together to get him to orgasm. I feel very satisfied and derive a lot of pleasure being subservient to him and attending to his physical needs and urges. Its really just easy convenient, uncomplicated mutually satisfying sex, so in many ways of course we enjoy and continue to see each other.

Ironically its my best relationship I have ever had. We never have argued, fought or had a disagreement. Thats impressive when you consider, I have sometimes spent a few days at his house when his wife has been away and we have also gone away together when he has had a work trip.

Sounds like a great arrangement for both of you.