I can't agree with this. I think that most people probably go into more serious mature relationships with the expectation of being monogamous. It then simply doesn't turn out like that, so you can't preempt the situations by discussing it first. "In ten years time when our sex life has become a bit routine, I may be away and get a bit drunk when this hot person may come on to me and I think what the hell, it isn't going to break our relationship and it's only sex." Would it go a bit like that? :smile:
Also, I was referred to a survey in More Magazine, in which over 50% of the ladies admitted to cheating on their partners. Can you guess what percentage said that they would dump a partner if they found them cheating?
99%.
So if you go around saying that you will probably cheat based on current stats, I don't imagine that you will have many relationships. :biggrin1:
More Magazine isnt a reputable source. I wouldnt suggest going around preaching the gosepl of absolving cheaters inequities on the basis of a paperback with a section called "Cougar Café" and gives clothing tips. There pool of women survey respondants, statisticans, and journalist arent concerned with accuracy, but sales. Oh, and also health and the 15 hairstyles of the year. The dull sexual lives of 30+ year old, married women and their affairs are ate up for their sensationalism. Its like watching Desperate Housewives for the upteenth season and believing it to be true. There is reason for the jump to such a conclusion. The pinnacle of human relations is dissolving around us: marriage. Divorce is at an all time high. I say because we live longer, not because we cant be monogamous.
Monogamy is a commitment. Two people are binded, whether their Facebook status says "In a Relationship" or "Married". The social contract the two vocally signed often stipulates in the regulations any acts outside the relationship are classified as deal-breaker. Most of the human race knows this. You dont have to remind us people arent going to admit to an act considered reason for disbandment. What most of the human race knows, and you seem to have overlooked, is the importance of one another. When ten years pass, and you've let your sex life getting boring, on the basis of one's own bedroom misbehaviors you engage in sexual relations with another? How, in those ten years, didnt you recognizing it was dull? And how didnt you know eventually it probably would be? Relationships arent about sex. Theyre about trust, intimacy, and getting through life a bit easiers. Its also for procreation, and the furthering of our species, but with short supplies and overpopulation, I think we dont need much more of that. Our biological needs have been fulfilled as a human race. We've obese individuals stuck a front TV sets, entertained 24 hours a day with conditioned gladitator-esque athletes whom dedicate their livelihoods to perform for us. In the case of boxers, football players, hockeymen & baseballers, at the expense of their life spand. I'd say we've far removed ourselves from the Dark Ages and times stuck in a cave where monogamy had a harder time in working.
Where we can say there are neurological & biological needs unmet by monogamy, we can also say there are neurological & biological needs unmet by the lifestyle of the aforementioned fat fuck stuck in a chair looking into a magical box. Yet, it is the crudest, anthropological, and typical portrayl of our NASCAR loving western culture. And it is the west which leads the percentage in divorce rates. And it is the west who are liberal and first stressed the importance of freedom in their Bill of Rights. And it is the west where the freakshow happens, and Michael Jackson molest children then performs new platinum songs weeks after court hearings, and our president gets shoes thrown at him or are embarassed by allegations of cheating on his spouse.
The west - america (lets throw europe & canada in there too) - is ground zero for the end of relationships as we knew it. You ask why? You say the why is the most interesting. We all really know why. Because if America is phenemonal at anything, its fucking relationships. Let your imagination play with the notion, because I am gettting sidetracked. When we talk about the science of monogamous relationships, and how it exist within the western culture, Id say the corroding of the union began with the advent for rights & freedom. Cheating happened before hand, but with the hippies turned yuppies, post-punk and free children of Generation Now who know how to txt eachother YouTube clips, and the invention of ADD, Id say ten years with the same person sounds like a drag. Forget the routine sex life, what about the routine of seeing the same face 3,650 times?
But we prescribe to the construct for a reason. The reason is because in spite my love for chaos, youve got to have a stable home. If you want the humans to keep on, then the kids are going to need a place to chill, eat, take a shit and grow. Even with overpopulation and my advocation for lower reproduction, I think a shared household is important. People need emotional affection to live. Im sure we all heard the studies on the need for babies, toddlers, teenages all the way up to adults need one another to live. So, when you fuck with the trust required to keep an upstanding household in society by cheating, youre inconsiderate, selfish, and generally have no respect for what has been established within the relations. Therefore, the other party is resigned to break the social contract which binded the two. If the agreement was a job, such misbehaviors would get you fired. Kaput! Gone! Finished!
Its not all about morals. I think more often then not morals are bendable, but when you realize youre dealing with other living, bleeding human beings who you care about and dont want to hurt, its best to remember to watch where youre stepping when walking through, and even moreso with the one you cherish, not to stomp on their hearts. Hey, they might get over it, but why do it in the first place? Take some responsibility for the action of cheating. If youre out and about with someone who obviously cant wait to jump your bones, and you know youve got someone at the house who'd go fucking bonkers if she saw how you were flirting at that moment, cut it the fuck out. How hard is self-control, man? Its a compromise for a good thing, right? If Im wrong, then go back to being single.
In all honesty, people make things way more complicated then they are. Monogamy is hard, but like any work when you commit to you see it through. If the job is too much, quit. It isnt complicated. Why cheat? Because you just dont give a fuck? Then end the thing or talk about it. I swear, sometimes, people fucking suck.
