Why do smaller cocks hurt me more than big ones?

rz_gatv

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 6, 2020
Posts
656
Media
34
Likes
1,846
Points
288
Location
Coventry, UK
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I think is because most guys with HUGE dicks have some difficulties getting REALLY hard… In my experience, average guys usually have better reactions than big ones…
 

Liftergio

Expert Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Posts
59
Media
5
Likes
211
Points
143
Location
Amsterdam (North Holland, Netherlands)
Verification
View
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
You are right about the smaller size cocks, sort of hitting the creases inside me. Specifically 5cm inside and a bit of it more towards the rectum, the bottom "inside rim"? of my rectum which is like 1 or 2cm inside will hurt like hell when a knob is too fat, the angle is weird, or my top is just playing around trying to get in.
And then from my experience with larger cocks, as soon as he is in me, the knob and a bit of shaft will lodge in and the muscle of his cock can freely move a bit withouth really pulling on my rectum. More of a stretchy feel, instead of a rubby feel? Does it make sense?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hyoren

Hyoren

Superior Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2016
Posts
1,266
Media
2
Likes
3,077
Points
183
Location
UK
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I'll leave update in here.

I honestly don't like being a bottom, or gay, for that matter. Everything is way much more complicated.

Douching is the worst thing imo, I just have to choose between eating and being happy, that means eating all I want, OR starving and have anal sex. So unfair.
It also takes a lot for me to be able to meet a guy (the 0.1% that are kinda worth it), I always get anxiety attacks, and I literally shake and tremble when with someone having sex, almost crying. Of course I love men and having sex, but at the same time I feel so scared and terrified 99.999% of the time.

Anyways, last night I met a guy (grindr of course) and I felt comfortable to bottom, I douched (ugh), took ages, but well, I was "ready", although I told him that NO anal for the moment, only rubbing the cock and that's it.

You know what the guy did? He wanted to fuck me, which is fine, but he slid his cock so abruptly and with suck force into my hole that I almost cried, heck I wanted to cry, it was horrible and painful, he thought he was in a porn movie?
So violent, no touching me or fingering or at least something, no, just BAM. It was really bad... :(

I usually (since always) have anxiety attacks whenever I will meet a guy (for sex specially), such a pressure in my chest, I get little dizzy, can't breath etc... Every single time. I hate it, it's awful, and I don't know why that happens to me. I think social media such as Grindr has something to do with it, because everything is more frivolous and people want to be in a porn movie.

Last night I was having a mini panic attack as well as usual, before meeting the guy, but I tried to do my best to relax, and... he basically destroyed my ass and left me almost passed out with the pain. He didn't even apologize, he was like "alright, well relax a little bit and I'll do it again". I was like Excuse me?
I don't know if he raped me, I don't think so because I told him to come to my house and have fun.

Terrible experience, didn't help with my anxiety attacks with men, and now I don't know when I will be able to have sex again...

I hate myself.
 

nhguy78

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Mar 14, 2010
Posts
1,010
Media
49
Likes
4,332
Points
543
Age
45
Location
Boston, New Hampshire, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Asexual
Gender
Male
Im
I'll leave update in here.

I honestly don't like being a bottom, or gay, for that matter. Everything is way much more complicated.

Douching is the worst thing imo, I just have to choose between eating and being happy, that means eating all I want, OR starving and have anal sex. So unfair.
It also takes a lot for me to be able to meet a guy (the 0.1% that are kinda worth it), I always get anxiety attacks, and I literally shake and tremble when with someone having sex, almost crying. Of course I love men and having sex, but at the same time I feel so scared and terrified 99.999% of the time.

Anyways, last night I met a guy (grindr of course) and I felt comfortable to bottom, I douched (ugh), took ages, but well, I was "ready", although I told him that NO anal for the moment, only rubbing the cock and that's it.

You know what the guy did? He wanted to fuck me, which is fine, but he slid his cock so abruptly and with suck force into my hole that I almost cried, heck I wanted to cry, it was horrible and painful, he thought he was in a porn movie?
So violent, no touching me or fingering or at least something, no, just BAM. It was really bad... :(

I usually (since always) have anxiety attacks whenever I will meet a guy (for sex specially), such a pressure in my chest, I get little dizzy, can't breath etc... Every single time. I hate it, it's awful, and I don't know why that happens to me. I think social media such as Grindr has something to do with it, because everything is more frivolous and people want to be in a porn movie.

Last night I was having a mini panic attack as well as usual, before meeting the guy, but I tried to do my best to relax, and... he basically destroyed my ass and left me almost passed out with the pain. He didn't even apologize, he was like "alright, well relax a little bit and I'll do it again". I was like Excuse me?
I don't know if he raped me, I don't think so because I told him to come to my house and have fun.

Terrible experience, didn't help with my anxiety attacks with men, and now I don't know when I will be able to have sex again...

I hate myself.
I'm sorry you were treated so horribly.
 

Andrej_u

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 25, 2022
Posts
332
Media
8
Likes
2,544
Points
388
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
I am really sorry to hear what happened to you.
It is infuriating. Fuckers like this ruin it for everyone. You have all my solidarity, and please make sure you feel better, both anally and emotionally. What was going through his mind? Ugh.
It also takes a lot for me to be able to meet a guy (the 0.1% that are kinda worth it), I always get anxiety attacks, and I literally shake and tremble when with someone having sex, almost crying. Of course I love men and having sex, but at the same time I feel so scared and terrified 99.999% of the time.

Anyways, last night I met a guy (grindr of course) and I felt comfortable to bottom, I douched (ugh), took ages, but well, I was "ready", although I told him that NO anal for the moment, only rubbing the cock and that's it.
You know, if you were nearby, we are chatting on Grindr and you tell me that you feel like this when you meet a guy... I'd invite you over and hold you into my arms and cuddle you until you manage to feel more relaxed. I'd feel so proud if I managed to give you a positive sex experience :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hyoren

Hyoren

Superior Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2016
Posts
1,266
Media
2
Likes
3,077
Points
183
Location
UK
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I am really sorry to hear what happened to you.
It is infuriating. Fuckers like this ruin it for everyone. You have all my solidarity, and please make sure you feel better, both anally and emotionally. What was going through his mind? Ugh.

You know, if you were nearby, we are chatting on Grindr and you tell me that you feel like this when you meet a guy... I'd invite you over and hold you into my arms and cuddle you until you manage to feel more relaxed. I'd feel so proud if I managed to give you a positive sex experience :)
Thank you! That's very nice of you.
It is a shame that people on Grindr don't care about other people's feelings, I get it, it's a sex app, but doesn't mean you have to be so frivolous.
Sometimes, like 99% of the time, I honestly despise being gay, and in my opinion (based on my experience of course) I consider it a curse. I know, it's horrible thinking something like that, but it's how I feel...
 

Hyoren

Superior Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2016
Posts
1,266
Media
2
Likes
3,077
Points
183
Location
UK
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Im
I'm sorry you were treated so horribly.
Thank you!
Sometimes I feel like I kinda deserve it because I don't live up to other top guys standards, and I wish I was like other bottoms that are so comfortable bottoming or being submissive etc.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Liftergio

nhguy78

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Mar 14, 2010
Posts
1,010
Media
49
Likes
4,332
Points
543
Age
45
Location
Boston, New Hampshire, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
Asexual
Gender
Male
Thank you!
Sometimes I feel like I kinda deserve it because I don't live up to other top guys standards, and I wish I was like other bottoms that are so comfortable bottoming or being submissive etc.
Ugh. If you didn't ask for it, it shouldn't have been assumed that you wanted it.
 

Andrej_u

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 25, 2022
Posts
332
Media
8
Likes
2,544
Points
388
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Thank you! That's very nice of you.
It is a shame that people on Grindr don't care about other people's feelings, I get it, it's a sex app, but doesn't mean you have to be so frivolous.
Sometimes, like 99% of the time, I honestly despise being gay, and in my opinion (based on my experience of course) I consider it a curse. I know, it's horrible thinking something like that, but it's how I feel...
I know it's easier said than done, but I wish you loved yourself more and found some more self-worth. You should learn how to set boundaries with men, and how to lead the game. Bottoms do not need to be submissive.

My advice is: even if it's Grindr, have longer conversations. Explain to them that you are a bit afraid, that you've had bad experiences and that you like to take it slow. Chances are... That they will answer "me too". Tops can struggle with anxiety too, I know it way too well on myself. And if guys don't have the patience for that and they answer rudely or stop answering... Go for the next one. It's their loss. There is plenty of fish in the pond.

It is true that 90% of the people seem to look for quick sex, but they are overrepresented because, if you look for quick sex, you will text lots of people. If you are a "slow" Grindr user like me, you will text only few guys. So 90% of the conversations only last for a few lines, and 10% are the ones that really matter :)

Thank you!
Sometimes I feel like I kinda deserve it because I don't live up to other top guys standards, and I wish I was like other bottoms that are so comfortable bottoming or being submissive etc.
And did he live up to your standards?
Why do other guys' standards matter... And yours don't?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hyoren

Hyoren

Superior Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2016
Posts
1,266
Media
2
Likes
3,077
Points
183
Location
UK
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
And did he live up to your standards?
Why do other guys' standards matter... And yours don't?
I honestly don't know... Having been bullied in school since a young age seems to have something to do with it. It's the fear of "not be liked" and feel lonely again, or laughed at. I don't know how to explain it. For me, meeting new guys every single time is terrifying, and takes a toll on me, I sweat, get dizzy and have panic attacks... I wish I was more "normal". So I always tend to want to content the other person. Always happened to me.

Sometimes I really wanna feel desired, touched, and then... that never happens because of the guys I meet, 99% fails.
 

Andrej_u

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 25, 2022
Posts
332
Media
8
Likes
2,544
Points
388
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
I honestly don't know... Having been bullied in school since a young age seems to have something to do with it. It's the fear of "not be liked" and feel lonely again, or laughed at. I don't know how to explain it. For me, meeting new guys every single time is terrifying, and takes a toll on me, I sweat, get dizzy and have panic attacks... I wish I was more "normal". So I always tend to want to content the other person. Always happened to me.

Sometimes I really wanna feel desired, touched, and then... that never happens because of the guys I meet, 99% fails.
I'm really sorry to hear about the bullying. Those things indeed leave a scar.
Having said that, there are 3 things I would like to say:
1) Psychotherapy. The earlier you begin, the earlier you feel better (if you're not doing it already). It can really help with the anxiety part, I know it on myself and I can imagine you feel anxious in other situations too.
2) Be ready to take it slow and to face rejection. It is normal that most guys are not a match, that they will ghost you and so on. The ones that fit us are a minority, and finding someone goes through trial and error. And this leads to point 3
3) Have you considering not doing anal on your first date?
If you're very anxious about meeting a guy already, how about removing a large chunk of the worries by not having to also think about douching, penetration and so on? You can leave it for a following date! I know you feel like pleasing the guys, but this can't happen at the expense of your serenity.

And yet again, it will happen that many guys will say "either anal on the first date or no date". Sure, I can understand that (who wouldn't want that ass all the time? :heart_eyes: ), but not a match. Good ass is to be enjoyed slowly.
You will also have guys you meet only for drinks and maybe oral, and then they stop answering and there's never a second date. It sucks, but don't take it personally. Not a match!

And yeah, I agree with the comments you received in the other multiple threads you opened. Consider dating outside Grindr. I say try opening up to guys about your fears on Grindr too: most guys are rushingly looking for quick sex, but there is a sizeable minority of guys I've had very long conversations with. On Grindr! They exist!
 

PutItInHere691

Legendary Member
Joined
May 22, 2023
Posts
744
Media
0
Likes
2,074
Points
128
Location
Portland, Oregon,United States
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
i been fucked by huge cocks and smaller ones--i think the biggger cocks stretch open the inside walls so much they dont retrack back together like the anus does-- so that leaves movement for the smaller penis to go up and down and side to side more than it does going straight in
 
  • Like
Reactions: deleted784661