Why do so many gay guys talk like girls?

D_BarryBunwarmer

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Why do so many gay guys have feminine voices? I've been doing the online dating site stuff lately and I usually ask a guy if he's mas or fem because I'm not attracted to fem. Nothing against guys who are but that's just me. But the guys always say they're masculine and nobody can tell they're gay. But when I end up meeting them, I can tell from the first word out of their mouth. Kinda sounds like a valley girl.

Why is this so common with gay guys?

And BTW, I wouldn't ditch a guy for this reason alone. I could look past it if everything else was cool.
 

flame boy

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There is no specific reason why some gay men are effeminate. It would be like asking why are some gay men straight acting - the simple answer is "because they are".

I think it's quite a generalisation to say "many" gay men talk like "girls". I do however know what you mean about guys claiming to be straight-acting who aren't kidding anyone - a good friend of mine who is still in the closet believes he is straight acting but he sometimes manages to even out-camp me.

It's a shame that effeminate gay guys get such a hard time of it, but thats another debate I suppose.
 

killerb

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There is no specific reason why some gay men are effeminate. It would be like asking why are some gay men straight acting - the simple answer is "because they are".

I think it's quite a generalisation to say "many" gay men talk like "girls". I do however know what you mean about guys claiming to be straight-acting who aren't kidding anyone - a good friend of mine who is still in the closet believes he is straight acting but he sometimes manages to even out-camp me.

It's a shame that effeminate gay guys get such a hard time of it, but thats another debate I suppose.

it doesn't really bother me at all...but sometimes it seems like some guys are actually trying to make an effort to sound that way...like if you caught them alone, they might have a totally different pattern of speech...
 

flame boy

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it doesn't really bother me at all...but sometimes it seems like some guys are actually trying to make an effort to sound that way...like if you caught them alone, they might have a totally different pattern of speech...

Well obviously I wouldnt want to speak on behalf of other people but most people just speak that way normally. I will be the first to admit that sometimes my "camp factor" goes up a few notches so yes you could be right, however most "femme" guys are like it all the time, it's not something we choose to switch on and off :biggrin1:
 
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Why do so many gay guys have feminine voices?

Maybe some gay men try to attract masculine men by acting feminine. Or maybe it is a sort of "insider" speak that is perfected as a way of social bonding with each other. Or maybe some gay guys identify with straight women, and use speach as a way to bond with women of like-interests. Or maybe it is all three, plus 100 other reasons.

I have known guys who speak in a masculine manner with some people, and then "camp out" when they are around other gay guys.
 

D_BarryBunwarmer

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There is no specific reason why some gay men are effeminate. It would be like asking why are some gay men straight acting - the simple answer is "because they are".

I think it's quite a generalisation to say "many" gay men talk like "girls". I do however know what you mean about guys claiming to be straight-acting who aren't kidding anyone - a good friend of mine who is still in the closet believes he is straight acting but he sometimes manages to even out-camp me.

It's a shame that effeminate gay guys get such a hard time of it, but thats another debate I suppose.

Yeah this one guy I went out with last week lives in a dorm and he said that nobody on his floor can tell that he's gay. I was thinking "umm...yes they can"
 

D_BarryBunwarmer

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Well obviously I wouldnt want to speak on behalf of other people but most people just speak that way normally. I will be the first to admit that sometimes my "camp factor" goes up a few notches so yes you could be right, however most "femme" guys are like it all the time, it's not something we choose to switch on and off :biggrin1:

I don't think most fem guys know that they're fem because they don't realize how they actually sound. Like if you make a recording of your voice and play it back you sound completely different than you think you do.

I don't know if I'm fem or not. I know I'm not the most masculine guy in the world but, honestly, most guys assume I'm straight. They'll talk about hot girls to me and go "she's cute huh?" when a girl passes by. I think some people could probably tell though. Maybe others are just clueless.
 

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Another interesting thing is how camp/effeminate gay guys sound the same no matter what language they're speaking. It'd be fun to do a PhD on it.
 

PECTACULAR

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find that younger men sound and act more femine, takes some guys a few years to accept that being gay has nothing to do with being femine or having feminie caracteristics.
 
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I have friends that range across the board. Some men are just born with softer voices, others have masculine voices and are still what I call "big ole girls". You never know, people are so varied, it is difficult to pin down.

As long as the individual is a decent, kind and honest person I am not bothered either way.
 

Xcuze

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Im not sexually attracted to camp guys at all. Its a cliche I know & its what most gay men seem to say. Which makes you wonder how these camp guys get so much action! When gays are overly camp it can come across as insincere. Its as though the real person is buried under an act. Thats off-putting to me.
 

bstexas

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Maybe some gay men try to attract masculine men by acting feminine. Or maybe it is a sort of "insider" speak that is perfected as a way of social bonding with each other. Or maybe some gay guys identify with straight women, and use speach as a way to bond with women of like-interests. Or maybe it is all three, plus 100 other reasons.

I have known guys who speak in a masculine manner with some people, and then "camp out" when they are around other gay guys.

GREAT THOUGHTS!
 

B_ClydeS

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As someone who has had sex with men in the past and will most likely again in the near future, I just want to make a few comments. I agree with I think it was IndustrialSize who said that someone cannot be "straight-acting" with a penis in the mouth (or ass). Some of the most effeminate men I've ever met (actions, voices, hobbies, etc.) have been happily-married, totally straight, and never had any interest in same-sex contact ever. Some of the most masculine men I've ever met have been openly gay. I also abhor the misuse of the term "straight-acting" when the word used should be "masculine" for reasons I mention above as well as what others have said before me.

Just my opinions and thoughts. Not meant to stimulate any arguments.