Why do so many gay guys talk like girls?

[deleted3782]

Im not sexually attracted to camp guys at all. Its a cliche I know & its what most gay men seem to say. Which makes you wonder how these camp guys get so much action! When gays are overly camp it can come across as insincere. Its as though the real person is buried under an act. Thats off-putting to me.

One of my best friends talks in an effeminate manner. He has always scored more than me. I think its becuase he is more obviously gay...so there is no "is he or isn't he?" Guys know he "is" and they are blatant in flirting with him. He is an easy, low risk target.

On the other hand, I've been told that nobody suspects that I like guys...so few will risk approaching me. I actually get a lot more "hits" on this site than real life...I guess people here can see beyond my non-traditional gay facade.

 

[B_Nick8]

One of my best friends talks in an effeminate manner. He has always scored more than me. I think its becuase he is more obviously gay...so there is no "is he or isn't he?" Guys know he "is" and they are blatant in flirting with him. He is an easy, low risk target.

On the other hand, I've been told that nobody suspects that I like guys...so few will risk approaching me. I actually get a lot more "hits" on this site than real life...I guess people here can see beyond my non-traditional gay facade.

Good point, ex. By the same token, I wonder if straight men speaking like Neanderthals holds true.

 

[D_dollar a week]

Maybe some gay men try to attract masculine men by acting feminine. Or maybe it is a sort of "insider" speak that is perfected as a way of social bonding with each other. Or maybe some gay guys identify with straight women, and use speach as a way to bond with women of like-interests. Or maybe it is all three, plus 100 other reasons.

I have known guys who speak in a masculine manner with some people, and then "camp out" when they are around other gay guys.

One of my best friends talks in an effeminate manner. He has always scored more than me. I think its becuase he is more obviously gay...so there is no "is he or isn't he?" Guys know he "is" and they are blatant in flirting with him. He is an easy, low risk target.

On the other hand, I've been told that nobody suspects that I like guys...so few will risk approaching me. I actually get a lot more "hits" on this site than real life...I guess people here can see beyond my non-traditional gay facade.

Once again, ex says it best. :notworthy:

 

[crescendo69]

You go, girl! (snaps finger)


Ok, where are the propositions?

 

[cockoloco]

You go, girl! (snaps finger)

:rofl: I love you, Crescendo.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

Im not sexually attracted to camp guys at all. Its a cliche I know & its what most gay men seem to say. Which makes you wonder how these camp guys get so much action! When gays are overly camp it can come across as insincere. Its as though the real person is buried under an act. Thats off-putting to me.

I have had discussions with str8 acting men (I hate that term, whatever happened to simply being "masculine"?) from what I have found out. The more effeminate men who are less inhibited, get more action because of that very fact. When a closeted man is looking to experience sex with another man, more often than not a gay guy with less hang up's about fem or str8 acting or being gay, is the one they go for.
The experience for these men can be awkward enough with out throwing personal hang up's into the mix.

 

[cockoloco]

Good point, ex. By the same token, I wonder if straight men speaking like Neanderthals holds true.

 

[Northland]

I don't believe any man is "straight acting" when he has a dick in his mouth or ass or his dick in another man's mouth or ass, regardless of how he may speak.

Now thats just silly-how am I going to speak with your penis in my mouth? (like he didn't see that one coming) And it will seem perfectly straight-I'll just wear a football player's uniform and you can scream out "Touchdown" when you're ready to cum.

 

[heist]

In a lot of senses, masculinity/femininity is simply a social construct -- it happens because people are expected to fall into one category or the other. The whole idea behind the "gender binary" is that because most people are born either male or female, and both genders can do things the other can't, therefore we are restricted to either male/masculine or female/feminine. The binary creates the discomfort a lot of people have with trans folk -- they are crossing the strict divide that society puts between the two genders types.

With these two points in mind, we can see how someone doesn't have to be exclusively masculine or feminine, but instead they could switch between one or the other. More importantly, they may switch because they are acting according to their audience. For example, the camp guy that you dated possibly was not camp around his dormmates -- he was only camp around you (as well as other gay guys). And I definitely know a guy who has two distinct voices for when he's with friends and when he's being professional (the friend voice is very camp, and the professional voice is very deep and masculine).

Of course, this is all just sociological conjecture, so you should take it with a grain of salt. And remember, what society holds as standard isn't necessarily right -- it's just what is presently accepted. (I personally think we should promote more of a "nongendered" approach to things. There currently are the ideas of "androgyny" and "intersex," but I've never liked those because they still retain the ideas of the binary, as in androgyny, and sex.)

 

[CUBE]

Why do so many gay guys....

"OH NO U DIDN"T Jsut Say that BIiatch":tongue:

 

[sexplease]

Why do so many gay guys have feminine voices?

can you hear me now.... thister?


Perhaps, to a degree, acceptance of identity, and, thus haven't the need or desire to act and or talk in gender specific roles.

Perhaps some is nature (studies show prenatal hormones effects the physical and or the emotional gender disposition of humans )

 

[rtyuii]

it's biological!

 

[Symphonic]

I thought they were looking to Neurology for this... ?

 

[greeny]

Some of it is baseline socialization. Depending on the type of socializing the gent often takes, this may have an impact on his patterns and styles of speech. However, I would go so far as to suggest that some of this is just an inborn trait. I've spent a lot of time around kids as my best friend has taught many ages of children, and I helped her with running a daycare many years ago when she was in college. I was literally blown away at how obvious some kinds, aged 6 even, were as far as their sexuality. I'm not suggesting that children are sexually active, but being gay myself I recall very clearly that at a young age I was different -- and now I wonder if I was as "gay acting" as some of these boys and girls were. It can be very apparent.

This goes the same for men and women I have known from around the globe, certain traits are shared -- even physical traits. The term "gay face" (which is stupid but cracks me up nonetheless) to describe men and women with "stereotypically gay features" really isn't that big of a misnomer, it's true in some cases.

Feminine speech patterns may just be inherent to some gay men, the way masculine speech patterns are inherent to some gay women. It has nothing to do with their personal identification as their gender or sex, or their sexual orientation, it's just something that occurred in development. Some people are bothered by it, because they don't think men should be like women (because femininity is frowned upon, or otherwise), and it seems to be less of an issue with lesbians -- they don't care if their woman speaks like a dude!

There are many reasons, but what is most important is to remember that discriminating just for the sake of discriminating, especially within the gay community, is useless and ultimately tasteless. I understand that we all have our preferences, and things that turn us on and turn us off, and that some things are attractive or they are not, so I'm no advocating that your preferences are ill. I'm just suggesting that the discussion should continue and progress to the point that it's not a bad thing, it's just a different thing...

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

Some of it is baseline socialization. Depending on the type of socializing the gent often takes, this may have an impact on his patterns and styles of speech. However, I would go so far as to suggest that some of this is just an inborn trait. I've spent a lot of time around kids as my best friend has taught many ages of children, and I helped her with running a daycare many years ago when she was in college. I was literally blown away at how obvious some kinds, aged 6 even, were as far as their sexuality. I'm not suggesting that children are sexually active, but being gay myself I recall very clearly that at a young age I was different -- and now I wonder if I was as "gay acting" as some of these boys and girls were. It can be very apparent.

This goes the same for men and women I have known from around the globe, certain traits are shared -- even physical traits. The term "gay face" (which is stupid but cracks me up nonetheless) to describe men and women with "stereotypically gay features" really isn't that big of a misnomer, it's true in some cases.

Feminine speech patterns may just be inherent to some gay men, the way masculine speech patterns are inherent to some gay women. It has nothing to do with their personal identification as their gender or sex, or their sexual orientation, it's just something that occurred in development. Some people are bothered by it, because they don't think men should be like women (because femininity is frowned upon, or otherwise), and it seems to be less of an issue with lesbians -- they don't care if their woman speaks like a dude!

There are many reasons, but what is most important is to remember that discriminating just for the sake of discriminating, especially within the gay community, is useless and ultimately tasteless. I understand that we all have our preferences, and things that turn us on and turn us off, and that some things are attractive or they are not, so I'm no advocating that your preferences are ill. I'm just suggesting that the discussion should continue and progress to the point that it's not a bad thing, it's just a different thing...

*loves it*

 

[FuzzyKen]

The whole stereotype by percentage of the community is not really all that accurate.

It is said that something like 10% of the world popluation or humanity is gay. Additional research done many decades ago determined that 10% of that 10% were "flamingly flambouyant" and effeminate in body language and speach pattern.

Some gay men are so far "under the gaydar" that you don't know or do not read the body language to figure it out. This gives a false impression that the majority are easily identifiable.

Gay Rodeo was an area where one could see the great diversity of the community a great deal more clearly. Many of the guys who were the competitors hated the "drag acts" and other things that were normally associated with the gay lifestyle. As one who was involved in this in a "management" capacity, I can tell you that the real "flamers" are in fact a minority within the community, but they are often a very "vocal" minority so they give the false impression that they are more numerous than they really are simply because they are "out there" for many to see.

It is an unknown thing and to me it is not a negative, just something that makes the community more diverse than many think.

 

[116504]

I've read the first page of this thread and briefly read the last page so sorry if this has been brought up. Are you guys referring to the "gay lisp", which is something I too wondered why people develop it.

Gay lisp - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Gowheels]

Some guys are born with it, just the way they are and others learn it from hanging out with other fem sounding and acting guys. I know a guy that was born and raised in a town of 5000 people in South Dakota. It was a farm and ranch town. The guy sounds like Richard Simmons!
When I was 17 I met a guy who was 17 also. He went to a school about 10 miles from mine. He was the stud jock on his football team. We screwed around 12 times during our senior year. After graduation I never saw him again. 4 1/2 years later I ran into him in a gay bar on capitol hill in Seattle, WA. He had transformed into a flamer. He had the wrist action and sweet girly voice. He had lived in that big gay community for years and just picked up the walk and talk. Some people can move to the south from the north and pick up that southern drawl also.
So that gay tone can be with a guy for different reasons.

 

[B_Monster]

Ive known straight men who talk like girls, it not just gay men.

Why do so many gay guys have feminine voices? I've been doing the online dating site stuff lately and I usually ask a guy if he's mas or fem because I'm not attracted to fem. Nothing against guys who are but that's just me. But the guys always say they're masculine and nobody can tell they're gay. But when I end up meeting them, I can tell from the first word out of their mouth. Kinda sounds like a valley girl.

Why is this so common with gay guys?

And BTW, I wouldn't ditch a guy for this reason alone. I could look past it if everything else was cool.

 

[Jovial]

Do some gay men have this "gay lisp" in non-English languages also?