Why do some people have to hate on..

crescendo69

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This is not really a select issue. "Hating" in this sense is analogous to disliking someone because they are endowed, charming, attractive, intelligent, and so on.

So long as the reaction is without provocation, it is a good indication that the person is trying to justify why you possess something they do not, and ameliorate the concept.

A person might be youthful and affluent, but if they are an arrogant asshole and had everything dropped in their lap, that is not nearly as bad to come to grips with. It helps devalue the person with greater perceived social status or worth.

I hate people with bigger vocabularies than I.:biggrin1:
 

B_crackoff

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Being successful at a young age?

I've encountered it many times before here on LPSG (and out on the streets) where some people feel the need to put young men & women down and judging them so harshly.

I know jealousy is an issue but sometimes it seems deeper than that. I understand that the current economy isn't the best but should people stop living the way they do because someone else is financially unstable?

I think that its called rubbing people's faces in your good fortune, & their misfortune!

If someone is flaunting their success, knowingly, or unknowingly, they are still wankers. "Hey look, I'm a millionaire, & I'm only 20" - see how many hates that gets on FB:smile:

Isn't it negative commentary as well as positive commentary that defines current social norms? No one really knows just how much they're offensive & an ass until a heap of people across the spectrum tell them.
 

HungThickProf

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Envy is a part of us all, so it happens, suck it up. Fat people may hate on slim people a bit. The poor may hate on the rich a bit. But you never hear about this happening to a wealthy man who is humble. Why? Because if you have a fortune, or a perfect body, it needs to be realized that it can be lost overnight. If you flaunt your wealth, then expect for some people to flaunt their envy.

You're right! The economy isn't doing very well, and no, that doesn't mean that you should stop living your life. But if you've never struggled financially, or had a job where you believed that you had job security- lost it and your home, then you can't understand what it's like to be on the outside looking in. Everyone at some point takes a risk, more so financially. And it either works out, or it doesn't. I'm proud that you're successful at such a young age. Good for you =) But it doesn't make you better than anyone.

I'm not accusing you of feeling that way, I'm just saying- most people aren't going to hate unless you're flaunting.
 

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My ex husband insisted on maintaining a relationship with someone from his county who graduated from THAT university, then worked at THAT strategy consulting firm; then went on to THAT graduate business school; went back to THAT consulting firm.......got out with a big ass job (by virtue of their alumni system) constantly talking about how without her personal assistant she wouldn't know if she was coming or going.......

Socially, with us, in any case, she was rude, neither she nor her husband could be bothered to RSVP, when you asked about it, she would claim she was so busy (no apologies here). We learned that her childhood friend and university flatmate who chose mommy track was completely dissed by this woman.......

These days I read that she is CEO of a company that is being fined by the government for poor business practices........

I don't care how successful you are, if we are friends, you will reutrn my phone calls, you will initiate social outings and so on as I will do for you.

I never lose sight of the fact that friendship is a relationship of two equals. If you feel the need to remind me hw successful you are and/or how valuable your time is (compared to mine), well, then we just can't be friends.
 
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badger2395

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I don't care how successful you are, if we are friends, you will reutrn my phone calls, you will initiate social outings and so on as I will do for you.

I never lose sight of the fact that friendship is a relationship of two equals. If you feel the need to remind me hw successful you are and/or how valuable your time is (compared to mine), well, then we just can't be friends.

Quoted for truth. Absolutely - exactly how I feel about it. Letting differences in social standing get in the way of mutual friendship is essentially saying that the friendship is less important. Who would want that?
 

B_625girth

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envy. and altho I know it's not impossible, most young successful people, especially around here, are successful due to mommy & daddy's helping hand.

perhaps a better question, is why do people have to hate on people who have worked 30+yrs to be successful??? make their money and retire in their 50's. that's what I did, and about 1/3 of my friends are happy for me, the other 2/3rds hate me, and few can't stand me and would probably like to kill me. I on the other hand, I have always been happy for my friends when they have been successful, and wish all the best for my friends.
 

rbkwp

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by my reckoning the better persons of wealth ( philanthropists )
go about there biz, sharing it as annonymously as possible huh
braggards are there opposites of course

for many years i despised the wealthy
then i realized some earnt it by fair hard honest work
others, well i dont need to say huh...

fr the younger working brigade
i just wish them the very very best
many Govts and there policys, are going to be that generations WORST enemy
i feel..
enz

eg
christchurch NZ rebuilding
do you think the nz govt will reintroduce the apprenticeship scheme
could employ thousands of young, as future tradesmen...
a year on and not a mention ..
all a case of .. whats in it for me
 

Phil Ayesho

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Without provocation? Yes, people who dog on successful young people are likely harboring some sort of jealousy or unrestrained envy.

JSZ

um... again... folks who act like dicks seldom recognize how their behavior comes across to others.

You can defend it all you want, think yourself perfect, and ascribe it all to jealousy... go ahead... but that doesn't mean you are correct in doing so.

Sure... SOME of it is jealousy, with some people. In fact, a lot of folks will be jealous... but, as an artist who has had a lot of success, I never saw anyone jealous of my success, other than a handful of other artists.

Folks NOT in my field never show jealousy, because they tend to think my talent at something they can not do warrants my success.


When folks who have no evident reason to be jealous of you seem to begrudge your success... it is because they perceive ( rightly or wrongly) that you are no smarter than they... that you do not work any harder, or even as hard as they, or that your success is likely largely due to either a stroke of pure luck, or some advantage you had that they did not.

...or to some unethical action on your part.

frankly, I have met a lot of folks who made themselves rich... two thirds of them can trace their success to one or two events in which they did something questionable because the opportunity presented... for example, one made 3 million dollars because he was the realtor for a rural property the owner did not know was being scouted for some large corporate campus... as his realtor, he should have brought the deal to him... instead, he bought the property, himself, thru a dummy corporation he created for the purpose, and then sold the property for 3 million more than he paid- he lied to the person he was legally supposed to be representing.
Some would say he was just capitalizing on the information he had that no one else had... that's business... but in fact it was a dick move... it revealed his true character as unscrupulous, ruthless, and untrustworthy...

Most people who knew this guy were unaware of how he made his first 3 million....( i found out thru his son ) but they ALL thought he was a dick.

Trust me... folks opinion of him was not founded on jealousy over his money... it was because you can not really hide the fact that you are a dick.



So... if you're a dick, at heart... there's not much you can do about that... but its not jealousy over the fact that you are more successful... it just folks reacting to you being a dick.

And, if it IS jealousy... often its jealousy founded in the fact that folks who know you can SEE that you are not any brighter or more able than they... that you just have had good luck... or a head start.

Sometimes its jealousy over the fact that you Are more able... but that would only be seen in folks who can tell that... your professional peers.

But the once scenario you CAN do something about, is when that jealousy or ill feeling is founded in your own attitude that you are more successful BECAUSE you are better... because you work harder, or are smarter, or are just more capable.


It MAY be true... but to rub folks face in it is to act like a dick.

Most often, it is Not true... you were just in the right place at the right time... ( be that in applying for a career making job, or being born into an affluent and/or well connected family ) in which case lording it over others about how you DESERVE to be better off is just being a dick.

Usually, it takes a reversal to teach young upstarts how much of their good fortune is fortuitous, and they become less conceited.
But you can also just examine your own behavior and try to asses whether you are allowing your good fortune to turn into an assumption of privilege being deserved.
Like all those conservative assholes who imagine the poor are poor because they just don't work hard enough. ( no one works harder than a migrant field worker )

To feel you Deserve the wealth you have because you are better is the self centered attitude that lead to the notion of aristocracy, or class division.

Its bullshit.

I was born into a middle class, white family in California in the middle of the baby boom... the greatest period of growth in middle class wealth.

My parents had a home because of the G.I. bill ( a government assistance program) my country's wealth was growing because of the Interstate highway program, a government jobs and infrastructure program that tripled the GNP of the US and pumped billions into the blue collar working class, whose purchases fueled my father's rise in retail. I attended one of the best public high schools in the country, because government spending on schools was at a peak in the state I was being educated in.
And I managed to have my own first home thanks to financial assistance in the form of money from my grandfather and parents... and their allowing me to live with them for a few years at low cost.

All of these things that I had that billions did not, that I had nothing to do with other than the good fortune of being born into them, gave me an advantage that most of the worlds population never had.


Sure, I did something with that advantage, I made my own success in a small way...

But I have no way of knowing if I could have overcome the ennui and desperation of being born into poverty... that circumstance might have left me as bleak and frustrated as it does most people who suffer it.

And I have no way of knowing what I might have achieved had my parents been able to buy me my first car at no cost to me... or send me to an ivy league school where I would have met a different class of people, or help me get a plum position, or finance my first venture...

Or, how far I might have gone if I were more willing to act unethically, or commit a crime, or fuck over someone who trusted me...


I don't know how different circumstances I might have been born into, or might have been born into me might have resulted in very different outcomes...

and neither do you.


Maybe you're more capable than the average... but you almost certainly had advantage before you even started.

And how many people, even smarter than you, more capable, more driven, are left stymied by disadvantage that no amount of pure pluck can overcome?

Either way... thinking you have it better because you 'earned it' all on your own is certainly not the whole picture... and it makes you tend to look down on everyone who doesn't share your circumstances.

And THAT would make you a dick.


go ahead, Call others haters.

But the well-off often act pretty hateful.
The GOP, for example.
 

D_Rufus_D_Dufus

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Well actually here's the story since some of you think that I'm a trust fund baby and haven't busted my ass to be successful..

I was born in a small city on the borderline of Los Angeles & Orange County. My dad passed away when I was eight ( he had cancer, two strokes, and a heart attack before I was even born and in a wheelchair since up until he died). My mom worked as a part-time (3-4 hours a day) playground monitor at my school up until I went to middle school then she went full-time working with disabled children. My mom is very thrifty with money so she made sure we had dinner on the table every night, but I only got one pair of new shoes a year.

At 15 I got my first job at a pizza place so I didn't have to ask my mom for money to buy lunch at school. When I graduated High School my mom offered to pay for me so that I could attend community college and I declined because I didn't want her to touch the savings she had.

I ended up getting married at 18 and went to real estate school. Sold a few houses to the point that we can afford our own and bought one in Newport Beach from a woman who was divorcing her husband and just wanted to get rid of the house. Once my clientele started growing my wife decided she wanted to quit the salon she was working at and open her own. So we did..

We now live in Los Angeles, I've opened up not one but three real estate offices (OC, LA, & NY) and have a few hundred employees. My wife owns two salons and is getting in the works to open another.

We haven't had it easy.. I wasn't born into a wealthy family, I've been working since I was 15. I've struggled and probably have been thru more than what some people have.

And to clear things up, I am very humble. Of course I have my moments where I can be an ass, but doesn't everyone?

If you read all my posts on here I've never said I'm better than anyone else.
 

tater_tot_man

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People are going to hate no matter what. Whether you're a successful entrepreneur or some no-class gutter cunt reality star (see: Jersey Shore kids) there will always be people out there envying the success one has. I spent years clawing my way up my industry doing entry level bitch work and paying my dues until I became the Chief Executive Bitch I am today, and now I'm reaping the rewards I've toiled so hard for. If people are mad or jealous or think I'm undeserving of the luxuries I give myself as a reward for a job well done well they can go fuck themselves. I'm not going to apologize for the fact that I busted my ass getting to where I am now in my life and that I'm making some nice coin.

People need to get their heads out of their ass.
 

earllogjam

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Being rich ain't all what it's cracked up to be. It's not the path to happiness that everyone believes it to be.

People who need to flaunt their wealth usually have some other insecurity they need to make up for.
 
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dude_007

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People are filled with anger these days. It is everywhere. Do not think you are special because you are getting hated on. It's in the air. Be happy, and the rest will be what it will be.
 

nedly32

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how could some one hate you .you worked hard you were careing and loveing of your mom at a young age that initself is awsome that you wanted to do it allon your own and were concerned about your moms future by not useing your moms savings tobetter your life but doing it on your own ive seen poor and middle working class parents kids take and take from there parents and go noware in this world or just are a bunch of spoiled brats that grow up thinking the world owes them and they owe nothing to nobody not even there parents that slaved for them you also keep over 200 people employed thats fantastic guy you deseve what you have and fuck those haters if your story happend as you say and i m not douting you at all your then a decent careing person that is making good in this world with your wealth
 

D_Percy_Prettywillie

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SOME of it is jealousy, with some people. In fact, a lot of folks will be jealous.



Yep, that's exactly what I think too. Thanks for agreeing with me. :biggrin1:


(See how annoying it is to take the trouble of writing a handful of paragraphs only to have them mischaracterized by their quotations only containing a sentence or two? You and I agreed that likely as not there was some form of provocation for people to behave and react in the way described. I went immediately on to say so after the one sentence you quoted and concluded with the suggestion the very existences of this thread would be provocation enough for some not dissimilar to asking "Why do chicks hate my giant horse cock?" )



JSZ
 

umami_tsunami

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I don't like people that act entitled to better treatment than others. Many people born into a privileged financial position in society behave this way. Not all do, but many become inculcated from a young age to expect a fast track to everything. Others may acquire wealth early and act immaturely. There are countless examples of the wealthy paying to cut the line, or avoid unpleasant things that the less fortunate endure. It's easy to see how this causes envy and dislike, but it also motivates innovation and productivity. I think it's particularly distasteful when the serially wealthy look with disdain on the less fortunate and can't understand why they can't "pull themselves up by their bootstraps". Those people are just greedy, ignorant and frequently tiny-minded.

If someone equates the thickness of their wallet with their value as a person, they are frequently an asshole.

I love Great John Steinbeck quote that helps understand why the middle class and working class often vote against their own interests (and keep the exploitive, republican party political message alive).

“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires”

edit: Phil Ayesho, as always, nails it.
 

Bbucko

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If you define success strictly in materialistic terms then you should expect a certain amount of opprobrium. Success is much more than a nice house, car and a bankbook with lots of zeros after the first five numbers.
 

Phil Ayesho

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Well actually here's the story since some of you think that I'm a trust fund baby and haven't busted my ass to be successful..


And to clear things up, I am very humble. Of course I have my moments where I can be an ass, but doesn't everyone?

If you read all my posts on here I've never said I'm better than anyone else.

I wasn't really addressing you, in particular. I was addressing the copious posters who claimed it was all just jealousy and envy.

I should point out that I am not speaking without experience, either. I was very successful at what I do at a very young age... I was one of the top earners in my field for a good number of years and often noticed that other people reacted to me or my success badly...

I also, early on, ascribed it entirely to jealousy...

It is rare to see someone at that age who has accomplished that much... people's normal reaction often is that it was handed to you, or you are selling crack in secret. So even a certain amount of jealousy is understandable.

However... there is still a lot of good luck in your success, as there was in my own. Just the fact that your start in real estate happened when it did, and did not put you in an untenable position when it all went kablooey is pure luck, no matter how much good judgement you showed.

You may think you are humble... but it really matters more what others think in this regard.

I am telling you... when a young person experiences a long period ( for them ) of steady success and ever increasing growth in income, security, career, etc... they get a "buzz" about them... and their self confidence grows.

And often, it grows in ways that rankle other people.

Some of this is the self centered assumption of your own brilliance, talent, or gumption...

Some of this is simply the decisive execution of your own personal will, that is a necessary trait of anyone who is successful in any venture.

Burgeoning self confidence often comes cross to others as arrogance.
And, in fact, that is a good functional definition of arrogance.


If you came from hard circumstances, then you are even MORE likely to assume that your success is entirely the result of your own abilities, and even more likely to assume that those less successful simply lack those abilities.

Sooner or later, you will suffer a reversal in some degree. That is the nature of all business.
At that point you may become more conscious of how much events entirely out of your hands shape both your successes and your failures.

But, chances are, people's reactions are also to the way you carry yourself.

In some respects you can not help it. You are an employer... you have to exercise authority and your wishes must be complied with for your operation to run.
But the exercise of authority can become a habit of how you interact with people, even when not their boss.

I am not wagging a finger at you, but feeling compassion for your situation.
as someone who has had the buzz of success, and had to deal with realizing it being largely just the pure coincidence of my own talents stumbling across a rare opportunity at just the right time in an art market, I can tell you this...

The very personality traits that most often translate into self employed success are, in fact, personality traits that other people often find offensive, annoying, or insufferable.


All I can tell you is that, once I started examining my own interactions, I softened considerably and I now seldom have the adverse reaction I used to get. I also became happier, less stressed, and less concerned with stuff that matters less to me than my relationships. Less of a perfectionist, I guess.

I now mostly observe with bemusement as a new employee goes thru an arc of, at first, imagining me arrogant and demanding, only to come around to a different understanding of me as they see how I handle their inevitable mistakes, crises, or strengths.

But I am telling you that you have both a contribution and a responsibility for the way others take you.

And if you seem to get a LOT of one kind of reaction... and you don't want that reaction... then you might have to learn to modify your way of interacting with people in general... or when not in the role of being boss.


Or, you can do what most successful people do... simply stop caring about what other people think or feel and grow more conservative and isolated.

You will find that other people who own businesses will tend to tolerate you and understand you better, while those who will never own their own business will tend to see you as aloof, arrogant, and self absorbed.

You can buy into the gated community with the private golf course, and keep the rest of humanity out, both physically and spiritually... until you become as uncaring and as assumptive of your own superiority as the Kock bros and their whole milieu.

But that will not mean you are not a dick

The rich and successful tend to harden themselves to those less fortunate.
It is really rare for someone to attain success, and yet remain in sympathy with the fact that other people simply have not had the good luck that you have, or have more modest ambitions, and that they are every bit as worthy as you are.

But its up to you... if you go the country club route, though, the one thing you need to know is this... as a member of the privileged enclave of the very well off.... you will not lack for company... it will simply be a group of 'friends' 66% of whom would be willing to cut you off at the knees if you stood between them and a pile of cash.
 

HungThickProf

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Please understand that I'm not trying to judge or punch you in the face, but it does seem as if you flaunt just a bit. And you may not notice, and if so that's cool. I know young millionaires- went to middle school and high school with one. He's a nice guy, and one thing I have to give him credit for is the fact that he's never been one to brag about his success, the money that he has, or the expensive purchases that he's made. After reading you response post, I felt a little bad, and maybe I was a bit judgmental. I took a look at your past posts, and I came across this one that was posted in May of this year.

"Help! I've created a "Monster"..
I know this is long but I'm giving you the back story.


My wife and I have been in a relationship since I was 18 (I am now 25) and she was 21 (now 28) & we got married five years ago. I was young and just out of high school and just starting my real estate business. When we decided to buy a house we moved to a exclusive area off Newport Coast. She was working in an upscale salon and I was doing really well in the real estate market. This it where it begins...

Once my business took off she quit the salon and I helped her open her own and it quickly became very successful. Meanwhile I felt that I was maxed out in the Orange County real estate market decided to venture in to the upscale neighborhoods of Los Angeles. After about a year of driving back & forth I decided it would be best if we moved to LA & and she agreed that she would also like to open a salon in that area as well. We purchased our current home and I opened another of my offices in Beverly Hills. I then helped her get established in opening a new salon and it was doing very well. My office in LA was doing much better than the one in Orange county and many of my clients urged me to open a office in NY since they either were looking to purchase or sell. I agreed & did what I had to do to start an office in NY and when I left to NY and came back things started to change...

Now that we live in Los Angeles I think my wife feels the constant pressure to "Keep up the Joneses". When we lived back in Orange County it wasn't really like that with us. She first wanted a new car, not just any car but one that made heads turn. I bought her a white convertable. Next she wanted a bigger diamond ring. I quadrupled the size of her previous one. Then she started shopping at all the high-end designers. To me it was all materialistic so it didn't matter, but now she's talking about getting botox & breast implants & liposuction and all this other plastic surgery stuff that I don't agree with. I fell in lover with her the way she was and I don't want her to change. I feel like moving to LA I created a "monster" & I feel extremely guily that I turned her into it. I've tried to tell her how I feel and we end up arguing and fighting about it. She tells me that it's her body and she can do whatever she wants. She always says "this person's husband was all for it and this person's husband was all for that ect ect.."

Can anyone please give me maybe a different approach on how I can handle this "monster" that my wife has turned into?"

In this post, you spoke about your wife becoming a bit materialistic, and it didn't matter to you. I point this out because you've stated that you're humble, and yet half of this story has nothing to do with your wife, but your business ventures. When it does get to your wife, you state that she was trying to "keep up with the Joneses". You bought her a hot white convertible, and a huge diamond. Were those important details? No, but you decided to include them. And back in March of this year, you posted pictures in your profile of your home, with your hot ass Bentley (I love the Bentley!).

So, I'm not knocking you or your success. Kudos to you, and I hope to be a young success as well. But maybe people aren't hating on your success. Maybe they're hating on your constant reminders.

Think about it this way for just a moment. Someone in this forum logs on to this site to just unwind and escape their day to day life, and read your post asking for help about your wife. This person went to college, worked full-time as they were earning their degree, and is now trying to pay off debts and work a job that they didn't even get their degree in because there just doesn't seem to be anything out there for them. Instead of reading about the issue that you're having, they're reading about the lavish lifestyle you now lead. So instead of asking "why do some people have to hate on...?" Ask yourself,"what am I doing for them to hate?"

Just my two cents. Take care dude

Dante
 

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I don't think age has anything to do with it at all. It might make someone hate on you more, but the reality is that everyone on the planet wants to look good and have a fat wallet. Those who don't have it might covet yours. It's as simple as that. They even create laws to "redistribute *"the"* (ie. YOUR) wealth. Get used to it now while you're young and save yourself much grief.