So I admit I would classify myself as having a learning disability on the aspire/autistic spectrum it has been very hardcore me to establish sexual relationships with women. What I have read is that it is the norm with people who come across men classify them as socially awkward and women call them "creeps and losers"(again this is what I have read in documented articles) I guess the thing I hate most is I believe "socially awkward" is just a learning disability and people who look down on others are discriminant towards them. A man shouldn't be classified as a loser or creep because he has a learning disability and has trouble flirting or making that connection rapport with a woman when he approaches her. I really feel bad for women who think that way towards men. To me I personally feel like saying well maybe your first born will have the same issue and they can come to you and be all upset when people(not just men) think that they are weird creepy etc...
cofrader
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It’s a hard question but I give it a try.
First loose the hate, it doesn’t help.
Second woman probably will judge on a split second like any other men without realizing you have a condition, and some will reject you the fastest they can and sometimes on a rude way.
It sucks but I all you can say to yourself is thank you for pointing how not to do it try again with the next one.
Even the most successful guys crash and burned more times than they can count.
Now from the woman perspective perhaps she is unavailable.
On a pragmatic point of view you are looking for sex and she can be looking for a partner.
Try activities that stretch your social skills (theater perhaps ) and work hard.
First loose the hate, it doesn’t help.
Second woman probably will judge on a split second like any other men without realizing you have a condition, and some will reject you the fastest they can and sometimes on a rude way.
It sucks but I all you can say to yourself is thank you for pointing how not to do it try again with the next one.
Even the most successful guys crash and burned more times than they can count.
Now from the woman perspective perhaps she is unavailable.
On a pragmatic point of view you are looking for sex and she can be looking for a partner.
Try activities that stretch your social skills (theater perhaps ) and work hard.
halcyondays
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The first thing to say is there's enormous prejudice against disabled individuals regardless of gender.
Humans are an animal species. Our behavior is animal behavior. So when it comes to mate selection a woman is looking for the best possible man she can get. Disabled men are not the best. Disability will be seen as a negative unless it results in one being a savant which draws fame and attention (high social status).
I am not disabled and my lifetime failure rate asking women out is twenty to one. My advice to you is the same I give to any man: ask women out. Don't take rejection personally. Leave your ego out of it. If a woman says no then thank her kindly for her consideration and move on to the next. No one owes you anything just for asking.
Men ask, women say no. The only way to find the ones who say yes is by asking. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Asking is the net which catches the ones interested in being caught by you--and that interest may not last past a first date.
It doesn't matter if women think you're a creep or loser because of your disability. The only thing that matters is that you don't think you're a creep or loser because of it.
Humans are an animal species. Our behavior is animal behavior. So when it comes to mate selection a woman is looking for the best possible man she can get. Disabled men are not the best. Disability will be seen as a negative unless it results in one being a savant which draws fame and attention (high social status).
I am not disabled and my lifetime failure rate asking women out is twenty to one. My advice to you is the same I give to any man: ask women out. Don't take rejection personally. Leave your ego out of it. If a woman says no then thank her kindly for her consideration and move on to the next. No one owes you anything just for asking.
Men ask, women say no. The only way to find the ones who say yes is by asking. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Asking is the net which catches the ones interested in being caught by you--and that interest may not last past a first date.
It doesn't matter if women think you're a creep or loser because of your disability. The only thing that matters is that you don't think you're a creep or loser because of it.
If you are socially awkward you can't be a winner. Thus, you are a loser. I should know.
.
The creep part depends on the type of awkward. I don't think I was usually particularly creepy.
marriedasian
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i personally think that it's a social stigma that women have passed down through generations... even borderline feministic by nature in pre-qualifying any men without social skills as a creeper or loser...
with that said, i think women are just too naturally cautious by nature and when they see someone (especially a guy) who can't seem to blend well in public, they just think the worse scenario and automatically label him as a creep or loser. you really can't blame the women for acting this way however it's not an excuse either.
i think it's just overall very hard to properly diagnose a real creeper from a socially-inept guy so by default guys in these cases get the short end of the stick so i would simply advise they type of guys to try and get out more. it will only help them more in the long run when it matters.
the world is cruel and this is just one piece of reality we all have to face and make better.
with that said, i think women are just too naturally cautious by nature and when they see someone (especially a guy) who can't seem to blend well in public, they just think the worse scenario and automatically label him as a creep or loser. you really can't blame the women for acting this way however it's not an excuse either.
i think it's just overall very hard to properly diagnose a real creeper from a socially-inept guy so by default guys in these cases get the short end of the stick so i would simply advise they type of guys to try and get out more. it will only help them more in the long run when it matters.
the world is cruel and this is just one piece of reality we all have to face and make better.
Women from an early age are sized up as sex objects. Old enuf to fuck? Would lf I fuck her? Would she fuck me? Boy, I wouldn't fuck her!
And they're smaller and weaker and vulnerable. And gotta get sick of all the crap.
Hell yes there on the defensive, ya sometimes they head off an assumed pass with rudeness ya, sometimes they're wrong--who ain't!
Please
I tend to think that's terrible advice. Women shouldn't be a numbers game at all. If you're getting rejected the majority of the time you need to look at Your self and see what you're doing wrong
wallyj84
Superior Member
All you could be doing wrong is just not being that person's type. The average guy is only going to be attractive to a relatively small group of people. So your chances of finding anyone in that group is small and made even smaller by the fact that you won't be attracted to everyone in that group. That is why dating is a numbers game
Yes but that doesn't mean you have to put yourself in a position where you will be rejected. Learn to read the signs, by the time you get to the point of asking someone out it should be pretty obvious there is chemistry
wallyj84
Superior Member
It really depends on the situation. If you do a lot of online dating, as a man, you will be sending a lot of emails that get ignored. That is rejection and can't be avoided. If you are doing a "cold approach", I think you will face a lot of rejection as well. I could see you avoiding rejection if you only go out with friends, but how many people really do that?
It's possible I'm just spoilt in my experience. Never done any online dating. Only in person or on social media
A lot of guys are real creeps.
I remember in high school this loser made a whole Facebook album dedicated to the girls he found attractive. After I called him out he deleted the album and called me a faggot. Let’s just say after I confronted his pussy ass he never called me that again
I remember in high school this loser made a whole Facebook album dedicated to the girls he found attractive. After I called him out he deleted the album and called me a faggot. Let’s just say after I confronted his pussy ass he never called me that again
Some women are attracted to a certain degree of social awkwardness in a man because of their own deficits or self perception of low status. Or, they may want such a man thinking they can control him or have power in the relationship,ie. wear the pants. They might think they can help him perform better socially and think they base the relationship on that. High status, women are more likely to want a high status man. Socially awkward men have to be really outstanding in some solitary skills to have any status at all.
I should have read the OP's post instead of just Wally's.
Social awkwardness due to a learning disability on the autistic spectrum might be very different from the possibly more frequent awkwardness caused by high social anxiety.
The former case might have the wherewithal for social interaction, but just be "making mistakes" or not noticing cues, etc. The latter might be suffering from the results of emotional traumas in development or some more inherent deficit that causes anxiety. He (or she too) might know what to do or say socially, but is just too nervous in a social situation to "pull it off."
However, again, most people, women and men included, are attracted to people with high status. Obviously, a person who has a lot of difficulty functioning socially is not going to be perceived as having high status, ie. winners. Social success is what determines status, but there is a market for a certain degree of low status as I broached in prior posts.
Thus, the OP's awkwardness possibly could be cured via intensive learning. In the case of high anxiety, psychological treatment to reduce the anxiety would probably be necessary.
I agree a great skill that brought high status would be something that might cause a disability to be looked over
Its not like a man can't get a woman if he has a disability but the combination of having a learning disability and a physical disability becomes quite the long shot.
I'm in the same boat here. I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and I've had difficulties with the ladies or just making friends. It's giving me a life of feeling lonely and sexual isolated. Creep and loser are terms I've been called as well. I just learn to enjoy my own company.
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