I seen this article that was talking about this and I thought it was very interesting. I was not aware of this. Didn't know whether to post this on ask Gay Man or Ask Straight Man, so I figured the Gay men on here have had this encounter and can elaborate. I'm so curious about this. What do you guys think the reasoning is? What can you unpack from your experience if you've had one?
I've never used Grindr myself, but I'm as baffled as you are as to why straight men would use it. I thought Grindr was supposed to be an app for men seeking men?
I'm thinking maybe guys who are closeted and in denial? Just a guess.
I'm thinking maybe guys who are closeted and in denial? Just a guess.
concupisys
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this is not exclusive to grindr..... adam4adam and growlr has straight men on them as well.... it's even listed as an orientation when setting up a profile.... the reason for this is to accommodate for people who identify as straight but are curious about exploring their homosexual tendencies.... it's basically the 'Q' in LGBTQ.... Q = questioning....
i should note that even on here, there are straight guys who explore their Q, but it's mostly in the form of bator buds and people to get naked and watch porn with together.... LPSG also has the gay/straight ratio when creating profiles.... this is just not uncommon enough to be an issue.... it's designed to promote inclusiveness and make guys who are questioning their sexuality feel more comfortable exploring this side of themselves....
i sure would like if these sites were accommodating to guys who are non-anal homosexual like me.... i'm gay, but i can't be gay and have a 'no anal' option when selecting a sex position.... the hypocrisy has no bounds.....
i should note that even on here, there are straight guys who explore their Q, but it's mostly in the form of bator buds and people to get naked and watch porn with together.... LPSG also has the gay/straight ratio when creating profiles.... this is just not uncommon enough to be an issue.... it's designed to promote inclusiveness and make guys who are questioning their sexuality feel more comfortable exploring this side of themselves....
i sure would like if these sites were accommodating to guys who are non-anal homosexual like me.... i'm gay, but i can't be gay and have a 'no anal' option when selecting a sex position.... the hypocrisy has no bounds.....
I see, that makes sense. I have a straight friend (He says he's straight anyway) who's into the tickling fetish (he's tickled me twice and will be tickling me the first week of Feb) like me. He said he's on there on occasions because that's the other way he finds guys to tickle. I didn't consider scenarios like that.
That's a very good point, I didn't consider that perspective. Nobody has it all figured out, right? Most don't, so you have to explore. Have you spoken with the straight guys on there?
It's well known that gay men on average give better blowjobs than women. Not only this, gay men are much easier to hook up with than the ground work required to bed a woman. So it's hardly surprising that some straight men would be willing to turn to gay sex because of this.
Someone told me this once. That's another good point.
I know a number of straight guys who have said that once they got married the BJs dried up. If you really love getting your cock sucked it's not easy.
Some straight guys are ok with getting their cock sucked by a guy with nothing further, he's not attracted to the guy at all, it's just a hole to use. There are tons of good cocksuckers on Grindr. That's why.
I'm one of them. Meaning one of the good cocksuckers LOL. Unscientific, but I'd say at least half the guys who hit me up on Grindr for head identify as straight or mostly straight. A couple of the them have become regular suck buddies in fact. There is absolutely zero reciprocation - in fact most of the time I don't even take my clothes off. It's 100% about them, getting their dicks sucked and loads swallowed while they watch porn or just lay back and relax. A couple of them are comfortable with me doing some body exploration, like licking and massaging their bods, sucking their balls, eating their holes out, etc. But even then it's still 100% about them - I think part of the mindset is that they're comfortable "tossing the cocksucker a bone" (no pun intended) and not having to do anything other than lay back and get their bods worshipped while also getting their dicks sucked, and knowing that I'll be grateful to maximize their load and swallow their cum, and then they can be on their way.
Mind you I live in a huge city with millions of guys so these sorts of guys are more common.
Not to offend anyone.
I think some gay men (some people in general) are a glutton for punishment or have a slave mindset - where they are perfectly content being used and taken advantage by others.
If you want me to suck your cock + tossing your salad + pampering you. You bet I want access to your bank account and a ring on my finger.
To each his own. I'm talking about 15 minute sexual encounters with dudes from a distance-based hookup app, not people I'd share season passes with to the LA Phil (let alone china patterns). I'm using them exactly as much as they're using me. In fact I'm using them more, because I control 100% of the situation up to and including whether or not he cums.
Sexuality discussions are interesting and informative because we all have different POVs and experiences; everybody's got their kinks, so it's cool. You seem dismayed and/or contemptuous about what you perceive as self-degrading or self-victimization; similarly I get exhausted when people misunderstand sexual power dynamics, or misinterpret those dynamics as representative of anything other than enjoying the sex act. Nothing else we can do but shrug and move on - we're never going to fuck so we don't have to worry about it causing friction lol.
To each his own. I'm talking about 15 minute sexual encounters with dudes from a distance-based hookup app, not people I'd share season passes with to the LA Phil (let alone china patterns). I'm using them exactly as much as they're using me. In fact I'm using them more, because I control 100% of the situation up to and including whether or not he cums.
Sexuality discussions are interesting and informative because we all have different POVs and experiences; everybody's got their kinks, so it's cool. You seem dismayed and/or contemptuous about what you perceive as self-degrading or self-victimization; similarly I get exhausted when people misunderstand sexual power dynamics, or misinterpret those dynamics as representative of anything other than enjoying the sex act. Nothing else we can do but shrug and move on - we're never going to fuck so we don't have to worry about it causing friction lol.
Some people don’t understand that good sex requires polarity.
Married men have an even harder time. Sex drive in men makes them want to get off more frequently than women. At least when you are single you can find a woman who wants it in that moment. For a married guy, he's relying on that one woman to want to have sex. Once they have kids, things completely change also.
It actually makes more sense for men to have multiple wives if they can manage them. Failing that, sex with other men is ideal. In both cases religion has prevented them from being accepted.
This is a really good question. The few times I have bottomed have always been with guys who identified/said they straight. There was one time where a guy's girlfriend/wife called while we were in the middle of business. He put his hand over my mouth to stop me from making any noises while he took the call, all without missing a beat! I felt bad and it was a buzz kill, but this guy was easily the most attractive person (man or woman) I've ever hooked up with and there was nothing I could do either way, so...yeah.
My opinion aligns with what some of the others have pointed out on here, but I'll also add that since there is the general assumption that men are less picky, less gossipy, and less emotionally attached than women, straight men can satisfy their sexual needs without (as much) rejection and drama. Also, since it is assumed that men are more sexual than women, they can easily find another man rather than having to go through date-like scenarios, discussions, etc., with another woman. A guy approaching a woman for sex is different than a (straight) guy approaching a (gay) guy for sex. With apps, they can be completely discreet beyond sending pics. We all have to admit that for many gay/bi men, sleeping with a straight man is a fantasy in itself. Therefore, straight men (generally) don't have to worry as much about being rejected over their looks and (generally) don't have to worry about another man stalking or threatening him once the deed is done. Both guys go on about their respective business with no emotional strings attached.
Lastly, however flawed or erroneous it may be, I also think that a lot of straight men categorize these flings as something other than gay hookups or cheating. Since there is no emotion or intimacy involved, it is simply them fulfilling their base sexual needs with another person.
My opinion aligns with what some of the others have pointed out on here, but I'll also add that since there is the general assumption that men are less picky, less gossipy, and less emotionally attached than women, straight men can satisfy their sexual needs without (as much) rejection and drama. Also, since it is assumed that men are more sexual than women, they can easily find another man rather than having to go through date-like scenarios, discussions, etc., with another woman. A guy approaching a woman for sex is different than a (straight) guy approaching a (gay) guy for sex. With apps, they can be completely discreet beyond sending pics. We all have to admit that for many gay/bi men, sleeping with a straight man is a fantasy in itself. Therefore, straight men (generally) don't have to worry as much about being rejected over their looks and (generally) don't have to worry about another man stalking or threatening him once the deed is done. Both guys go on about their respective business with no emotional strings attached.
Lastly, however flawed or erroneous it may be, I also think that a lot of straight men categorize these flings as something other than gay hookups or cheating. Since there is no emotion or intimacy involved, it is simply them fulfilling their base sexual needs with another person.
hairybubblebum
Admired Member
Lol cracks me up that people consider them selves straight with my cock in their mouth.
Correction: some straight guys don't use grindr. Some guys who think they are straight, use grindr. Thinking doesn't change the reality.
Few reason i have came across like gay guys easy for hook ups, a guy gives good bjs, etc etc. Those are nothing but escaping mentality. Bj is clearly a sexual act and in that act if a guy likes another guy, definitely not straight.
In the scale of 0=straight to 100=gay, very very few stand on exact 0 or 100, but think as 0 or 100 just satisfy their ego.
Sometimes i have found it's lack of knowledge. Some profile says "i am straight, means i am top". I had conversation with 2 of them. The said they are straight, they have girlfriend, and they are not gay. Yet they are on grindr. So they are saying that they are top.
I am .
Few reason i have came across like gay guys easy for hook ups, a guy gives good bjs, etc etc. Those are nothing but escaping mentality. Bj is clearly a sexual act and in that act if a guy likes another guy, definitely not straight.
In the scale of 0=straight to 100=gay, very very few stand on exact 0 or 100, but think as 0 or 100 just satisfy their ego.
Sometimes i have found it's lack of knowledge. Some profile says "i am straight, means i am top". I had conversation with 2 of them. The said they are straight, they have girlfriend, and they are not gay. Yet they are on grindr. So they are saying that they are top.
I am .
I think we all need to move beyond such black and white labels of the past.
Gay, straight or bisexual are simply inadequate and divisive. The fact that people care shows that people are holding on to some negative emotion that isn't productive.
I can understand why some feel so strongly because they were made to feel that being gay was wrong and to come out and claim that label was so pivotal. But now we need to move to the point where it doesn't matter what gender our sexual partners are and we can go between the two without judgement or shame.
Gay, straight or bisexual are simply inadequate and divisive. The fact that people care shows that people are holding on to some negative emotion that isn't productive.
I can understand why some feel so strongly because they were made to feel that being gay was wrong and to come out and claim that label was so pivotal. But now we need to move to the point where it doesn't matter what gender our sexual partners are and we can go between the two without judgement or shame.
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