Why do women get so serious??

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_Bonky, Jul 25, 2009.

  1. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    So I've been dating these three women for about 6-8 months. I met them all on internet sex sites so they were basically booty calls. Sex on the first 'date,' that sort of thing. But each of them has gotten all gaga about our relationship. And then, of course, the drama starts. :(

    Why is it that women can't seem to be only kinda-interested in a guy. They are either not interested at all, or they fall super in-love. And these aren't young chicks, they're mid-30s to early 40s.

    On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being not interested at all, 10 being totally in love, it seems that women are either 1 or 10. Guys can hold at about 5... he's kinda into you, kinda not. Willing to drive to see you and have a good time and enjoy you, etc. But he doesn't pine for you when you two are apart and he doesn't get all dramatic when there's a slight problem. He doesn't ask who you've been out with and really doesn't care.

    Why can't women be this way? I want nice, fun, relaxing, casual relationships with no drama. The worst part is when the girl falls in love, because then all the fun leaves, she becomes neurotic, clingy and jealous, and I'm constantly having to put out fires with all these different chicks.

    "Where were you Friday night?" "Why were you 15 minutes late tonight?" "Where is this relationship going?" "Why don't you ever say you love me?" "You didn't get me anything for our [X]-month anniversary!" "Why don't we spend more time together?" "Why don't you call?" etc etc etc.

    Where are all the women who can be just *kinda* into a guy? I mean it's cute, charming, and ultimately pathetic that women fall in love so completely, but damn.... the fun just goes OUT the window when that happens. And every single one of these girls and I met on internet sex sites, not on harmony.com or at a wedding or something, so I can't imagine that I'm fooling them as to my desires.

    sux :( :mad:
     
  2. Principessa

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    It's just not how many of us are wired. If we were wired to be a '5' as you put it, the human race would cease to exist in about 50 years.

    The better question is why are you stringing along 3 women just for sex. Why not just join a sex club or hire prostitutes. That way you don't have to deal with any emotions. :rolleyes: :yuck:
     
  3. B_BabyJoy09

    B_BabyJoy09 New Member

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    Because thats what ppl do, fall in love with someone after only so long. Seriously get over it then, if your looking for sex, then find someone who's looking for the same thing! You said that you have relationships with all these women, sounds like you might be dating them? I would assume so. (But why 3 at the same time???) Relationships start to get more serious after X amount of time, thats how relationships and bonds increase, nobody wants a stagnant relationship, because then theres no point to it!!!!! Sounds like you want a booty call, then keep it at that and don't start any relationships. Your wasting your time and theirs!
     
  4. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    I don't see why I should have to join a "club" or "hire" anybody just because the other sex is unable to control its emotions. That's not my problem. My only problem is having to put out constant relationship fires caused by these clingy broads. I guess that's the price a guy has to pay :mad:

    Besides, if, as you say, women are "wired" to fall in love with any dork who bangs them more than a couple of times, then who's to say that the clubbers and the hookers aren't going to do the same? I would think that finding these women on *sex sites* would have solved that problem, but it hasn't.

    It just bugs me. I'm a scrawny pale dude with a crap job and a bad haircut who just happens to have a somewhat large dick. I can't imagine what it would be like for a super-stud, rich or famous guy. Those dudes must spend 50 hours a week dealing with woman drama. :eek:
     
  5. cbrmale

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    You're looking for friends with benefits? I've had a few of those, and it worked well for me. Maybe Aussie girls are different, and maybe they are more sexually liberated than the US. We have a different set of moral values, and that may make the difference.

    The only issue was that I fell in love with one of my friends, which would have freaked her out! So I just went with the flow and we kept meeting for fun times while I kept my true feelings hidden. She was delightful: tall and shapely with a pretty face and fantastic body, wonderful personality, great sexual personna, oozed sex appeal. But I was lucky because I was in love with someone else, but that's another story.
     
  6. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    Look, I just show up with a smile on my face. Sometimes we go out and then come home and screw, sometimes we just screw. I don't "start" anything other than emailing them and saying let's get together.

    If you're saying I should dump them after X amount of time, then I would ask, why? I've slept with 7 or so women in the past 8 months. 4 of them I dumped, 3 of them I didn't. The 4 I dumped because the sex was so-so or worse. The 3 I'm still dating, the sex is good. Why is it my job to dump them to protect their feelings? I don't understand.

    My point is: I can't find women who are "just into" sex, despite trying for years and years and years. And it frustrates me. :frown1: I'm just blowing off steam here and asking if other guys have had this same problem..
     
  7. Phil Ayesho

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    Are you kidding? Really? You can't wrap your brain around it?

    I guess these girls aren't falling for you for your mind...

    Allow me to explain- Women want something from you. You want something from women.
    What you want is different than what they want. What you want is SEX.
    What they want is security.

    They are willing to give you some of what you want. What they want in return is some of what they want.

    If you aren't willing to keep up your end of the deal... then stop expecting them to keep giving you what they want.
     
  8. yodiggity

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    phil, he specifically joined a sex site to find these women. obviously they are looking for sex since its on one of those sites so why is it they need security if they too are looking for sex just like he is?
     
  9. B_BabyJoy09

    B_BabyJoy09 New Member

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    First off did you ever think that the problem might be you? instead of trying to find someone that only wants sex? Sorry to break the news but I don't know any sane woman thats looking just to have sex, especially around your age, most ppl are trying to settle down and have kids at 32.

    Secondly why are you dating all these different women? and why dating? You dont date someone just for sex, you date someone to further a relationship, Thats obviously not what you want, is it? you want only the sex and fun from what you keep saying. Either deal with relationships or find some other way of releasing your sexual urges, like buy an expensive blow up doll or something (i heard they are mostly drama free.....until they pop hahaha)
     
    #9 B_BabyJoy09, Jul 26, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
  10. SR_Blarney_Frank

    SR_Blarney_Frank New Member

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    To be totally cynical, the mid-30s to 40s ones aren't looking for a 5. Either you're marriage material or it's time to move on as the clock is ticking.
     
  11. DiscoBoy

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    Are these women aware of what you expect out of these "relationships"? Instead of assuming they're in it for the same thing as you (because you found them on a sex site), perhaps you should discuss with them what you want from the relationship and where you see it going-- or not going for that matter.
     
  12. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    right but why are they on sex sites then?

    If you're a woman looking for your "soul mate" or "baby daddy" on letsfuck.com (or the equivalent) then you're an idiot.
     
    #12 B_Bonky, Jul 26, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
  13. SR_Blarney_Frank

    SR_Blarney_Frank New Member

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    Because it's where the men are?
     
  14. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    men are everywhere on the 'net. And why would they fuck on the first date, knowing I'm banging who knows who else, and then want some long term *serious* rel'p with me?

    I specifically chose the sex sites so I wouldn't have to do serious relationships. Long term is fine.. long term booty call, whatever. But all these chicks specifically tell me within about a month of meeting that they've stopped seeing other dudes and within another month they drop hints that they expect that I've stopped seeing other women.

    I don't understand. Can women simply not do long-term fuck-friends?
     
  15. gretchenweiner

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    The thing I've noticed during a few stints on AFF & OBC both of which are sex sites, when talking to guys they encounter more than a few women who are on there because they like the attention from the site. Dozens of guys wanting to bone you does something for their self esteem. Alot of women play the sites for attention and never agree to meet someone. On the occasion they do, they usually do expect something more than a roll in the hay. These are generally the women who just like in real life hope by substituting sex they will gain affection.
    I do not know what all you tell these women and how you carry yourself with them. But unless you've flat out told them you're only a fuck, I have no intentions of developing anything more than that so don't waste your time or mine if you're going to want more than just sex from me, odds are they are going to eventually expect more. And heck it's not even completely their fault, mother nature has a way of bitch slapping us the hormones that make sex great also cause us to bond with said partner. Some women insta-bond and some of us take longer. I know I can have sex with someone about 9-12 times when the loathing feelings start subsiding. If I do realize someone is getting a little close for comfort I cut it off especially if it's agreed we are only in a sex type situation.
    Maybe you should also pay attention to what is in their profile alot of people put they are looking for something long term and you should find out what is long term to them. Long term to you, may just mean a guaranteed lay but they might think it more. Maybe you should change your search criteria.
    That being said I find it hilarious you are having this problem, cause I seem to find myself in the same situations. I tell them upfront I don't want to date you, I don't want to know how your day is or how you're feeling, I really don't even need to know your name unless you get off on me moaning it. And afterwards they turn into mushy freaks who want to cuddle and hang out.
     
  16. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    how is OBC by the way?
     
  17. gretchenweiner

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    it's lame
    i wouldn't waste my time honestly
    i got better lays off AFF
     
  18. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    that's what I figured
     
  19. gretchenweiner

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    yeah there's too much social networking on it...i prefer AFF
    i keep my account on AFF on hidden unless i'm on the prowl
     
  20. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    I'm always on the prowl ;)
     
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