That was a funny post ML. Honestly, your comedic talents are being wasted here, you seriously need to write a book.
Indeed, so very primal, and speaking of the monkey brain ...
An example when it comes to man-ass and this deep primordial female awareness of it is when I go to the gym in the morning there's a group of these serious bodybuilder types who work out together, mostly near the free weights section. From behind these immense, powerful, and impressive beasts/dudes in their skintight black Under Armour clothing literally look like a gang of silverback gorillas. It's that big powerful muscular ape ass, back, wide shoulders. Just all boss. Your mind flashes to what you learned on one of the animal encounter TV shows, you know, what to do in case of attack?
1. Don't make eye contact.
2. Back away slowly and don't even think to run as this will trigger the predator/prey instinct in them and they'll be on you quicker than you can scream, "Dian Fossey!"
3. If they do charge immediately drop to the ground in the fetal position protecting your head with your arms.
4. Play dead.
There's a couple players in this body building group who are oh-so eager to play personal trainer to the ladies. They lumber through their jungle gym, swing through the canopy, making the rounds like two alpha males sniffing over their harem looking for one in estrous. So as you're locked into some ancient torture device/fixed exercise equipment and bent over in a vulnerable position with your spandex ass up in the air beckoning to be mounted and humped they'll park their huge gorilla forms nearby, grunt, say something like, "you wanna stop right before you lock your knees, hold for 3 seconds, take a deep breath and exhale on the decline, blah, blah, blah." They'll go even so far as resting one of their huge ape hands on your lower back, maybe slide their paws over a calf muscle, you know, to help with form, a.k.a. cop a feel, and in the process letting you know just how small and helpless you really are.
Just total confidence/testosterone/ape power. Any thought of telling them to take their hands off you is replaced quickly by the fear and knowledge that they could literally rip your limbs off. This fear however does little to stop the passing fantasy of what it would actually be like to have sex with the Incredible Hulk. It's the closest I come to ever cheating on my boyfriend, these daydreams. Not that I'd ever act on them but I have had mental images of being manhandled by these beasts ... who's arms are as big as my torso, the same arms they'd rest like giant tree trunks, fist and knuckle down, one on either side of my tiny head thus shoulder locking me in for breeding. How their big powerful gorilla butt would look from behind as they mounted and pounded away. Yeah, I'd drop to the ground, but you can forget about playing dead. I gotta see that butt in the mirror.