Why do you do this? (some of you!)

michael_3165

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I've come to find that when curious lads approach someone on Grindr for very light fun (jerking only) that guys seem to try desperately to get them to do further (suck, fuck, etc). Rather than respecting the person's position it is a constant barrage of pressure, non-respecting of boundaries and thinking "no" means "I am playing hard to get".

Also have you ever pushed someone (or been pushed) into doing something that they don't want to do but feel pressured into doing? If so, why?
 

FuckMyBussy

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It’s so sad to hear that it happens tbh, we should all just respect other peoples boundaries. everyone should be able to feel safe! And then, by pressuring these curious guys, you might’ve scared them off from ever wanting to try taking things further and meeting other guys to explore their sexuality with!

I don’t have an answer to your question sadly. But then again, you also hear similar stories from women with men pressuring them into doing the things that they want. So it could very well be a “man” thing. (Not all men of course)
 

Andrej_u

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It might surprise you, but as a person who is looking mostly for anal and assplay on Grindr, I receive the exact same type of behaviour you're describing. Guys looking for jerking off and/or sucking dick (without ass involved) often really insist on trying to convince me to meet for a blowjob or a jerk off session.

I see it just as 2 horny men trying to find a middle ground, and trying to see if each other's limits are hard limits or if they leave space for experimentation. Of course, no is no, and I explain that both my and his sexual preferences are perfectly valid, but not compatible.
Luckily, on Grindr everything else than "my address is xxxxx, come here at 6 pm" is technically a no, and if they are rude you can always use the block function.
 
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Brodie888

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Part of the process is a degree of horse trading. They are seeing how flexible you are because they like you to a degree but they want more than you are offering.

I would say most would want to at least suck you off without reciprocation. Not to say you should do anything you aren't comfortable with. It's just that you will need to be quite patient to find someone with similar needs.
 

Topher the Gopher

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The only thing that stands out in my mind was the time I hooked up with this hot Latino guy. I've always been mostly bottom; he said he was too, but he consented to fuck me. He was damn good at it...I came three times while he was jackhammering me.
 
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AceWilde

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Yeah I hate to say it but I agree with what others have said: you get this kind of thing regardless of what you're looking for on the apps. A lot of times guys aren't even reading profiles, they're just sending messages to anyone nearby. And other guys will just assume you're lying about what you want or are looking for, though I have no idea why. It's a really weird experience.
 

Topher the Gopher

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Yeah I hate to say it but I agree with what others have said: you get this kind of thing regardless of what you're looking for on the apps. A lot of times guys aren't even reading profiles, they're just sending messages to anyone nearby. And other guys will just assume you're lying about what you want or are looking for, though I have no idea why. It's a really weird experience.
That'd be a good part of the reason I quit hooking up years ago. I have a lot more fun jacking off.
 

AceWilde

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That'd be a good part of the reason I quit hooking up years ago. I have a lot more fun jacking off.
I know exactly what you mean. LOL Like why waste all my time when I'm perfectly capable of making myself feel good. Often better than random hookups would.
 

asdfjkllp

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I've come to find that when curious lads approach someone on Grindr for very light fun (jerking only) that guys seem to try desperately to get them to do further (suck, fuck, etc). Rather than respecting the person's position it is a constant barrage of pressure, non-respecting of boundaries and thinking "no" means "I am playing hard to get".

Also have you ever pushed someone (or been pushed) into doing something that they don't want to do but feel pressured into doing? If so, why?

I've had this happen when looking just to jerk off with varying degrees of awkwardness. It can be frustrating at times. I've never been in the pushing side, but I've definitely been pushed and/or compromised and did things I'm not super into to try to be nice or cuz I was having a guilt complex. But, I'll tell a good story cuz I don't feel like dwelling on the weird ones rn lol.

I met a guy on Grindr after my planned jo bud session fell through (when this happened I had only had sex with one guy and was indefinitely only into jerking off with other guys) the guy I was messaging said pretty much "if you come over here, we're gonna do more than just jerk off" I was already super horny anticipating the stroke session (hadn't cum in over a week I think) and the guy was nice, funny, older than me (it's definitely a thing) and cute so I said ok. I went there, hung out a bit, and he fucked me. I consider it my "first" time cuz it's the first time I liked it and wasn't super uncomfortable. Still fwbs. I've had a couple times when a guy and I both met intending to jerk off and it escalated but this is my only fairy tale variant of the thing you're describing lol
 
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asdfjkllp

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I love jerking off, but ever since I first tried jerking with someone else I crave it
I know exactly what you mean. LOL Like why waste all my time when I'm perfectly capable of making myself feel good. Often better than random hookups would.
 

Robert Dole

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It's that thing of hard vs soft boundaries- some guys don't want anything else, whether it be because they don't like to, or because they are curious but quite reserved.
Other guys are happy to get into something else and it may be they are uncomfortable saying what they want or just simply don't know.
 

ASK JEFF

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I think I’d like to simplify the OP‘s question/observation: “No” does mean “no”. Any consenting adult who posts what they are looking for should be taken as just that. Nothing further. The one looking for fun within a certain range has specified what they want and looking for. They don’t need to give a reason. THAT is what they are into, so if the other participant isn’t and wants more, then they should keep walking. Anyone who manipulates a situation to suit their own needs is a person who clearly doesn’t understand or care to understand others rules and boundaries. Why they proceed to make a situation suffocating? Probably because they‘ve never been told “no” before and consider another man as desperate as they are in the moment. Not my peeps at all. Complete consent is the best sex.
 
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