Hey everybody, I've got kinda a weird question and maybe you can help me figure it out. I've been watching a lot of newer movies lately (given the nature of my job, I get then for free ) and I've been hanging out with a lot of friends I haven't seen in a while and I've noticed something with both my friends and these movies. For some reason, there is this rising (I want to say need or desire) to know if a person is gay. People in movies sometimes ask a character if they think "so and so" is gay. My friends and coworkers often whisper about someone who walks in the room and says "Hey, you think he might be... you know?" What my question is, what's the deal? Why is there this growing trend to know? Is it because all these people secretly want them? Is it because the more "accepting" our culture gets, the more "homophobe" it's actually becoming? Am I simply the only one noticing this? But I thought I'd ask you all. It just bothers me that people can't mind their own business. Yeah, I would like to know if someone is maybe gay or bi, I'd love to hang out with them and maybe help them feel like they aren't alone or disliked or whatever because of their prefferences, but I don't go around asking. Frankly it's none of my business who is and isn't, but I want to know why this is becoming so popular to ask. For me, it's becoming one of the top three questions when you meet someone: "What's your name? Do you have a myspace? Are you gay?" I dunno, it's just annoying to me. Any thoughts?
I've noticed something similar. I suspect that it is because in the US at least, the religious conservative trend of the last near decade has made people more paranoid about anything gay. Like "terrorist", "gay" has been used a a fear word to gain and keep power. Remember, the last minute "elect Kerry and fags will be raping your children after they marry your dogs and plant 'nucular' terrerist (sic) bombs on your dead grandmother's grave" campaign got Bushie re-elected. We've been getting more paranoid about "them queers" ever since. the gay marriage issue which rises and falls from the media tends to cause those who wish to use it to gain or keep power to bring the fear factor back to the forefront in this present social climate. i may be completely wrong, but current history supports me prety well, if not as bluntly as I have stated it.
Yeah....I find that annoying myself. Someone's sexual orientation is none of my business, and unless I am interested in that person or he/she is interested in me, I have no real desire or care to know who they perfer to sleep with. As for actors/actresses and so forth....These people are intitled to their own privacy. Just b/c they are on tv, in the movies, or are famous singers does not automatically make their personap/social/sexual lives any business of mine or anyone elses (other than friends and family). I hate tabloids and telly shows that are all about getting into the private lives of celebraties. Leave these people alone. They are in the spot light enough as it is, so why not give them some peace.
I think it has to do with two things. the first is the natural curiosity people have. being GAY is still a secret for many celebs [and anonymous people...] and the simple fact a well known person comes out and reveals him|herself to be GAY is, at the same time, a great thing for closeted people, and to, and this is my second reason, the MEDIA. media has maid it their JOB to out famous people just because of that. IF you are famous and lead a simple, unflashy life, trying to keep away from paparazzi and the press in general, makes you HAVE a secret, usually related with a 'forbidden' sexuality. SO that's it, the natural curiosity with the urge to sell paper by the press makes the 'I'M OUT' trend be more and more OUT there...
It is truly the signs of the times we are living in. Yes everyone is curious about everyone because people are nosey. Very few of us want to let every one live the life they want to live. The joys of the information age has made it possible for you to find out just about everything and anything even if the facts are false. It drives me crazy because some one well come and say "did you know..he is gay or she watches porn" What kills them is when I respond by saying so what I watch porn too and write smutty stories for fun. I find out some ones sexual preference I celebrate that they now what they want and good for them now let go have a beer and shoot some pool.:biggrin1:
Yeah, it is a very nosy age right now, but it just bothers me to no end that people can't just let everyone live however they want. To me it's like, why is it any of your business to know if my friend is gay? He's not, but why do you need to know? Ya know, it's just annoying a lot for me.
I dont disagree with any of the posts made to this thread. However, I will point out that the upside here is that gay people increasingly are being acknowledged in main-steam media and are being portrayed as normal people in normal situations. More and more, even in instances where gay characters are comical or even stereotypical, their sexuality is not presented as deviant or perverted. We have evolved from the days of having a love that dare not speak its name to there being widespread consciousness that homosexuality is part of the human phenomenon and that we are found in facets of every day life. This is a positive development.
I'm maybe a little bit stupid about this because I dont really know if someone is gay (unless it's very obvious) otherwise I dont see it at first sight... Just the other day, this girl told me that her gay friend was going to be at a party and that he was kind of very gay. So at one point of the night I spoke with the guy and after I fund out that was the guy! I would have never know. So that's my naive side lol and maybe I dont really care. I have another friend you after been married for few years and turn out gay (or maybe he did'nt know before) anyway, it did'nt look like he was effeminate or something, but now that he is open about it, I can tell a little more. But then again it doesnt make a difference at the end.
The nosiness about someone's orientation kind of bugs me too. I don't understand it. I'm all for the well-being of anybody but as far as what they do in life is on them. Be happy. Gossip is something that will always be around. Gay people are in the top ten on the gossip list:biggrin1:. With our culture being more accepting and the gay population popping up in more and more genres, I think people are going to ask "discreetly" more often. I just brace myself for it when I'm out in public or at work because I just know that somebody is gonna ask about somebody else before the day is over. The key for me was to find a vice that helped to just tune all of the negativity out. Sometimes people's questions and comments aren't negativity but usually before the conversation about the stranger is over it falls in the negativity section:frown1:. Then I try to change or at least curb conversation like that with my own open-mindedness. I'm just trying to save my own life by doing that.
