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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Gregg_Ghorian, Mar 17, 2010.
Typical scenerio. Kids, time, boredom, can't get back to a "normal" sex life.
get a baby sitter and spend a night or two alone at a nice motel or hotel. don't leave a phone number for the baby sitter.
Then try something out of the range of "normal" to get the juices flowing. A little fantasy can go a long way. Hire a sitter for the kids on a night where you don't have to go to work the next day. Arrange to meet your SO at a designated place where no one knows you. Create a scenario where you pretend that you don't know each other... flirt shamelessly and pick each other up and have PDA's or whatever is outside your comfort zone and then go home and rip each others clothes off with your teeth and do the dirty hula to a new tune.
Ok, here's what you do.
Both write down on 3"x5" cards 5 nice things you like or love about each other.
Talk it over and take turns telling your partner what you like or would like to do.
For example: I like 15 minutes of quite time when I get home. Or, I like on Sunday when you get a few nice pastries and lattes from So-n-So bakery. Or, I like when your mom watched the kids one day a month and we go get frisky in a hotel. Or, I love having you wash my back while I'm in a bubble bath.
It's about you. and your partner AND what you like and love about each other.
So, write 5 things each and in the morning before you head to work, shuffle the cards and choose one for the day. You'll have something to look forward to upon returning home.
Perhaps the mother in law, or best friend will watch the kids one day a month too for your alone evening away.
It's about what you loved and love in each other. Gotta nurture those fond feeling or they'll get lost under all the other daily stuff.
One thing that's very important with raising children is, when they get to the age of being self-sufficient, say 2 or 3 or so, is to make sure they know that their mother and father have 'mother and father' time. This means no misbehaving and no interruptions. What we also did was put a lock on our bedroom door. But in any case, a closed bedroom door meant out of bounds.
Later when they were a bit older, we hinted that this time was for sex, so they would, even before they knew what sex was really about, associate sex with normal and natural. Our society tends to treat sex inappropriately, and we both wanted our children to be aware that sex is a healthy part of a close relationship.