Why Don't You Want To Fuck Your Husband?

Holly Doors

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my husband and myself enjoy a full and exciting sex life hunni, it's always enjoyable and on point and we keep it fresh. Tbh the only times we've gone without is back in the day when he would work away or when we've been extremely sick or something, as @Tight_N_Juicy has said maybe you could have worded the question a little better and given more information.
 
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While I was married, I went for 3+ months without fucking him... because I knew he was banging his sexatary and according to state law, having sex with him could be considered forgiving/accepting his adultery and it could hurt me in the separation/divorce... plus there's the whole monogamy thing.
 

giantsausage

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So my apologies for the obnoxiously worded question, but competing for time and attention in a clickbait world requires an attention grabber.

In terms of more information, I ask because my lovely wife and I are going through a bit of a dry spell, going on about 2 years now. It's not that we don't, but it's rare. It started when she was pregnant with our second child, she didn't feel sexy and it was a difficult pregnancy, I understood completely but I thought things would pick up with time after he was born. It's been about a year since he was born now, and things are still about once every four months so.

I'm not looking for relationship advice, I communicate with my wife fine. I was just more so wondering what potential roadblocks other Woman might have experienced in life that left them without a sex drive for their spouse. Such as new medication, birth of a child, secretly planning divorce, et cetera. I know slow periods in a marriage are super common, and expected with major life changes like two little kids and perpetual exhaustion. But I can't help thinking that something else in addition to that may be going on as well.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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The only time I refused sex for an extended period of time with my long term partner was after we lost our daughter when I was 6 months pregnant.

It was a few months. And even now I feel guilty for being able to have sex so soon after it happened. I hold a grudge against my body that I can't forgive. Sometimes, I hate sex. He thoroughly gets it, and doesn't question me if I need to Not fuck.

Women can go through a lot of shit because of sex. Not that men don't, but I'm pretty sure no man alive can relate to that shit..
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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She has every right to not want sex. You made a promise to be there for her, for better or worse, no?

This is the "worse" part. Deal with it like an adult. Jerk it when you need to. Talk to her.

That's my advice.
 
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I stop fucking when I:

- Do not feel well. I have some chronic health issues.
- When I get tired of being turned down because I always have the higher libido than the people I am with. I tend to leave it up to the person/people I am with to initiate due to it, but it is hard having mismatched sex drives.

As an aside, you/OP thinking you need to "clickbait" the folks on here leaves me wondering how good your communication skills actually are. I could be entirely wrong, of course...
 

Scarletbegonia

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Other potential causes of lower libido
Depression, especially post partum.
Hormones out of balance
Resentment, unspecified (meaning she can’t yet put her finger on it)
Resentment, specified, not yet expressed (meaning she can’t decide how to say it)
Exhaustion
A run of bad sex
 

giantsausage

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I stop fucking when I:

- Do not feel well. I have some chronic health issues.
- When I get tired of being turned down because I always have the higher libido than the people I am with. I tend to leave it up to the person/people I am with to initiate due to it, but it is hard having mismatched sex drives.

As an aside, you/OP thinking you need to "clickbait" the folks on here leaves me wondering how good your communication skills actually are. I could be entirely wrong, of course...

Valid points, maybe I was looking for people to respond in a pointed fashion with replies like "he got fat" or "I don't love him anymore" in order to confirm my own worst insecurities. I suppose I did write it out of sexual frustration, but it is an anger directed at myself.

I feel you on being tired of being turned down, I don't initiate either at this point.
 

LaFemme

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I’m not married, but when I have been in relationships, I’ve always had the higher libido. I would have settled for mediocre sex, rather than no sex. I actually think most men like the idea of a high libido woman, but are not too fond of the reality.
 

giantsausage

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I’m not married, but when I have been in relationships, I’ve always had the higher libido. I would have settled for mediocre sex, rather than no sex. I actually think most men like the idea of a high libido woman, but are not too fond of the reality.

The grass is always greener right? But how high is high? I'd imagine that most Men could handle everyday without problem or complaint, but has that not been your experience?
 

LaFemme

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The grass is always greener right? But how high is high? I'd imagine that most Men could handle everyday without problem or complaint, but has that not been your experience?
Definitely not my experience. It starts out multiple times a day, then drops down to daily and then it just gets farther apart. In one relationship, monthly was a huge improvement. It’s pretty disheartening. It’s not like I suddenly got fat, or lacked hygiene. It wasn’t my sexual skill. I think some men are threatened by women who really like sex. And I seem to attract them.
 

giantsausage

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Definitely not my experience. It starts out multiple times a day, then drops down to daily and then it just gets farther apart. In one relationship, monthly was a huge improvement. It’s pretty disheartening. It’s not like I suddenly got fat, or lacked hygiene. It wasn’t my sexual skill. I think some men are threatened by women who really like sex. And I seem to attract them.

That's surprising to hear, I can understand it dropping from multiple times a day, but I would have predicted the floor to be every other day at the far end, not once a month. So maybe the typical guy after 5 years of marriage only wants it once a month and I'm the freak for wanting it daily?
 

giantsausage

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While I was married, I went for 3+ months without fucking him... because I knew he was banging his sexatary and according to state law, having sex with him could be considered forgiving/accepting his adultery and it could hurt me in the separation/divorce... plus there's the whole monogamy thing.

"Sexatary", haha, I just caught that.
 

giantsausage

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Other potential causes of lower libido
Depression, especially post partum.
Hormones out of balance
Resentment, unspecified (meaning she can’t yet put her finger on it)
Resentment, specified, not yet expressed (meaning she can’t decide how to say it)
Exhaustion
A run of bad sex

It may very well be a little of all the above. Could you expand on "a run of bad sex"? What does that mean exactly, anxiety that the sex could be bad preventing you from the attempt?
 
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4388301

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That's surprising to hear, I can understand it dropping from multiple times a day, but I would have predicted the floor to be every other day at the far end, not once a month. So maybe the typical guy after 5 years of marriage only wants it once a month and I'm the freak for wanting it daily?

My experience is similar. Multiple times a day to.. let me think. Once so far since 2020 started? I think .. twice in all of 2019. I have been with my partner close to a decade.
 
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286798

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It may very well be a little of all the above. Could you expand on "a run of bad sex"? What does that mean exactly, anxiety that the sex could be bad preventing you from the attempt?
Speaking for myself, not SB...

My wasband would almost always reach orgasm about 30 seconds before I got there. He "ripped me off" or reaching my orgasms for ~20 years and would rarely go back to finish the job. He got his, i got frustrated.

On the other side, I've had partners that couldn't ever get there because of medication and other problems. I want my partner to have a good time in bed too, so if he doesn't orgasm, I don't like it one bit.

Both of those would be a run of bad sex in my book. Lawd, I've had too many of those.
 
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Tight_N_Juicy

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I've said this before, seems worth saying again.

Sometimes the partner not wanting sex feels guilty for not wanting it. Sometimes it makes them feel like they can't provide something their partner likely *needs* and it can make depression (if it's part of the equation) worse and it turns into a snowball and makes the whole thing worse for everyone.

Not wanting sex isn't always about not wanting your partner.