eurotop40 is right that UK politicians have failed to defend effectively the interests of the UK. But it has happened, and we have to move on from the position we are now in.
eurotop40 is also right that Switzerland and Norway are special cases. Indeed there isn't a proper comparison for the idea of a UK outside the EU. Switzerland and Norway are put up as comparisons because there aren't any better.
eurotop40 is also right that the EU has brought peace and prosprity to the continent of Europe, and we should all think twice about breaking it up.
Three rights! But Britain still cannot accept the status quo of Britain's position with respect to the EU. What the people of the UK want is to step back from European integration; this much is clearly expressed at elections, and indeed there is probably a majority view that we should simply withdraw.
I think the options are:
1) Britain negotiates a new relationship with Europe. This is most easily done without ratification of the Lisbon treaty. However whether or not Lisbon has been ratified the new relationship should be produced. The bottom line for Britain is an end to net contributions from Britain, 100% veto over all EU legislation within the UK, no control of an EU president over the UK, total UK control of borders. Also up for discussion has to be the end of the CAP, the end of the Strasbourg circus and reforms of the EU parliamentary structures - for example a situation where UK MPs cannot on their own form a parliamentary group is not acceptable. Assuming Lisbon is ratified I think this has to be sorted within the context of leaving and negotiating some sort of special agreement. With a bit of luck Ireland would join the UK in this. The British Isles comprises two nation-states - the UK and Ireland, plus the British dependent territories of Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man - Gibraltar is usually included in this list too (the dependent territories are outside the EU, and in view of their finance industries have significant economies). We need a solution for the two nations and three or four territories of the British Isles as a whole either completely outside the EU or semi-detached from Europe.
2) Britain wrecks the EU. I think this is the implied threat to get action on (1). There will be enormous pressure on UK politicians playing for popularity at home to do just this. I think we do have options of withholding money, taking unilateral action on the borders of the UK, encouraging countries including Poland to a more anti-EU status, bringing a court case to Brussels on the CAP, refusing to implement EU laws.
I do not know whether the UK would be richer or poorer in either of the above scenarios. I don't think this is a primary concern of the people of Britain. There is a grumbling anti-European mood which goes beyond considerations of prosperity. The EU has a way of working which is simply not British and which strikes at our culture and identity, and therefore at the happiness of people within the UK.
For the EU countries I think there is more to be gained by accommodating the UK than in creating a fight. It must be possible to create a political framework which would satisfy everyone. Britain as a part of a European super-state is not an option.