why is gay sex easier to get than straight sex?

[deleted405852]

Simple answer: A woman walks into a bar and says, "Who wants to have sex with me!?"
Guys will say yes.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Who wants to have sex with me!?"
Guys will still say yes, or approach the man afterwards and do the do.

Moral of the story, guys don't give a f**k as long as they get to f**k.

Question/comments?

 

[D_Crimea_River]

Do straight men still go to XXX arcades / movie theaters? I figured these places turned into ghost towns when the internet became widely accessible to everyone. I understand that bi/gay men can still pick up someone in these spots but my guess is it's probably harder now than before.

Well here In Melbourne, Australia... I have observed the same. It is HARDER in all the WRONG ways. To find a gay/bi partner. Maybe something has changed that we have missed. Maybe because we had partners (like I did at the time) But now all the bi/gay activity seems to be dead, were it used to be found even more regular than taking a piss...

 

[B_Bjen2848]

Men are sluts.

^this^

 

[B_thickjohnny]

I was just recently wondering about this. It seems that almost every public restroom is a cruising spot in Prague. Everyone of them have holes in the toilet walls. Everyone of them have some smut on the walls - "for a good time call" phone numbers, etc. You can go to anyone of the public parks and find a place where men are having anonymous sex in some form or fashion. In places like Berlin it's the same. I've never seen this in the US. Never heard of sex in a public park. I guess it's for fear of imprisonment. Here, the police would just run you off. A friend told me of another friend who went to a park late one night and was bent over being hammered when two cops walked up and shined their flashlights on them. The two froze but the police only asked them if they were ok (he assumed that they wanted to be sure he wasn't being mugged or raped). When they said they were fine the police walked off! WTF? I know that Czechs have an open mind on things but that's the Pièce de résistance.

So why do gay men do this? Cruise like this? Even those in relationships eventually cheat or the agree to play around. It's almost acceptable. I don't get it.

 

[helgaleena]

Men don't get pregnant.

ORLY :wink:

 

[open501s]

men are easy.

 

[Stephenmass]

So why do gay men do this? Cruise like this? Even those in relationships eventually cheat or the agree to play around. It's almost acceptable. I don't get it.

Johnny, yes there are some gay guys that have open relationships and if that's cool with them, fine by me even though I could never be in an open relationship myself. I am partnered and have been monogamous for 5 years or so now. To the best of my knowledge, he is the same as me.

To answer the question of why is it easier? Two men that find each other attractive will almost always say yes. Hookups, etc. Not expecting call backs after the hookups perfectly acceptable and almost expected.

Women (not all women) generally want more commitment or at the very least extreme interest before sexual encounters. Men don't require extreme, just acceptable.

 

[poultrygeist]

I must have a gaydar cloaking device or some shit. I can't remember the last time a guy hit on me or was obviously flirting with me. OTOH it seems women make either flirtatious moves or suggestive comments 1-2 times a week. It's almost always been that way since probably the last 10 years. Probably karma. I already have the woman of my dreams in my life, don't need or want any more females. Whatever the secret to getting more advances from gay men, I'm doing it all wrong.

 

[aninnymouse]

Do straight men still go to XXX arcades / movie theaters? I figured these places turned into ghost towns when the internet became widely accessible to everyone. I understand that bi/gay men can still pick up someone in these spots but my guess is it's probably harder now than before.

Never underestimate the power of an anonymous blowjob.

I know a couple theater's/arcades near me that do a booming business. Usually lunchtime, after work or on Saturday nights, they are packed.

I've gone occasionally, and there are a lot of wedding rings, lots of straight, married types. Enough to surprise one.

There are a lot of people who can't/won't host, or travel to meet up with someone, so they go to the arcades, figuring that there will be a willing mouth/hole to dump a load into.

And, as for the question about why gay sex seems more available:

Men are just more sexual, and free with what they do, period. There's not the dance of expectations. A lot of men subscribe to the theory that a mouth is a mouth, and a hole is a hole. Many women just don't operate that way, no matter how much they love sex. There is also the double standard that a man is supposed to be sexual, and that if a woman likes sex, and wants sex for the sake of sex, or views sex as sport, they are sluts and whores.

 

[dolfette]

Men are just more sexual

objection!

we're often just as sexual.
we're just usually a bit more picky about who we're sexual with.
having more partners does not equate to being more sexual.

 

[aninnymouse]

objection!

we're often just as sexual.
we're just usually a bit more picky about who we're sexual with.
having more partners does not equate to being more sexual.

OK, fair enough. Men and women are sexual in different way, and there are different expectations for men and women. However, the way that many men are sexual lends itself to more gay sex than straight sex, IMO.

 

[alx]

True. It can take months to form a relationship with a woman before she feels comfortable enough to have sex with you.

I know that I could walk into a gaybar/club and within 5mins catch someone's eye and most probs get laid that night.
Men are just easy to please, women are not.


Plus women can pretty much choose from any guy they want, the world their oyster. Guys can't afford to be so picky generally.

Don't worry you'll find a girlfriend eventually.

 

[dolfette]

OK, fair enough. Men and women are sexual in different way, and there are different expectations for men and women. However, the way that many men are sexual lends itself to more gay sex than straight sex, IMO.

true, it seems to cause some men no end of irritation that most women will not take up every offer of sex they get.
it's not just about expectations. as i posted earlier, a lot of it is the result of tens of thousands of years of evolution on our instinctive desires.

 

[B_bxmuscle]

Sometimes the obvious answer is the correct one.

 

[SyddyKitty]

Heh, my post wasn't meant to be a taken in a somewhat positive light... though I left the language vanilla enough. It's a disgusting aspect of the culture - some of us gay men have standards, patience and morals - like women if you must think that way. We're generally less tolerated by the mainstream style.

 

[f0zzie05]

Yup I'm 30 n can count on one hand with a finger or two to spare (depending on how u view oral) on how many sex partners I've had. Does this mean I don't have a lot of sex? hahaha XD

 

[mrmiyagi]

why is gay sex easier to get than straight sex? A lot gay men want to have sex with me and I can not find a girlfriend.

I have no idea, because I am not gay.
But don't worry about the finding a girlfriend. I will give you some advice:
It is much better if she finds you

Then she will allow you almost everything..

For example:
You can still go watching football with your palls on Sundays.
She doesn't forbid you to drink beer.
You can still fart when you like to.
She will clean your house and cooks even better than your mum.
She won't complain about having a headache when you like to shag.

I am always a BMF and I won't change(No Obama for me) :biggrin1:

 

[NY4Curious]

I think the pregnency issue has a great deal to do with it.
Also, as my father said: "I know it's not fair, but it's the way it is. My son fucks with every one he meets male and female and folks tell me 'That son of yours is some stud', my daughter sleeps with every guy she meets and she's a slut and behind my back tell each other 'It's too bad his daughter can't keep her panties on, he must be so humiliated' and frankly I am."
I also think that women traditionally were the home makers and raised childen (the result of their fucking) they saw faithfulness and monogamy is a very different light then men did and still do.
Traditionally the clothes women wore were designed to make having sex difficult but the clothes than men wore were designed to make having sex quickly and easily.
In the 1950s, 60s, 70s and 80s there were no established role models for gay couples who wanted to have a permanent relationship. They felt they could be as creative about it and what worked for them was the way they should do it. (Also during that time a man's introduction to being gay was nearly always through 'man sex' and other through a sexual experiences, today I know a number of college age guys who say "I know I'm gay, but I haven't acted one it yet." When I went to college it was the different: "I sure have fun jacking off with the guys but I know I'm not gay." Some eventually realized they were others married and raised families, they may have lived in terrible closets, but they may have found happiness in the security of a home and family.
Today monogamy is so popular among young gay couples. It's really shocking for me to hear a young man say, "Oh I couldn't think of sleeping with anyone other than my husband/boyfriend/whatever"
Shortly after I met the man with whom I've had a very long term relationship, we both confessed we knew we had "met the one" (he was married to a woman and had to unravel that before we could live together)--for that and because we both truly loved having sex the first rule we imposed on our relationship was "Either of us could fuck anyone we met once, the second time it had to be a three way and from there on it was free form." It is the only rule we've ever had. We both have had pretty intense relationships with other guys and girls but I can honestly say we have never thought of dissolving our union.
I know very few women who understand our attitude toward promiscuity, but it's given us a fabulous life together. Since the early 70s we've traveled the globe together, tricked with locals from other countries, visited bath houses and whore houses and gone our separate ways.
We both understand sex is for fun. There is so much more bonding our relationship together though our sex has always been the best I've had.
When I was actively bisexual before I met him I always maintained "I don't understand why people want their partners to be faithful to them. I want to world to know my wife/boyfriend/spouse/lover is the best fuck around, and further more I want them to enjoy it That would really make me proud." I mean who'd want someone without experience and who has nothing to compare their sex with.
I know that because we both had a history of promiscuity before we met we understood the others desire (and it was a desire not a need) to remain sexually active, that was one of the things that we were attracted to in each other.
But then, there was no one to tell these attitudes were wrong. Relationships were about being together. We both thought relationships were about having fun. I know my parents was (I don't know if they slept around, I wouldn't fall apart if I learned they did, but they had such a beautiful life together and shared so many wonderful things and they had fun together, always they had fun.) Why should anyone care what you do for an hour or two with another human being, but society and our culture tell us that everyone does, that God does, that it is irresponsible behavior.
I think our lives were more creative and henceforth better before colleges offered courses in "Gay Culture". Gay History is important but "Gay Culture" has always been based on the easy availability of sex. This was true of the Castro in San Francisco, of Greenwich Village in New York, it also is true of Berlin and Prague.
Let the good times roll!

 

[516778]

I think guys are horny all the time....and never turned down the idea of sex. If I didn't have a boyfriend it would be very hard to have sex.

 

[rawbone8]

There is a level of "currency" that lingers on from patriarchal times, where virginity is valued and having fewer partners elevated a woman's worth on the marriage market or as social currency. That's changing, but we still see social judgement come into play in denigrating women who are sexually liberal as having "bad reputations": sluts, slags, loose, immoral, etc. and these labels lower their social standing due to perceptions of promiscuity. Conquests are attributed to males, giving it up is seen as a female's burden on that social scale. It's really quite unfair. But it still persists. If one cares.

I think it's also partly due to dolfette's attribution; that it's about selective access because the historical responsibilities for caring for the offspring are the woman's sphere. The consequences are more significant for her. Contraception changed the playing field, but the old judgements linger on.

Women who use their sexuality as social currency still play the game. There are alpha females just as there are alpha males. Being selective is seen as being in charge.