I really want to take over this thread :biggrin1:
But I think I'll respond to the following, and chill until the week tween x-mas and NY. By then I can get a OP together.
The problem of acceptance, respectability, and trust. All relating to the people that the individual has to come out to.
I've wronged those close to me on all three counts. I've not chosen to blab about it (excepting LPSG of course), but have resolved to reach out to those who might be questioning those three counts of me, as well. It's a big step - in the realm of admitting pathological lying, which, if I were in the shoes of others, I wouldn't be doing any trusting of this guy anymore either.
Does anyone really need to ask what societal pressures were so powerful that an intelligent man would choose to live an embarrassing (in retropsect) double life?
See above. In my fucked up corner of the world, gays or bis aren't accepted, are respected but with disdain, and can't be trusted (check fundie "gay = child molester" arguments).
I'm the guy you call when you need help on moving day. I'm the guy who can make your band rock out. I'm the guy that knows how to bypass that annoying chime in your car without hacking any wires. While I'm a klutz with an actual ball, but you give me something, I'm gonna fuckin run with it. I didn't need/want my cred challenged. I expect exactly as much respect as I dish out. As respect involves some emotional investment, I'm so very tired of having my investments tank.
Traditional standards of morality continue to recede. Sooner or later they will diminish to the point that what was once unacceptable will be the norm.
Of course society will collapse shortly thereafter. It's a repeating historical cycle.
I'm not saying this is a bad thing.
So what
does "normal" constitute nowadays? :biggrin1:
I'm sure you are referring to the oft-cited and oft-refuted Nero case. Well, dear, let me burst your bubble. Pick up a history book. Read it. You will see that our society is like all the others. Morality is a constantly evolving idea. It always has been. Our "traditional" morals are only 20 to 30 years old. They change with the times. That's how a society functions and continues to live. It's when the morals become static for too long that a surge of malcontent overcomes the restrictive bindings of the ruling elite, and colapse ensues.
Two thoughts:
1) Morals, like fashion, are cyclical. Are those cycles now so frequent and compressed as to cause dissonance (which I happen to like)? Sorry to sound like V, but I tried to express something similar here:
shorts thread
2) "Traditional morals" was a default for me in the real world with most every sexuality dialog I've ever had. Or at least an easy out when the topic became uncomfortable - add "and it's wrong" to my sig and you'll get the idea). Easy enough default too, as one side of my family is hardcore Presbyterian witnesses, the other Catholic. I've only been recently able to rationalize my sexuality, independent of societal cause/effects, and largely in thanks to all the salient posting here on LPSG. Again, a compelling need to say thanks to you all for it, and for being here.
I guess I'm at the point where I have to let go of or rephrase pet sayings like "judge not lest ye be judged", if I intend on renouncing my family's Bible-based religions as a supposed moral compass. Which will make me even more persona non grata in a family that could get by without me anyway, and surprise (or not) many of my circles of friends.
OK time to chill :biggrin1:
"nuttin chillin at da Holidae In"