Why is it that girls can have their cake and eat it, yet guys can't?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by HamYai, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. HamYai

    HamYai New Member

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    Scenario:

    We are two couples who have known each other as friends for many years.

    One thing led to another and we all ended up in a sort of swinger scenario.

    Both guys have sex with both girls.

    But, here's the rub - both girls have sex with each other, too.

    No problem. Highly erotic for the guys voyeuring and sometimes getting involved with the girls same time.

    Highly erotic for the girls, cuz they are not just playing/teasing when they do play with each other (which seems to be at any given opportunity) and lost count of their orgasms when they do.

    BUT....

    If we guys started playing with each other, the whole setup would change.

    We'd be considered "gay" or, at best, "closet-gay".

    Yet they can lick and finger and tongue each other and it's considered "fun".

    Why is lebianism so much more accepted as nothing more than sexual fun, so much more than male-on-male sexual fun?
     
  2. Pendlum

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    Because lesbian porn is actually directed at men, and not lesbians? And on the flip side, gay porn is directed at gay men, not women. Just a guess though.
     
  3. HamYai

    HamYai New Member

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    Granted and accepted.

    In porn you are totally right.

    This ain't porn, tho.

    The girls are getting off on each other (as well as us guys) from the moment we meet up. It's not done for a porn film, it's done because they like to do it.

    But if we guys did it..............
     
  4. Pendlum

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    Since everyone likes to say it, porn may not be "real."

    BUT people mimic porn. So maybe it is more real than you think, in a different sense. :p

    That being said I'll offer something else as well. Maybe they enjoy the thought of you getting off watching them go at it, more than they are really into each other.
     
  5. Rubenesque

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    It's just the arse thing, some people get really hung up about it. Silly really, I'd love a bi boyfriend!
     
  6. Mem

    Mem
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    Because "str8" men are less secure in their sexuality.
     
  7. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Take mine Please!
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  8. midlifebear

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    Dear STD: You've just not encountered the right couples, yet. Although I claim to be gay, I've had plenty of occasions when having sex with a female date and another couple (or a couple of couples) where I've encouraged the other guy to "Go ahead, touch it." because he's been staring at my dick hard enough to burn a hole in it. And in the raunch rooms at Lifestyle parties, other men have had no problem enthusiastically helping me keep my tool guided into the snatch belonging to the woman hogging the leather sling. Some guy invariably takes advantage of the situation by going down on the woman's clit as an excuse to slather up and down on my snake. Conversely, I've sucked off plenty of guy's as their wife or some heated red-eyed woman rubbed her crotch in their faces.

    But I'm a bone ified pervert. Still, none of those guys have had a hard time looking me or another man in the eye after the action died down.

    You just need to hang out with a better class of sexually charged people.

    Just sayin'
     
    #8 midlifebear, Jun 27, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2008
  9. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    A pun!

    Superb arrogance, the best kind!

    You're so fine tonight, mlb.:cool:
    Seriously.
     
  10. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Clever Mem!
    Mem I do believe you've hit the "dick on the head"!
    So to speak.
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  11. HamYai

    HamYai New Member

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    Me and him have played already.

    I've no problem licking her pussy while he's in there and taking the chance to lick his shaft and balls, too, when she's distracted - and vice-versa.

    But my question is, why is it generally considered to be OK for otherwise hetero girls to make out but not so for otherwise hetero guys?

     
  12. midlifebear

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    Thank you sir (bending over the gang rape table and loosening my chaps). It's my inner white trash at work :biggrin1:
     
  13. Rubenesque

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    LOL
     
  14. marleyisalegend

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    I would consider you bisexual since you're engaging with both males and females. Does the label really matter? Are you implying that women "win" because they don't get associated with sexual orientation?
     
  15. midlifebear

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    A good and valid question. Without any substantiation, I'd just blame that sort of conditioning on the White Male Moral Religious Military State. Remember the conditioning in adolescence (and earlier) among young males that anything interesting on an individual level is "That's sooooo gay!" You either run with the crowd or your automatically gay. Oy!

    But then, when it comes to the US Military the Navy is probably the most homoerotic institution ever conceived (or so says history). Remember, for a sailor there is no such thing as "The wrong hole." (That's an old joke I first heard from a Rear Admiral. No kidding.) :redface:
     
  16. marleyisalegend

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    I think part of the problem may be that the OP fears being labeled gay because "gay" is often said with a negative conotation, both when referring to homosexuals and undesirable situations: "Did you hear that Usher's gay?" "My car won't start, this is so gay!"

    If there weren't any stigma against homosexuality, I don't think the OP would be more bothered by the label than biracial people are bothered by being called mixed.
     
  17. Bbucko

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    STD-

    You seem to be asking for this kind of response:

    Because in patriarchal societies dominated by Judeo-Christian values like the one we live in right now, any hint of same-sex attraction is considered "effeminate" and, therefore, inherently unmanly and inferior to "genuine masculinity". Because women are considered by their very natures inherently inferior, base beings with destructive libidos that are set on a hair trigger, they cannot be blamed for their licentious behavior.

    <yawn>

    That thinking is so 1890s and ranks right up there with "hysteria" as an idea from which we can all safely move forward.

    We each owe it to ourselves to live our lives as honestly and openly as we feel is required. Allowing hang-ups that are generations old to continue to dictate your mores is, frankly, self-defeating, self-limiting and has a dull, unintelligent quality to it. I firmly believe it that we owe it to the lives we were born to to live them as fully and completely as possible: anything else is a kind of perversion against life.
     
  18. Gillette

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    What I'm reading from the question isn't so much about how the OP will see himself or how the other guy will see him but rather about how the women will see the men if the men also engage in same sex play.

    My stab at an answer.

    Where you are separately two heterosexual couples the assumed/imposed yet no less horseshit dynamic is that the women are the sensual creatures whereas the men are the chest beating types.

    It's perfectly understandable when you as a man show your more sensual, giving side with a woman. As muses for sensuality ourselves, we expect to inspire that in you. But for you to express that same sensuality with another man....well!

    Not all women are capable of coping with the fact that sensuality, tenderness and other positive qualities are in fact present in the man even without their divine inspiration. I think to a degree they feel threatened by it.

    If you're concerned that your woman might be one of these observe her reaction to smaller expression of affection you have with other men. Hug a long term friend next time you see him. Give his back a bit of a rub before the expected slaps before separating. If she seems surprised by it she might be. If she accepts it as business as usual shes smarter than those who hold the above-mentioned mindset.
     
  19. midlifebear

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    Bbucko: Have you've been reading Eckhart Tolle again? I swear, if I weren't already happily/contentedly committed to The Squeeze I'd risk venturing to where-ever-you-are, Florida, and beg you to marry me. You'd have to agree to move you to Spain, though. :biggrin1:
     
  20. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Exactly :yup: A woman will play with another woman and be comfortable doing so because she knows it is only playing, where as a man wont play with another man because he is so concerned about being called gay he cant remember even in his own mind that it is only playing, not choice for life
     
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