Why is it that................

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hotbodz8: Hi guys(and gals) I've been away for awhile. I'm glad to be back.

I just came from an another online message board where the topic of size came up and does it really matter etc. etc. etc.

One thing that intrigues me is that most of the time on these types of threads two separate "camps" if you will, inevitably come up. In one camp we have the guys that have small and average penises, and the ladies that love them. These guys are "good" guys that got shortchanged by nature, but supposedly they almost inevitably are better lovers because they are more sensitive and caring toward their partners, take more time with foreplay, and make up for their lack of size in other ways. In the other "camp" are the guys that are well endowed. Almost always these guys are characterized as being insensitive lugs that just jam their huge schlongs in and out of their partner with reckless abandon, kinda like a construction worker with a jackhammer tearing up an asphalt street. These guys supposedly don't care about their partners, don't take time with foreplay, and just seem to like to beat their partner's cervix into oblivion.

My question is, where did this stereotype come from? Why is it that you almost never hear about well endowed guys that DO care about their partner, are awesome with oral, and use their big tool with TLC?

I mean do the ladies on these boards say this stuff because they feel it might be too threatening to the egos of the guys that aren't well endowed to know that there are guys out there that are hung and yet are still awesome lovers who know how to use their stuff right?

Any input would be appreciated.

Again, glad to be back.

 

[13788]

H8Monga: *Waiting...*

 

[benderten2001]

[quote author=hotbodz8 link=board=sex;num=1057644193;start=0#0 date=07/07/03 at 22:54:13]

"I just came from an another online message board where the topic of size came up and does it really matter etc. etc. etc.

One thing that intrigues me is that most of the time on these types of threads two separate "camps" if you will, inevitably come up. In one camp we have the guys that have small and average penises, and the ladies that love them. These guys are "good" guys that got shortchanged by nature, but supposedly they almost inevitably are better lovers because they are more sensitive and caring toward their partners, take more time with foreplay, and make up for their lack of size in other ways. In the other "camp" are the guys that are well endowed. Almost always these guys are characterized as being insensitive lugs that just jam their huge schlongs in and out of their partner with reckless abandon, kinda like a construction worker with a jackhammer tearing up an asphalt street. These guys supposedly don't care about their partners, don't take time with foreplay, and just seem to like to beat their partner's cervix into oblivion.

My question is, where did this stereotype come from? Why is it that you almost never hear about well endowed guys that DO care about their partner, are awesome with oral, and use their big tool with TLC?

I mean do the ladies on these boards say this stuff because they feel it might be too threatening to the egos of the guys that aren't well endowed to know that there are guys out there that are hung and yet are still awesome lovers who know how to use their stuff right?

Any input would be appreciated. "

[/quote]


First, welcome back to the forum.

To answer your question, honestly I don't know.

I'm glad you called these "notions" just what they are--yet other examples of "stereotypes" which really is

(Bender's) Definition: Street talk that implies a truth but in reality is not always as it seems.

There are many guys out there who are big and may not realize how "big". They might be a little rough (innocently) at the outset and thereby set up their partner to not welcome "large" initially. They made a bad impression. After things settle, the soreness subsides and normal walking resumes, things might get better from that point. Who knows?-- Maybe, just maybe those men will take things easier from then on.

Still other "large" guys could not give a _ _ _ _ and go "rough shod" all the way--being selfish and non-caring... one session after another. -- Sad, really.

But, then--(and, I'd like to think this is more prevalent) there are men out there "on the big side" who not only respect what they have to offer but respect the one receiving it and exercise good judgment and some precaution and restraint to make the act as pleasurable as possible in every way. These are the men who are emotionally mature enough to put the needs and feelings of their partners FIRST.

Unfortunately, the worse stereotype you brought up is the insulting idea that men who are small (or under-sized) must be forced to conjure up additional ways to "make up" for their short comings.

With that kind of talk around, many men are likely to finally someday to opt not to have sex at all---why even bother? They will never compete with the big guys. It's a lost cause. Gosh ! Wonder what will become of THEM?

What a load of poop.

Truth is, despite what this forum sometimes implies
(and what still other sites more often say) there really are women in the world who will (and do!) love, adore, accept and have a great time (sexually) with men who are average or under and they both are quite happy...period.

Maybe we need to hear more from THEM than those who are constantly bragging about the advantages of "big"....you know to "even up" the score. More importantly--maybe help put this size stuff in a more healthier perspective... for ALL of us.

 

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AnonyMs: Large men are not as abundantly found as average men. Larger men rarer still and truly enormous are statistically insignificant from a population standpoint.

So a woman's chances of having sex with a large guy are not high.

Read the current thread found elsewhere on penetration where the guy is an obvious loser who cares nothing for his partner.

All it takes is one of those kind to give all large men a bad name.

Does it mean that there are not average guys who are rotten lovers? Of course there are! But as the sampling for average men is greater, women do not correlate it to penis size.

But have one bad experience with a guy with a penis of mythic proportion and all of sudden, it was caused by the size of his equipment - not because he would be a jerk with any sized penis.

It is not logical but stereotypes generally lack logic anyway.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Hmmm. Stereotyping.

Let's use an analogous example. What about jocks? (Yeah, and I'm thinking about the guys who spend more time on the field than in the books, talk about sports constantly, swigs the beer, tosses the pigskin, makes poor grades.)

Look what I just did, though. That word -- "jock" -- is laden with such associations, and it seems an important element of stereotype is that, because such associations seem so "true to life," that it's difficult to establish good ground as to why we make such associations or how they came about and developed so quickly. One theory that I think I'll toss in is, at least on the jock thing, men have social expectations for their behavior that they answer to or face consequence. One good way of asserting one's masculinity is to have a disproportionately high interest in sports, beer, and the opposite sex. The rest really doesn't matter. (Well, it does, but if you're trying to be the quintessential jock... nah.)

Big dicks, as we've pointed out before, have a strong correspondence with masculinity. And considering "real men" aren't supposed to be too sensitive or emotional, it would make sense for someone who wants to be a real man to pound away without abandon -- worrying about getting his nuts off.

 

[jay_too]

[quote author=DeeBlackthorne link=board=sex;num=1057644193;start=0#4 date=07/08/03 at 11:21:15]Hmmm.  Stereotyping.

Big dicks, as we've pointed out before, have a strong correspondence with masculinity.  And considering "real men" aren't supposed to be too sensitive or emotional, it would make sense for someone who wants to be a real man to pound away without abandon -- worrying about getting his nuts off.  

[/quote]

or maybe a real man knows that the way to sex is to be patient and get the juices flowing; otherwise, one or both will end up sore. to me sex should be fun and funny and maybe a little athletic....and afterwards, the glow.

with wham, bam, thank you mam'n, you are likely to end up with a sore dick, a one night (or one time) stand, and no glow. i like repeat sessions where we can apply what we learned previously....am i a sex pervert? you betcha!

jay

 

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TragicWhiteKnight: This is one of those threads where pretty much all the points I had to say have already been taken. So, I'll look stupid by only having my more 'controversial' point to add.

Part of the stereotype is almost certainly based on social reinforcement for average guys; and, as AnonyMys suggests, this makes up 95% or so of the population, so it's understandable that public discourse is going to be weighted in their favour. Most the threads that hotbodz talks about that descend into this kind of dichotomy are concerned with stroking the ego of the average man. It's less a case of stereotypes than archetypes; extreme cases to prove that an average man can be a better lover than a larger man. Obviously, the examples used are sociologically (and more besides) flawed & the parable unnecessary (because small/average guys can be enough to satisfy, regardless of extra-penile prowess). And to most there's no harm in creating this 'huge dicked bastard' stereotype because the odds are against the fact they'll ever meet any kind of 'huge dicked' guy to rectify it.

And that's how the world goes round.

 

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hotbodz8: AnonyMs and Tragic,

I liked your responses the best so far. I guess I failed to consider that well endowed men make up a very small percentage of our population, therefore a woman is more than likely not going to encounter a true above average guy often, if at all. So if she encounters one, and he happens to be an idiot, then I guess she would be jaded and have a blanket negative stereotype of all hung guys. But I also believe a lot of this type of stereotype is meant to soothe the egos of less well endowed guys which I guess is okay because if a large percentage of below 7" guys decided they could never please a woman so why even try, and thus decided to bow completely out of the relationship game, that would leave a lot of women lonely for a stupid reason. Maybe even some women that would probably be better suited to a smaller or average sized guy due to size(or lack thereof) considerations on their part.

Dee
As far as your example on stereotyping, I guess if what you say is true I kind of have to deal with a "double whammy" in the stereotyping dept. because besides having an 8" plus piece of equipment, I'm also a 5-9 205 lb. bodybuilder. So I get the insensitive big schlonged guy stereotype, along with the "can't cross the street and chew gum at the same time" stupid bodybuilder stereotype. Oh well, nobody ever said life was fair, huh?

 

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H8Monga: Why does it seem like every woman has had someone who's at least 7" in length? I've met many who claim 7" is average and 6" or about isn't. I knwo they're wrong, but if the numbers are so low, why are there so many for a woman to have had at least one? I don't know any woman who has never seen a hung guy in person. Not one.

 

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traysheeka: Perfect post for me to reply to!!! ;D

Anyways, being a female, I think I can help answer it from "our" point of view, see, u have these guys who are big and very cocky, that think they dont have to put in any work as if the size just compensates for all of that, and I know for a fact thats not true with all of the over average guys, but there are quite a few, whereas u have the average sized guys who feel its necessary to go the extra mile to please us. Also, lemme not forget about the women who go around saying that they need a big man to please them, nothing less than 8, and all that bullcrap, so of course if a big man hears that, he feels that all he need is that big dick to do the job. Its somewhat confusing, but true!!