Why is it that...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Ramsey, May 22, 2008.

  1. Ramsey

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    Ok, I don't want to pick on the ladies because I do adore them, but why are there some double-standards?
    I have a close friend who many times wants to talk to me and needs my help and emotional support, but as soon as I need hers, then she gets turned off and feels I'm clingy or something. And women need to hear "I love you" but if a guy needs to, then he's insecure...why is that? And why does my best friend status with this lady seem to change on the day? I've noticed other friends like that too. Is it wrong for a guy to want to feel needed?

    Ladies, please don't think I'm picking on you, I'm just trying to understand. I'd rather understand you than become a misogynist like some guys. How does a guy get back the best friends status or is it just a mood swing thing? I'd rather get input from women though, than going off on my friend like some sort of spaztic retard.
     
  2. GirlNextDoor86

    GirlNextDoor86 New Member

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    I feel bad that girls like that give the rest of us understanding, caring girls a bad image. I think that it's so important in any relationship, friends or couple, to be able to count on the other for support. Also, it doesn't make a guy any less of a man to want to feel loved and appreciated.
     
  3. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    I feel men and women are very moody any more.
     
  4. Ramsey

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    Thanks GirlNextDoor, that's the main thing is that feeling loved and appreciated is important, and sometimes my friend's behavior seems to be giving me the problems she later complains about.
     
  5. Ramsey

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    No one else has experienced this?
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    That's stupid, friends are for support and emotion sharing whenever it's needed, not just on someones conditions. Perhaps it's time to loose the lady friend until she grows up a little bit, men need emotional support and understanding too.
     
  7. unabear09

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    I ended a year and a half relationship with a woman I considered to be my best friend over something like this. I was always there to love, support, and take care of her and her kids, and the one time I needed her love, support, and understanding, she turned into a psycho bitch from hell. Oh well... 'Not all women are like that (eek....at least I hope they're not), so don't give up hope......its mainly the immature women who are like this.
     
  8. Phil Ayesho

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    Well... biologically... men who seem needy seem weak.

    Women want you to be strong because that is one of your few biological uses.


    Women today often CLAIM they want a man to be 'emotionally open'... but in practice most men very quickly learn that that is not the whole truth.


    Women want best friends who can be emotionally frank with them... and often make the mistake of thinking they would like their husband or boyfriend to fulfill this role...
    But when men try it the women may appreciate it on an intellectual level, but suddenly find you a lot less attractive physically.


    We can not help the fact that, despite what we WISH were true, despite what we THINK we would like.... Our bodies are still largely governed by genetically driven response that we can not alter.

    Women are drawn to powerful, confident men... they are programed that way...

    Some not very bright women might mistake aggression and belligerence for confidence and power... but keep in mind that for most of human history, aggression WAS the basis of male power.


    To that end... ANYTHING you do that makes you seem less confident will negatively affect women's emotional response to you.



    The sad truth is that women do not really want to hear how YOU really feel.

    They want to hear from you the things that will make them feel secure.

    Real men recognize this, cowboy up, and try and live up to this expectation for the women they love.
     
  9. Ramsey

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    Yes, I know this deep down, but it's rather sad. I don't see men similar kinds of things. I'll cowboy up for a woman if I ever get married, but what a sad disappointment on the state of womanhood. If what Phil says true, ladies, what do you want a husband for? It certainly doesn't seem like most women really want a guy's heart and head, just his arms, dick and protection. I don't want to equate women with vampires who are incapable of giving without taking for themselves, but it seems to be more true as things go on.

    What's really sad though, is my friend is not someone I'm interested in, it's a situation a lot like Unabear's, where I am a friend who is needed when she needs it, am there for her kids all the time (until her oldest teenage daughters turned into self-centered ho's). Now, she hasn't turned into she-bitch from hell yet, but she is certainly colder and ignores me when sometimes I need to talk. Maybe I need to go take some more angst pills...
     
  10. lucky8

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    ive noticed that about many girls too. i have no problem when one of my friends is feeling bad and needs someone to talk to, but as soon as the tables are turned, all i ever hear is "awww, im sorry"
     
  11. Ramsey

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    I get that too, at least it's something. But I am not a fan of the pat responses. Sometimes though all I get is ignored, and yet the person who ignores me complains endlessly of being ignored by her husband or other friends. ARRRRGGG!
     
  12. unabear09

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    Its either that, or more common with me is.... you're a grown man, suck it up and deal with it yourself. or you must be gay, because men shouldn't feel react this way.....I'm being a bit facitious on that last one, but I have heard so many times that I am weird for having feelings and emotions, therefore I must be gay.....not saying that there's anything wrong with that, but being straight (30% gay is mainy curiosity, and a thing for anal play) and consistantly being labeled gay by women you have strong feelings for hurts.
     
  13. lucky8

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    i think phil is right though. MANY women are very insecure and selfish, and are so wrapped up in what they want that they don't even realize it. men are actually very understanding creatures, we've just learned that the majority of the time, being caring and understanding will only get us so far, so we tend to hide it more often than show it because we don't want to end up looking like an ass in the end
     
  14. B_retracted

    B_retracted New Member

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    OP, women are complicated. Like, they'll say they want a nice guy but then they toss him aside and hook up with the big dicked bad boy who'll steal everything in her home that isn't nailed down and then fuck her mother, best friend, sister and the chick who works at the laundromat.

    And then they'll say all men are bastards.

    *rolls eyes*

    I grew up in a very female dominated family and I have to say that women love nothing more than to get together and bitch about their husbands/boyfriends. Then they run right back to them. You'd think if they truly hated their husbands/boyfriends so much, they'd dump them but I guess it gives them something to bitch about. Then again, maybe they only do it because the others are. Unfortunately, those others are probably only doing it because they think they should. It' s a vicious circle.

    Thank God I'm gay so I don't have to put up with their shit.
     
  15. Ramsey

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    Yes, women are complicated. I'm not gay but a lot of times I almost wish I was. I know guys have their problems too, but guys seem more accepting and less judge-mental. That's a generalization of course. I've seen women nit-pick men and destroy all their self-confidence.
     
  16. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Get in line with a social worker.. we are understanding ;)
     
  17. AlteredEgo

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    There are no over-generalizations in this thread. Nope. None at all.:rolleyes:
     
  18. Ethyl

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    Isn't that what men are programmed to do? :tongue:

    Seriously, if you guys want to go the genetic programming route, then stop complaining about how complicated women are. According to the rules you want us to follow that benefit you, we're all "complicated".

    And we're not. We're complex. It's what makes us so wonderful.

    1) Place this in pipe. 2) Smoke.
     
  19. Love-it

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    I laugh about my wife, everyday I get to hear all about her day, her problems and about her interactions with people and friends, what she did and where she's been. Every couple of years I will say "Why don't you ask me how my day was." So she asks and I reply "Fine."
     
  20. Phil Ayesho

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    Its not a sad state of womanhood.
    Men are no different... how many women do you need to hear sound off about men only being interested in them for their bodies?
    Men are driven by genetics every bit as much as women.

    What is needed is for BOTH genders to recognize and accept not only their own biological biases... but to accept those of their mates as well.



    Women can love you and be supportive and all of that... Most women ARE.... but if you want to remain attractive and admirable to them, long term... you are going to have to understand what drives that response in them... and that is strength. Strength of character. Emotional strength.



    And gals... if you want your man to think the world of you, long term, then you had better understand that what we want from you more than anything is the sense that you find us admirable and desire our physical attentions.

    We should stop "WISHING" human beings were different than they are and start accepting each other as we are....
     
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