Why is liking it "rough" something to be embarassed about?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Woodland, Jul 31, 2011.

  1. Woodland

    Woodland Active Member

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    All but one of the girls I have been with, have eventually told me that they liked sex to be "rough".

    Why is it still something girls are shy about? Seems pretty common, if my exes are ant indication.

    Anyone have an opinion?
     
  2. D_Teasdale Tittithorne

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    That's interesting... Even my more inhibited friends have indicated to me that they often like it rough. Maybe they're afraid to admit it to a sexual partner. That would be sad though; if she's willing to bed you, she should be comfortable enough to communicate openly about it.
     
  3. dolfette

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    aside from the blindingly obvious one?
    if it's common knowledge that you like it rough, some men will interpret that as no means yes. should a guy attack you, rape you, leave you black & blue? everyone knows you like it rough!
     
  4. D_Teasdale Tittithorne

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    I didn't find that blindingly obvious. In fact, I don't think that's true at all...
     
  5. sweet_petite

    sweet_petite New Member

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    exactly! I would only admit it to a trusted partner.. so many guys out there could misread it as the above.
     
  6. molotovmuffin

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    To me if someone says they like it rough, it means "I'm lazy and you can do all the work."

    Sometimes, people say one thing and mean another. Does she like it rough or does she actually like to be ravished? Is her rough sex more controlled like in bondage or does she just want you to jack hammer away until your done and she can roll over and go to sleep?

    I happen to like a very assertive man in bed, read that as "a dominate that likes to give" because I'm a "dominate that likes to receive" but I'm am not a submissive.
     
  7. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    Seconded.

    Perhaps it's not that they are embarrassed, just unwilling to share that information with someone they haven't known long enough to trust. Also, there are ways to show someone you want rough sex without telling them so.
     
  8. Guy-jin

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    It isn't "blindingly obvious" to those of us who want nothing to do with "rough sex".


    ^QFT
     
  9. dolfette

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    there have been cases where it was used as the defence.
    in the news & shit.
     
  10. pcghabsy

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    "Like it rough" is fairly open to interpretation, I suppose.
     
  11. MsThang

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    I have no problems telling a guy I like it rough but from talking to girlfriends I have realized "rough" is too broad of a description. One girlfriend who likes rough sex told me she is very submissive and likes to be choked. My definition of rough sex entails a man thrusting deep and hard. I do not consider myself submissive and have no desire to be choked or manhandled while having sex. Also, I don't want to have rough sex all the time. I would prefer to change it up so sex isn't predictable and boring.
     
  12. nicenycdick

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    So, bring no handcuffs to the NYC Bar Nite event, huh?
     
  13. luka82

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    I believe such play in bed should be reserved only for people you trust.
    I wouldn`t advise it for your first sexual encounter with a person, ever.
     
  14. D_Hey Sailor

    D_Hey Sailor New Member

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    So far the thread has pretty much summed up the "like it rough" issue I've always had: ambiguity.

    For me, rough might be "harder" or whatever else I might want at that *moment* like a bit of hair tuggin' or a pinch n' twist. So, instead of telling the guy I like it rough and letting him run away with the idea in his own dirtay/purrrverse ways, I just tell him what I want. Plus it saves me the hassle of making him think I like sex rough in general.

    Seems simple and safe, plus it saves my cheeky duo... :spank:
     
  15. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    I'm the one who would more than likely bring "rough sex" into the bedroom but trust me there would be absolutely no ambiguity about the hows and the whys.

    I'm disconcertingly direct and it's flustered more than one new playmate.
     
    #15 The Dragon, Jul 31, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2011
  16. Woodland

    Woodland Active Member

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    I suppose I wasn't clear about who the girls were sharing it with. I meant in a realationship. From my experience, most girls I was in a relationship with were shy to admit liking it rough.

    I didn't mean to imply that a girl would put it in her resume'. :biggrin1:
     
  17. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'm a sub and I like it rough. I like to be fucked hard and deep. I like to be held down. I like him to grab me by the hair. I like a little pain mixed in with my pleasure. I like to be regularly reminded that he's bigger and stronger than me.

    I don't find it at all embarrassing, but I do find it hard to tell guys exactly what I want. I seem to go shy and clam up unless asked very specific questions. No idea why because I'm not shy when it comes to talking about sex in general. I much prefer him to have brilliant mind/body reading skills. Then he can magically know what I want without me having to say a word.
     
  18. dolfette

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    true. a lot of guys find that very intimidating.
     
  19. Daisy

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    I am certainly not a sub (no offense SG!) but I like it rough and I have no issue with saying so. I'm a little confused about the opinions expressed. First of all yes there is a chance that if you say you like it rough some men will use it as an excuse to abuse a woman, but then again wouldn't any man who did that be inclined to do it with or without your preferences?
    and lazy?? I hope that was sarcasm.

    I don't see the big deal, if you like to be fucked hard who the hell cares?
     
  20. BlackGirl

    BlackGirl New Member

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    Any woman who is shy about liking it rough just isn't comfortable with her sexuality. I like it rough at times, some of my best orgasms occur during rough sex and it isn't anything to be ashamed of.
     
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