Why Is She Being Like This

[Knight]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande@May 10 2005, 10:51 PM
Maybe your girl is scared because you are moving close to her...Maybe it was kind of a security blanket that you guys were so far apart...Get her concerns or feeling out there before you make some a huge committment w/moving...Good luck...

[post=309853]Quoted post[/post]​

Yeah thanks. I told her that, in an email tonight since her phone was magically working then not working. I phoned for a few mins, then tried to phone right after for half an hour, every five minutes and she never answered. So I told her I dont need to be messed around like this *sigh*

 

[Freddie53]

Originally posted by Knight@May 10 2005, 01:33 PM
Lol its okay I'm not religious anyways.

So tonight she was calmed down but told me it was because she's scared she's pregnant which I really doubt she is. Last time we had 'sex' I was inside her for only about two minutes and didnt cum.

I told her it was stress, she didnt believe stress could delay her period so she learnt something

Then I asked her if she'd ever had a late period before, she said she had but now it was in a pattern. I asked her after that if she'd ever been as stressed as she has been recently lol and she said no. So looks like she's just scared she's pregnant. She isn't though and we've been through it, even if she was, its all under control.

BTW she's three days late at the most...

[post=309821]Quoted post[/post]​

Hope all is OK by now. But many guys don't know this, put precum sometimes has sperm in it. Women have gotten pregnant from a man who didn't cum at all. And there have been a few pregnancies where the guy did come or precum and had sperm on his fingers and the fingers were inserted into the vagina and the girl ended up pregnant without the penis ever being close to the vagina. It happens very rarely. But it can happen. And this information came from a doctor, not some word on the street.

Whatever you do Knight, if you love her, give her all the emotional support she needs. Sometimes being there means to back off a little and give space. Other times it means almost hovering.

Good luck and hope you read the signals well.

 

[13788]

carolinacurious:

Originally posted by Dr Rock+May 9 2005, 06:21 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Dr Rock &#064; May 9 2005, 06:21 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'>if she doesn&#39;t wanna be bugged, quit bugging her. if she wants to speak to you, she will do; there&#39;s nothing to be gained by pushing it if she doesn&#39;t. if you don&#39;t know what&#39;s wrong then all you can do is sit it out. read some books or go cycling or something.

[post=309445]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b]

Originally posted by naughty@May 10 2005, 04:18 AM
Knight,

I think Dr.Rock is giving you some good advice. Give her some time to miss you. If she has issues then she needs to deal with them. IF they relate to you then she needs to say so. But for the time being let her be and get really busy. There is nothing like getting busy with something else. Who knows you too may get a better perspective on the situation yourself.


Naughty

[post=309704]Quoted post[/post]​

Originally posted by Knight@May 10 2005, 07:21 PM
<!--QuoteBegin-Pene_Negro_Grande

@May 10 2005, 10:51 PM
Maybe your girl is scared because you are moving close to her...Maybe it was kind of a security blanket that you guys were so far apart...Get her concerns or feeling out there before you make some a huge committment w/moving...Good luck...

[post=309853]Quoted post[/post]​

Yeah thanks. I told her that, in an email tonight since her phone was magically working then not working. I phoned for a few mins, then tried to phone right after for half an hour, every five minutes and she never answered. So I told her I dont need to be messed around like this.
*sigh*

[post=309917]Quoted post[/post]​

[/quote]


OK, First off Dr. Rock and Naughty have given you some GOLDEN advice. Remember, you&#39;re doing some of this to yourself&#33; (Calling every five minutes...) I&#39;m not criticizing or looking down on you, I know how stupid some of this stuff is because I&#39;ve done it ALL myself.

You have the unfortunate "possible pregnancy" issue where you certainly don&#39;t want to come across as if you are abandoning her to deal with it on her own BUT she&#39;s doing a bit of avoiding you on her part.

So listen, if someone is having doubts about you, or just thinking, or whatever, generally the best thing to do is to show them what it&#39;s like to not have you in their life. Admittedly this is more geared towards breakup advice, AND IT IS PERFECT BREAKUP ADVICE but it may be applicable here. If you didn&#39;t want to talk to someone, for whatever reason, what woud happen if they called your house every five minutes?

IMO right now is not the time to get aggressive ("So I told her I dont need to be messed around like this.") But I do see what Freddie&#39;s saying as well. I think I would send an email along the lines of, "You&#39;re willing to listen until doomsday, WHEN she&#39;s ready to talk, and for her to call you or email you when she&#39;s ready." Then go do something to get your mind off it.

 

[Knight]

I was only phoning her every five minutes because she SAID it was okay to phone back, and was wondering why she wasnt answering and I really wanted to talk to her and sort all this shit out. She&#39;ll be cryin tomorrow, thinkin I want to break up with her. We&#39;ll see...

 

[naughty]

Originally posted by Knight@May 11 2005, 03:38 AM
I was only phoning her every five minutes because she SAID it was okay to phone back, and was wondering why she wasnt answering and I really wanted to talk to her and sort all this shit out. She&#39;ll be cryin tomorrow, thinkin I want to break up with her. We&#39;ll see...

[post=309941]Quoted post[/post]​

Knight,

I know this is enough to make you throw your hands up in the air and never look at another girl again( just kidding&#33; ) but please step back... I think many suggestions have been made to you. As crazy as it seems when something is too available some people freak out and run for the hills. I know you probably feel like someone in this situation is having a bad Exstasy flashback, but dont you freak out too. This is probably one of the things they dont tell you in sex ed.The emotional component to becoming intimate. It releases all sorts of hormones that make people want to bond and some run. Not to mention the added horror of possibly being pregnant and all that it signifies. So hang in there and know that some of us are praying for you.

naughty

 

[Freddie53]

Knight,

Sometimes it seems your damned if you do and damned if you don&#39;t. There is no way any of us can read your girl firend&#39;s mind at this time. I&#39;m not sure she can either. On the one hand, she wants to talk to you and on the other she doesn&#39;t know what to say.

Also, think about yourself. How strung out are you about this? How is that reflected in your voice? I know without a doubt you are honorable and you love her and would do anything for her. But the truth is you are scared too and I suspect it shows. So we have two young lovers who love each other but are frightened at some possiblities that might have to be faced like an unplanned pregnancy or a female problem.

Just know that I care. I don&#39;t know any right or wrong answers. Just when you talk to her, put your tongue in neutral and put your ears into gear and LISTEN. LISTEN for the answers and not in the words, but the feelings behind those words. And what words were NOT said are as important as words that WERE said.

Listen with your heart as well as with your ears. Maybe you will hear some answers and you and your girlfriend will have things worked out.

I know this. You are a great guy. I admire you very much. If I were recreated as a young woman, I would want a smart considerate, loving guy like you.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by Freddie53@May 10 2005, 10:55 PM
Hope all is OK by now. But many guys don&#39;t know this, put precum sometimes has sperm in it. Women have gotten pregnant from a man who didn&#39;t cum at all. And there have been a few pregnancies where the guy did come or precum and had sperm on his fingers and the fingers were inserted into the vagina and the girl ended up pregnant without the penis ever being close to the vagina. It happens very rarely. But it can happen. And this information came from a doctor, not some word on the street.

Whatever you do Knight, if you love her, give her all the emotional support she needs. Sometimes being there means to back off a little and give space. Other times it means almost hovering.

Good luck and hope you read the signals well.

[post=309927]Quoted post[/post]​

Take it from me - I know from personal experience that a girl can get pregnant from precum...That is why I really wanted to say something when Knight said he only left it in for a couple of minutes...Take my word it happened to me just like you were describing and I thought I was being careful by stopping after like 2 mins and then putting on a condom (WRONG)...Good thing we both realized I was too young to be a father plus she was much older than myself and knew not only was I too young to be a father but also too young and not wanting to be a husband...From that incident I never go w/o a condom at all - no exceptions...

 

[Dr. Bubbles]

Knight,

I think you have received some excellent advise, particularly from Naughty and Dr. Rock.

Women respond and act differently with their cycles. Some women experience a lot of pain and cramping and simply do not want to be bothered with anyone, even those who are trying to be helpful. Being one of those women, my period is a time when I don&#39;t want to see anyone, be near anyone or have anyone asking me any questions. She simply might be one of those people - even if it is late. Even if she is "just" late, the symptoms occur early - almost like a precursor, if you will.

On the other hand, if she is late, she might be a little concerned. I can appreciate you saying that "everything is cool," but for her, it is a little different. Women have a lot more responsibility when talking about the possibilities of pregnancy as well as the public outlash if she is young and unmarried. Males get off easier. I can see where this is a concern for her, especially with the morality police and her thoughts about people judging her. I will leave that as is....

Be gentle with her. If she tells you that she needs a breather, give it to her. Maybe you should wait for her to call. Allow her time to get over this; obviously something is going on and she needs time to adjust and cope with it before bringing anyone else in the picture. She is not lashing out towards you, I don&#39;t think. Let her get her thoughts together and then she will hook back up with you.

Wishing you well.................

bb

 

[Knight]

Thanks. Okay so its all sorted now, I&#39;m not going to do anything to anger her or enter into any arguments and wait til next week when I can go down and talk to her.