I heartily agree with the part of your premise that seeks to find more commonality and happiness across males of all types rather than differences. It's a valuable message from a woman that she appreciates guys in both camps and considers that 5 cm of skin to be significantly less important than the overall man she's with.
The "reason" there is so much obsession with circumcision has to do with a manufactured, built-in dissent fueled by a large country that has been pushing circumcision for over 75 years as if it's part of the early childhood vaccine suite. As part of the marketing message, there is a promotion from American doctors that circumcision is cleaner and healthier, implying that a circumcised guy is cleaner, healthier and more attractive than his natural counterpart. Couple that with guys' incessant urge to compare, to battle and to win, and you get a continual quest to figure out who's "better". It gets ridiculous when guys resort to extremes and call each other inherently unclean or objectively crippled.
I doubt you'd see this debate if the whole world looked like the UK in the circumcision department. Most guys there are intact, and about one in 8 are circumcised at some point for understandable religious, medical or other personal reasons. But it doesn't... the UK helped export this nasty fad over 100 years ago to all its English-speaking offspring; then, when it was well-entrenched, declared, "Just kidding!" and totally stopped doing it at home. Contrast that with the USA, where many -- possibly most -- women have never encountered a real foreskin in their lives. My European friends are mystified why there is such a raging argument over here about something that seems so trivial.
Oh god, I remember endless questioning at the uni cafeteria breakfast table whenever this subject came up. Guys would badger girls about which they liked better (hoping their side won) and why, and how much better?, and asking to list all the reasons why, and how many of each had the women been with, etc. As a gay man I never said a word in any of these discussions but it opened my eyes to a lot of ignorance and insecurity among guys, especially cut guys. Some girls answered honestly as best they could, but others looked like they'd rather be on an ice shelf in Antarctica than pestered about who was the "winner" in the penis skin department.
I agree with you that some of the questions and opening salvos are downright moronic. Maybe it reflects that there's little sensible left to be said about the subject, so folks have resorted to the picayune, obscure and spiteful.