Why the aggression and attitude?

[AndrewEndowed24]

Thats how. Both responses were polite, yet both caused trouble for him.

I admit that in hearing more of the situation from deep himself I realize I misunderstood it to a degree.

However let's be clear, he was clearly trying in both of those circumstances he was trying to provocative and with the hanukkah thing, he was clearly trying to provoke her ie. he was only just technically being polite rather than actually being polite.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I admit that in hearing more of the situation from deep himself I realize I misunderstood it to a degree.

However let's be clear, he was clearly trying in both of those circumstances he was trying to provocative and with the hanuka thing, he was clearly trying to provoke her ie. he was only just technically being polite rather than actually being polite.

LOL Andrew, I find it incredibly interesting (from a psychology point of view) that you find her "merry christmas" greeting to be genuine and caring, and my "happy hanukkah" response to be polite but intentionally provocative, especially since you don't know the personality of either person. I'm not taking offense at you, just observing that with two innocent comments, the christmas one is assumed to be innocent and the hanukkah one is assumed to be an intentional provocation.

 

[novice_btm]

Andrew and Novice, you are being blind. I have tried everything I know how to do, without specifically responding "merry christmas to you, too." None of it has worked. The "blank stare" reference was a bit of hyperbole; I have only ever used that one with people whom I see on a regular basis, who have not gotten the point from my "polite but non-committal" responses.

I'm not being "blind", I was going strictly by what you listed in the OP, as that's the only info that I had to work with.

Novice, it just feels very odd to say "very well, thank you" after someone tells me "merry christmas."

That's a bit out of context to what I wrote. I was speaking about returning a general greeting, like, "hey, how's it going?" and not "Merry Christmas".

Novice, Naughty, and Andrew: I tried using "happy holidays" in response, and yes, I have had aggressive responses to that one, too.

Well, if you're pleasant back, and your only "offense" is not specifically saying "Merry Christmas" then I agree, they're being close-minded pricks.

...I have tried everything I can think of over the last 18 "Thanksgiving-to-New-Year's-Day" periods, to politely exclude myself from the christmas celebration. It has not worked.

Well, short of hibernation, or going overseas, I'm afraid I'm outta ideas on this one. I've had individual years where I've felt that way, and it's pretty impossible to escape.

 

[dexman]

I think (some) people have WAY too much time on their hands and WAY too much emotional investment in the whole Christmas/Holiday event.

I'm a Christian, but I recognize that the entire world isn't, and that's NOT a bad thing, it's just the way it is. Personally I couldn't care less as long as people can get over themselves and just get along. It's all I can do to keep my own shit together, get up in the morning, go to work and get through this life in one piece. Christian, Jew, Buddist, Agnostic, Atheist, Merry Xmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, Happy Kwanza--who gives a flying fuck, you know?

I only say "Merry Xmas" to people I either know to be Christian, or that I know don't give a shit either way. Otherwise I say "Happy Holidays" to everyone whose persuasion I don't know, or to some Jews that I know well enough to be sure that they'll interpret that as an all encompassing salutation, and not be offended.

As to why there's aggression and attitude about this? You need only look to what's been going on in the Middle East and some parts of Africa for the past several hundred or thousand years to get the answer to that question.

"Don't take life too seriously, or you'll never get through it alive."
--Bugs Bunny

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Why not just say thank you and go on about your business. Life is a lot less stressful when we avoid unnecessary confrontations. You don't have to say I don't believe in it. Why start a confrontation with them just because you don't celebrate what they do. I was going to nominate some peeps from here to be virgins sacrificed to the volcano god. I think I am too late to pick from this group.

 

[naughty]

DC,

I am so glad We live here in the United States. We at least have a chance at having our differences in belief and other aspects of our daily lives respected. In Moslem countries, I am sure you would not only feel suffocated but in danger of your life... I am just speaking the truth... When my brother returned from a trip over in Cairo for a month he had tears in his eyes when he talked about the way women and those who are not Islamic are treated. We at least have the opportunity to have our voice heard. We think we live with intolerance here, we havent seen any parts of intolerance...

 

[titan1968]

I think it goes both ways. If someone wishes you a Merry/Happy Christmas, the least you can do is wish them a Merry Christmas too-- it's called courtesy. If you want other people to respect you, you have to respect them.

I even send X-Mas greetings to my non-Christian/Roman Catholic friends, and they always respond with X-Mas cards. Do they have to? NO! Do I force them to? HECK NO! They do it out of respect for my religion. I also send them greetings on their holidays. Do I have to? No....

Unlike what some of you have said, Christmas still is a celebration of the birth of Christ; it isn't only about shopping and 'pressies'; it isn't only for children. It's about the gift of giving. And yes, people should also be nice to one another throughout the year, not only at Christmas.

DC, whether or not you decorate your office or how you decorate it isn't the issue. The issue is the message: no glad tidings, only perceived arrogance and veiled criticism.

Ah, my old buddy Beaker, always here to cheer me up.

I played a gig yesterday for a "holiday" party that was mostly a christmas party.

<sigh> When you are the hired help, you have to put your personal feelings on hold.

Funny thing, rob, one time I did want to see what the reaction would be... so when one co-worker (who loved to bray about what a devout christian she was) wished me a merry christmas, I smiled and replied "and a happy hanukkah to you, Tina!" She literally screamed at me that she was a christian, not a jew; then promptly turned around, stormed into our manager's office, and filed a formal complaint against me for religious harrassment. True story. In a different workplace, I did the same, except I told the co-worker to "have a happy solstice." I didn't get reported, but had some other problems that stemmed from that incident.

 

[naughty]

Hootie,

YOu might be surprised who is lurking amongst the heathens....

Why not just say thank you and go on about your business. Life is a lot less stressful when we avoid unnecessary confrontations. You don't have to say I don't believe in it. Why start a confrontation with them just because you don't celebrate what they do. I was going to nominate some peeps from here to be virgins sacrificed to the volcano god. I think I am too late to pick from this group.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Was it last year or the year before, when Wal-Mart was shredded in the media for trying to be more inclusive by changing from a christmas-centric marketing blitz to a "holiday/seasonal" marketing blitz? They wanted to have holiday sales instead of christmas sales, and were (figuratively) crucified, with claims that they were taking christ out of christmas.

hootie, again, you are not reading my post, or you are only seeing in it what you want to see.

titan, you are wrong. It has nothing at all to do with courtesy. It has everything to do with respect, and minding one's own business. For someone to expect me to join their religious celebrations "just to fit in" or "just to be polite" is no different than if I had a dinner party, invited persons with religious dietary restrictions, served something I knew they couldn't eat, and then got offended that they refused to eat it.

Should jews eat a shrimp dinner "just to be polite?" Should a muslim eat pork chops simply because that is what is served to them? Should I not be allowed to abstain from decorating my office, if that's what I choose?

As I have pointed out repeatedly, I attempt to evade the celebration as best I can with as little fanfare as possible. Other people just do not seem willing to let it go at that.

I'm not a grouchy scrooge, I'm actually pretty outgoing and gregarious. I just do not like to be forced into joining a celebration in which I do not believe.

Naughty, I doubt I would have survived to adulthood in a muslim country. I almost certainly would have been executed in the public square before my 20th birthday.

It tells volumes, though, that so many are telling me I am in the wrong for not actively supporting christmas.

 

[LeeEJ]

Just can't win can ya DC?

Respond politely and you're in the shit, don't responde at all and you're in the shit.

Trying to explian your position on christmas and asking people to respect that and stick to normal greetings with you wouldn't work either, they'd only claim you were trying to upset people and making a fuss over nothing.

Feel free to blank me if ever I say Merry Christmas (I'd be so drunk to have said it in the first place that I probably wouldn't notice anyway)

You sound like you're addressing all of Washington, DC, not just DC_DEEP.. lol

(some days I hate this fucking town)

 

[madame_zora]

Wow, this is a healing moment for me. I have hated christmas for two decades at least, and other than obligatory gifts for immdiate family members, I prefer to skulk off and just be left alone. Don't give a shit how anyone else thinks I should spend my time.

I hate commercialism, it doesn't implant a false feeling of love in me. I hate hearing those few fucking songs regurgitated over and over everywhere you go for over a fucking month- is it really that hard to write a few new songs?

As for the birth of Christ, nigga please. This is what makes me less and less respectful of christians in general- they are so fucking ignorant of their own religion, but they expect me to just fall in line with their contrived, manufactured beliefs. It ain't happ'nin.

December 17th was the birth of Saturn, and December 25th the celebration of Sol, the sun. Reading the scientific news lately, perhaps we'd be best of worshipping him, as it turns out. Winter solstice is on or about December 22, so smart-thinking Catholic officials declared December 25th as Christ's birthday, having no honest idea when it was.

Don’t preach on festive mania : Express & Star

Now, you'll excuse me if I don't just fall in line with accepting this fallacy that came some 300 YEARS after Jesus died! No reason why I should. All of you who think "tradition" is a reason for doing things, well that's fine for you, but if you try to impose that kind of nonsensical shit on me, you're going to hear an earful. I'm no longer even remotely interested in placating the ignorant, nor do I care how they react.

DC, I am also polite the vast majority of the time, because it improves MY quality of life to talk to people wherever I go. I don't just do it at xmas, this is how I live. People often find it annoying to travel with me because I do stop and talk to everyone, even kids. BUT, if someone feels that their rights supercede mine just because THEY are xian, well fuckalottathat. I don't give a shit about their sensitivity, their fat babies running all over the place, their fabled beliefs, and I sure as fuck don't feel obliged to perpetuate the substitution they've made to replace the hole in their hearts that was left by discovering that Santa wasn't real (I can't be the only one to have drawn that conclusion, am I?)

 

[Caelestis]

I salute you DC_DEEP, Sir!

From this moment forward I shall not respond with Happy Christmas, I shall instead use Happy Holidays.

I haven't read all this thread, so I'm sorry if someone has already said this:

You should go to your management and complain: Your collegues repeated insistence to greet you with "Happy Christmas", referring to a celebration in which to do not participate, is offensive to you. You would like them to adhere to your religious beliefs and greet you instead with "Hello" or "Happy Holidays" to avoid the emotional trauma you feel from the traditional phrasing.

If your management disagree and wish to proceed with any form of disciplinary proceedings, I would personally recommend finding the nearest bauble and inserting it forcibly, rectally.

For all you religious nuts who'll flame me now, I have two things: 1. Shut up 2. I don't object to your religions, I just wish to have no part in any of them.

 

[DC_DEEP]

LOL well, judging by a large number of the responses in this thread, if I actually had a religion, people should be polite to me by participating, however briefly and shallowly, in MY religion.

Hmm, perhaps I should find and join one whose traditions include having ritual sex with big-dick men.

"Season's greetings, drop your drawers!" "Oh, come on, get into the Sexmas Spirit!!!"

 

[AlteredEgo]

I will gladly allow you to enjoy the holiday. But please, do not harrass me if I return your "Merry Christmas" with a blank stare.

I'm with you until that point. That part is just rude. It's just as easy to say something like, "Thanks. Have a nice day." Or to simply return it with a smile. It is meant as a good-natured greeting or a nice way to say "so long". Unless you also just stare when people greet or leave you, I would say you're being passive-agressive and extreme. And you do not srike me as a passive-aggressive extremist.

 

[LeeEJ]

Why not just say thank you and go on about your business.

Because the other person won't let it go at just that. They'll say, "Why can't you just say 'Merry Christmas' like everyone else? Jeez!"

I think it's partially a cultural habit, honestly -- someone says "Merry Christmas," and the other person says "Merry Christmas to you, too," right back. Practically like a reflex. It's almost like shaking hands. Responding with something different, or returning a handshake with the opposite hand, almost always takes the giver/instigator by surprise.

Much of the time, I even see it as "ceremonial deism", in that it gets said so often that it begins to lose its meaning. It could easily be something that people say, but not something they really mean, ya know?

I just say it; I don't care. At WORST, I look at the holiday season as a yearly opportunity to get together with family & friends, eat, drink, and be merry, give & receive presents, etc. It's also an excuse to get extended time off from work. :wink:

Along with that, I'm not going to tell somebody with a different religious holiday period that they can't experience the same kinds of activities for themselves. Why shouldn't other groups have the same opportunities to get together with family & friends, eat, drink, and be merry, give & receive presents, etc., and even get some time off work?

 

[DC_DEEP]

I salute you DC_DEEP, Sir!

From this moment forward I shall not respond with Happy Christmas, I shall instead use Happy Holidays.

I haven't read all this thread, so I'm sorry if someone has already said this:

You should go to your management and complain: Your collegues repeated insistence to greet you with "Happy Christmas", referring to a celebration in which to do not participate, is offensive to you. You would like them to adhere to your religious beliefs and greet you instead with "Hello" or "Happy Holidays" to avoid the emotional trauma you feel from the traditional phrasing.

If your management disagree and wish to proceed with any form of disciplinary proceedings, I would personally recommend finding the nearest bauble and inserting it forcibly, rectally.

For all you religious nuts who'll flame me now, I have two things: 1. Shut up 2. I don't object to your religions, I just wish to have no part in any of them.

Thank you, Caelestis. But see, that's part of the problem. (I no longer work for either of those companies). I was less inclined to be so (for lack of a better word) litigious about it, I NEVER would have gone to management to whine about someone saying "merry christmas" to me. But when Karen reported me for demeaning her christian beliefs by telling her "happy hanukkah," management treated me like I had raped her or something. This was not even a "christian" company. But my (female) manager sided with my "distressed" female co-worker, just simply because.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I'm with you until that point. That part is just rude. It's just as easy to say something like, "Thanks. Have a nice day." Or to simply return it with a smile. It is meant as a good-natured greeting or a nice way to say "so long". Unless you also just stare when people greet or leave you, I would say you're being passive-agressive and extreme. And you do not srike me as a passive-aggressive extremist.

LOL Ah, Altered, I can tell you just skimmed the thread. Read a little more carefully, and I think you will see that I am in fact, not a passive-aggressive extremist.

 

[Matthew]

Hmm, perhaps I should find and join one whose traditions include having ritual sex with big-dick men.

"Season's greetings, drop your drawers!" "Oh, come on, get into the Sexmas Spirit!!!"

Now you're talking.

 

[madame_zora]

Why is it that people don't understand that being free to hold your own beliefs does NOT entitle you to shove them on others? If YOUR religious beliefs somehow include ME, then you've got one hell of a problem!

 

[DC_DEEP]

Also, for what it may be worth: yes, my house is decorated for both the holiday and for the season. I do seasonal decoration in the house, my partner does holiday decorating. I give him gifts frequently throughout the year; he will have an enviable pile for me on christmas morning, and I will feel a little bad, but we both know that I spread my gift-giving out over 12 months. He pulls out snowman and santa and reindeer and tree decorations; I pull out some heirloom crocheted snowflakes, some pinecone arrangements, and other "winter" things. In the spring, I will put those away, and put out some more spring-like things, he will pull out the St. Valentine's stuff, some leprechauns, some shamrocks. He does not aggressively insist that I join in, I do not aggressively insist on purging the house of all religious symbols. He is not religious, he adopts the attitude that others on this site have chided me about. But we respect each other. I can't say that about the population in general.