Why the fuck did I do it???

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria, Dec 3, 2008.

  1. D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria

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    I'm really embarrased to tell you this..but more than that,
    I hurt myself more than anything
    A women I was going out with last year dumped me and it still hurts
    and even though I don't want to face it, I know we're no good for each other.
    However..over the last few months, my curiousity gets the best of me and I start looking in on her my space page.
    Then today.. there it is...."In a relationship" it says on her profile.
    Why the hell did I do that?
    Why couldn't I leave well enough alone?
    Now I feel like I'm back to square one and in pain once again.
    Is this normal behavior? Can anyone relate to this.
    And please don't say I'm stalking her because I'm not.
    I was just starting to get over her, and I do this.
    What the fuck is wrong with me??
    FUCK!
     
  2. Principessa

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    You were hurt, and now you're obsessing about her and what could have been. I hate to admit I have done this myself in the past. :redface:


    Now that you know she is in a relationship, instead of feeling hurt maybe you could try feeling like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You are now free to pursue and experience true love with someone else.

    Dude, it's been a year! Move On! This is not healthy.:frown1:
     
    #2 Principessa, Dec 3, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2008
  3. nudeyorker

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    Maybe you should look at it as taking a step forward in your own life and take it as an opportunity to move on an meet the woman you were meant to be with.
     
  4. D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria

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    On one hand, I feel like I want to just want to fuck the shit outta someone just to distract myself from the pain.
    On the other, it hurts too much to even do that
     
    #4 D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria, Dec 3, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2008
  5. Principessa

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    Honey, you have been grieving this relationship for a year. I know your friends and family are sick of you whining about her. I think it may be time to seek professional help. She has moved on, you NEED to move on. This is not healthy.
     
  6. HellsKitchenmanNYC

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    Well in a weird way maaybe doing just that will help you re-realized that there ARE other women in the world. Maybe.......
     
  7. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Yeah, love hurts sometimes. If the pics in your gallery are you, you probably won't have too much trouble finding some play. Heck, you've probably had glorious hours of play all by yourself.

    (Look on the bright side?)

    Is your avatar you? Looks kind of like Meatloaf to me. Meat Loaf
     
  8. B_mylipswet

    B_mylipswet New Member

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    In your mind until you meet me eye to eye if you d
    Come on GO GET HER! This time use a different approach...take her.
     
  9. Jason

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    It is simple curiosity to look at "my space" or similar. In a way it would be weird if you didn't.

    What you have seen has reminded you of your loss so the pain of a year ago has come back. You will get over it.
     
  10. D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria

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    I'm not really too close to my family,because we're spread out everywhere and I don't discuss my personal life with my friends except for two..and I've STILL not talked about it.
    Maybe if I did have someone to talk to besides my therapist, I might have moved past this sooner.
    I was doing alright until I saw her my space page today.
    And as for professional help....I'm not ashamed to admit I've been seeing a therapist
    for the past 4 months and think I've made some progress.
    But I slipped, and put myself in a bad emotional state once again.
    Goddamnit!
     
  11. D_VictorVikkiTielVictoria

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    That's impossible.
    It's over...done
     
  12. Ethyl

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    Everyone's time frame for grieving a relationship varies. Don't beat yourself up for not being over it sooner. Do what you need to do to get through this time. The hurt eventually lessens. The heart mends. The lessons are (hopefully) learned. :smile:
     
  13. Principessa

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    You need more friends, and you need to talk about this with the ones you have. Sounds like maybe you made this woman your whole world. That kind of stress can be daunting at best. :redface:

     
  14. SilverSoldier

    SilverSoldier New Member

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    Could it be that the familiarity of that relationship causes fear of pursuing a better, healthier relationship? Maybe you're afraid of rejection. I don't know, but I don't see ANY reason why you wouldn't be a great partner to a like-minded woman.

    Be good to yourself. Get your self esteem healthy about yourself, and I'll bet you'll be able to let go of fears that you won't find anyone else for you. There are lots of good people out there, and if you open your heart and become the person you are looking for, she'll walk into your life when you least expect it.
     
  15. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Therapy helps.
     
  16. D_Amyntas Lillydong

    D_Amyntas Lillydong Account Disabled

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    I've read the period of time you liked someone it'll take at least half the time to get over it. Yes it sounds like an obsession. I've just recently went through it myself. I actually still e-mail and talk to her on the phone quite often too. It'll pain me knowing when someone else is screwing her too. But you know in the end it'll free you up for someone who will really like you. So I say go out there any do any damn thing you please.
     
  17. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Maybe call D R L A U R A if you want someone to shout at you.
     
  18. BerndVarandisa

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    I think many people can relate to this. To paraphrase Alan Watts: There's always a tendency to jiggle your painful tooth with your tongue.
     
  19. MagicJohnsonFan

    MagicJohnsonFan New Member

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    I can completely understand what compelled you to do it. A very long time ago I was in a relationship that tortured me for about 2 years. It was the closest thing to an addiction that I can imagine and extremely difficult to get over. Like Kink suggested, counseling helps, but my therapist suggested a book - I believe the title was "Letting Go" - was the most helpful thing at that point. The good news is that eventually you will get over her.

    Stay busy, try to do a lot of things that you enjoy, and do your best to stop looking back. Best of luck.
     
  20. Rikter8

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    There's nothing to be ashamed of by talking with a therapist.
     
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