Why The Homophobic Hatred? Genuine Question

shard38

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I live in a fairly liberal country and usually don’t have much problems being in a relationship with another man at the moment. For him however it’s new and he has been the subject of quite some name calling and bullying the past half year since he started living with me. But what surprises me most is all the hatred and rejection that goes on online. I started to become a little active on a discussion board about American politics and though I know I shouldn’t take all of these online comments online serious, I’m often quite saddened by these vitriolic reactions towards anything LBGTI+. For instance: in any article about Pete Buttigieg you can count on someone bringing up he’s an unnatural abomination. Claiming Michelle Obama is a transsexual (so what if she really was??) is another thing that keeps being repeated.

So my honest question is: “How does it affect your life if someone you don’t know loves someone else you don’t know?” I know most people over here are quite openminded but maybe someone has some insight into this.
 

LaFemme

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Homophobia affects me a great deal. My girl is queer, and I will not tolerate any comment, hate speech, religious dogma, “humour”, political ideology that stomps on her rights as a human being or ability to live her life freely. I didn’t tolerate it before she was born, but it has become an even more personal issue to me now. Any pain she suffers is mine. Before it was more about my friends, about doing what was right. Now, she’s my heart.
 
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Minorities (sexual, religious and racial) always bear the brunt of hatred, bigotry and intolerance. They are out-groups that humans like to blame for all sorts of societal "problems" they see or rather imagine. And sadly history repeats itself over and over and over again. The "gains" minorities may attain can never be assumed to be permanent. And if you can imagine a religious text tells you to think that way then indeed the hate and intolerance will never end.
 

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So my honest question is: “How does it affect your life if someone you don’t know loves someone else you don’t know?”

It doesn't affect one's life one way or the other, who another loves or who another sleeps with. We all know that.

In my opinion, these people just want to impose their values on others. Why? I don't know.

You see the same thing with people who used to smoke, preaching to quit smoking, or people who used to drink, preaching temperance. Maybe it makes them "feel important" or "above" other people. I really don't get it. :confused:

I don't care what others do, if it doesn't affect me. Live and let live. :)
 

MusicBear88

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Minorities (sexual, religious and racial) always bear the brunt of hatred, bigotry and intolerance.

Unfortunately true. I think in a lot of cases the truest answer to "why?" is very simple. IGNORANCE. Often without malice, people have no idea what another religion or sexuality actually entails and so they're afraid of the unfamiliar.

Case in point: Some years ago I came out at the church where I worked. It was a liberal, "open and affirming" congregation in Massachusetts and I wasn't concerned about job safety or anything like that, but there were some more conservative people there and I was a little bit afraid of some offhand rude comments. Fortunately, what happened instead was as follows:

Older lady in her late 70s or early 80s approaches me as I'm cleaning up the choir loft after a service on Sunday. "I have a question for you," she says. I'm already feeling a little guarded, and I'm hoping that it's about a piece that I played on the organ. "What does 'being gay' actually mean?" She was being as earnest as anything; she really didn't know. So I told her "well, most men my age would be looking for a girlfriend and eventually a wife, right? I'm looking for a boyfriend and eventually a husband." She processes that for a moment and asks "Is that it?" "Yes, that's it."

"Well, why do people make such a big deal over THAT?! That's PRIVATE!"

I took her by the hand and smiled, telling her "We need more people like you in our corner; thank you."
 

marriedasian

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it is in our nature (as humans) to destroy what we don't understand because what we don't understand eventually turns into fear and the natural instinct is to kill it off to rid the fear within ourselves.

i would like to think that we (humans) could evolve past this but unfortunately it won't. there's too many ignorant people out there. homosexuality is not the only one that suffers... we have issues with race, gender, religion, politics, etc... the list goes on and on...
 

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It has no effect on me at all.

Social media Is the last place to go to share your life and seek support. Trolls are always going blast you. One consolation is knowing that few of them would ever say such things to your face. Another is that some trolls are just trying to get your goat by spouting rubbish they don't even believe just to be contrary. When it's easy to hide behind anonymity social decorum vanishes.

Long before social media was invented an oft quoted axiom was never discuss religion, politics or sex. I would add economics to that list but that's beside the point. Even in real life person-to-person and face-to-face people with opposing opinions get into it. Note the controversies within the LGBTQ+ community itself or within any religious sect or political party in any nation. Even within families people argue, fight, blame and take sides.

My question for you is this: are you able to feel good, whole and complete in yourself without support and confirmation from outside yourself?
 

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Thanks for all your answers. You wpuld have thought in this days and age people would have move beyond the fear of minorities, but then again some lessons are maybe never learned.

It’s not so much that I’m personally affected. I have the fortune of being in a country, a line of work, a family where it almost never comes up as a problem. But when I see the blunt and aggessuve reactions online it sometimes saddens me. “You are talking about people like me. What did we do to you to deserve such hate?” And it’s easy to brush off because most of the time they are indeed trolls and keynoard warriors, but I still don’t get it.
 

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People Will always bigoted and wrong views for now valid reason given the time that they live in. Why do you think racism is still prevalent, or more importantly ‘white supremacy’ when slavery was abolished so long ago. Uneducated people will always have uneducated views and sadly that is ingrained with their up bringing and another generation is lost.

It makes me happy that people who hate on others for something they absolutely have no control over, waste their energy on hate which is literally falling on deaf ears. You carry on hating, the world will continue to ignore you.
 

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As long as there are humans and opinions. There'll be people who feel compelled to voice their opinion and what they percieve to be the truth in their view.

Personally I don't care what anyone says about me. Their belief or view doesn't effect me in the least. And certainly not some schmucks opinion on line.
 
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I live in a fairly liberal country and usually don’t have much problems being in a relationship with another man at the moment. For him however it’s new and he has been the subject of quite some name calling and bullying the past half year since he started living with me. But what surprises me most is all the hatred and rejection that goes on online. I started to become a little active on a discussion board about American politics and though I know I shouldn’t take all of these online comments online serious, I’m often quite saddened by these vitriolic reactions towards anything LBGTI+. For instance: in any article about Pete Buttigieg you can count on someone bringing up he’s an unnatural abomination. Claiming Michelle Obama is a transsexual (so what if she really was??) is another thing that keeps being repeated.

So my honest question is: “How does it affect your life if someone you don’t know loves someone else you don’t know?” I know most people over here are quite openminded but maybe someone has some insight into this.
I would have to say you are 100% correct.

You will always have a certain segment of the population who cannot live without butting into the affairs of other people, or imposing their beliefs on others.
 
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palakaorion

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And we seem to have lost sight of the notion that disagreements about a topic don't necessarily equate to hatred of the other person. Granted, when it comes to non-hetero behavior, the emotions run high.

But (for example) just because I'm a late 50s straight white hetero cis man, doesn't mean I hate my 20yo nonbinary niece, just because I disagree with some of her life decisions that have zero to do with her gender expression or sexuality.
 

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It is very hard for some people to keep things separate. I know somebody who is non-binary, polyamorous, and also a total flake. I only have a problem with the last one, but trying to tell them I have to be VERY sure that I remind them that I have nothing against the others... it's exhausting!
 

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I just don't understand why people give a shit what other people do with their lives if it doesn't harm or affect them in any way.

Like "oooh those damn tomato farmers make me so angry! I hate tomatoes and don't have to buy them or eat them but I'm so mad!"
 

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I live in a fairly liberal country and usually don’t have much problems being in a relationship with another man at the moment. For him however it’s new and he has been the subject of quite some name calling and bullying the past half year since he started living with me. But what surprises me most is all the hatred and rejection that goes on online. I started to become a little active on a discussion board about American politics and though I know I shouldn’t take all of these online comments online serious, I’m often quite saddened by these vitriolic reactions towards anything LBGTI+. For instance: in any article about Pete Buttigieg you can count on someone bringing up he’s an unnatural abomination. Claiming Michelle Obama is a transsexual (so what if she really was??) is another thing that keeps being repeated.

So my honest question is: “How does it affect your life if someone you don’t know loves someone else you don’t know?” I know most people over here are quite openminded but maybe someone has some insight into this.

I take solace in knowing that it if wasn’t for Jews, blacks, and gay then we wouldn’t have any quality entertainment. Honestly we are the holy trinity.
 

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I live in Hungary which is not a tolerate-type country for gays. Im bi and I need to hide my sexual orientation because Ive experienced many form of bullies and hatred. For example I would lose my job if I tell my collegues Im bisexual.
What I would like to add to the topic is: Not everything is black and white. Those who try to tell us how to live and how to egsist in an (they think of) appropriate way think it is.
Why do they like this? Maybe they are fear of that they little inside world of peace and aprpriate manners will collapse if they figure out that its not suitable for everyone.
Anonymity makes the internet trolls more violent and more agressive. It is sad - only thing to do is ignore them. I know its hard but try.

I wish I could live in the Netherlands - I would be much opened about myself and my sexuality. Im so tired of hiding and put on my everyday masks...

PS: Sorry about my bad english - tough Im trying! :)
 

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I live in a fairly liberal country and usually don’t have much problems being in a relationship with another man at the moment. For him however it’s new and he has been the subject of quite some name calling and bullying the past half year since he started living with me. But what surprises me most is all the hatred and rejection that goes on online. I started to become a little active on a discussion board about American politics and though I know I shouldn’t take all of these online comments online serious, I’m often quite saddened by these vitriolic reactions towards anything LBGTI+. For instance: in any article about Pete Buttigieg you can count on someone bringing up he’s an unnatural abomination. Claiming Michelle Obama is a transsexual (so what if she really was??) is another thing that keeps being repeated.

So my honest question is: “How does it affect your life if someone you don’t know loves someone else you don’t know?” I know most people over here are quite openminded but maybe someone has some insight into this.

I suggest you avoid discussing politics, especially online. It's pointless.
 
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HorseHung40's

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People don't hate innately; they learn to hate. Their teachers are ignorant, hateful family members, clergy, schools, towns, media and countries. Prevailing attitudes still persist, although they should not. Things are changing, although they should be changing more quickly.
 

shard38

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I suggest you avoid discussing politics, especially online. It's pointless.

I don’t even join in the discussions. I read the comments below the news articles sometimes to get some more perspective. Bit most of the time it’s insane bickering. And where most forum contributors are quick to point out racism or violence, the homophobia largeky goes unnoticed.
 
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