Why the snarky/sarcastic replies?

[AlteredEgo]

ArkNebradia, I'm going to avoid quoting if I can only becaus I'm in bed, posting from a mobile phone, and it is very difficult to delete the parts that are superfluous to my intention. If I respond to something, and you need me to quote it in order to understand me, let me know and I will do my best.

I feel I have explained very explicitly why I perceive bigotry in your posts in this thread, but I will try to be clearer. I believe your dissociation from my accusaton is natural, and understandable. Most people believe themselves to be good people, and believe bigots to be bad people. I believe most people have prejudices and that those come in varying degrees. You have demonstrated bias against women by blindly tarnishing all women as a group with what you perceive to be bad behavior from a few, and by assuming that what bad behavior you've observed is unjust and needs your correction. You compound this attitude by continuously posting in a manner which is both condescending and paternalistic to women who are not your daughters, nor your employees, nor under any other form of your authority. I'm not saying you hate all womankind. I'm just saying you've been a bigot whose form of bigotry is misogyny. I appreciate that you are learning from this experience, and changing your language, and will try to be more considerate in the future. From one individual to another, that is all which can be asked. I still find it dubious that sweeping overgeneralising wasn't your intent because of the words you consistently chose, and the points you decided to make, but at this point, it's almost semantics, and not worth arguing about. I know your assertion, you know mine, and we'll have to agree to disagree. Before I let it go on my end though, I want to point out that not once did I use the location of your post to make any points, merely the specific words you chose, and the glaring fact that you haven't asked the same question of the men who engage in questionable behavior on the site.

Oh. And I'll PM you later with some easy-to-find references from men here calling out what they perceive as misandry. That you claim to have never seen this is surprising to me.

I'm a grown woman. You aren't my parent. I resent that you're sitting here telling me (as part of a group) what to do. It doesn't matter how nicely you try to put it. You feel there is only one way to post. "Helpfully". Others disagree. Your presentation of your opinion is condescending and paternalistic. Is that helpful? Aren't you just asking others to do something you're unwilling to do? (i.e., Be helpful and ignore posts you don't like.) Kinda like when my unmarried parents suggested I save my virginity for marriage, and my morbidly obese relatives complained about how much I ate during growth spurts.

Alright. You think people should only say topical, helpful things, and that those who live outside your view are bitches. Some people agree with you. Some people don't. I don't. I think people are people, and that if you have a problem with some individuals, they should be addressed personally, and that making a thread about it is just trolling. But do you.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Not my finest hour, I'll admit that...

Yeah, happens to the best of us, right? Nobody is perfect. I shouldn't have called you a hipocrite. It's not like that's your M.O. I'm sorry.

 

[LaFemme]

I dont believe that all the people in that list are bitches. Many of the people in that list appear to be quite nice, down to earth women, and its a pleasure to talk to them. As far as calling anyone a bitch, if I did, it wasnt right and I'm sorry. But I still feel I should have the right to stand up to bullies.

And you have the right to continue to post however you want... nice, bullying, or otherwise. It was only a suggestion. But dont be surprised when a couple people stand up to it.

If I had a kid, and he was bullying someone, and then one day, he got his ass beat by someone who was tired of him bullying them, he'd get no sympathy from me.

I see. Not just a bitch, but a bully. And one who might one day get my ass beat, so to speak.

Well, you just go girl.

 

[deleted464787]

I'm a grown woman. You aren't my parent. I resent that you're sitting here telling me (as part of a group) what to do. It doesn't matter how nicely you try to put it. You feel there is only one way to post. "Helpfully". Others disagree. Your presentation of your opinion is condescending and paternalistic.

Ill be the first to state that although you and I clearly do not share sentiments on this subject, the original post in this thread was definitely not directed at you or people like you. I can tell just by the way youve responded in every post in this thread that youre a civil person, and although you dont agree with me, youre decent about it. If you go back through this thread, you can see a clear difference between the way you respond, and the way those particular women have responded.

Again, if you feel I have made a sweeping generalization, I am truely, sincerely sorry, and I hope that this time you can believe it.

And if we're going to agree to disagree, then so be it. You seeing my presentation as paternalistic and condescending is no different from me seeing someone elses presentation as bitchy and angry, right?

The difference is, Im not condescending to no posters who simply ask benign questions, which is what bothers me the most. If people pick a fight, you should be entitled to fight. But if people arent being malicious, what good does it to to be malicious to them? Thats what bothers me the most.

Either way, if you think Im being condescending and paternalistic to all women, then at least Ill try to change that. What I wont do is take on that mentality of "well, you dont like how I post? Then you can go fuck off."

 

[SprinkleMe69]

Hey you ^^^^
This is the AAW forum. Only women can respond.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

I can't be bothered to go back a page and another page...blah blah

This shit is still going?

Is one person still telling others how they should post?

Most likely.

Right....

 

[Patchos]

Speaking of misogyny, I got a good chuckle out of some of the posts from women in this thread. I didn't like Gillette's original post because she's posted it that way before, refering to members here as cunts, mostly because they don't agree with her standards of behavior. However, I found it hilarious that Patchos calls her out on what she perceives as "internalized misogyny" without addressing obvious misogyny in posts addressed to Gillette refering to the functions of her female organs. Misdirection or selective reading?

Neither actually. Of course period jokes are sexist. Lots of women make sexist jokes about each other, even I've been guilty of that in the past. You probably have too.

The reason I used to make those jokes is because I didn't know how and why they were sexist. I didn't know a lot of things about sexism for many years, even as an adult. It took years to learn how many of the behaviours I'd considered acceptable were actually terrible and only helped to enforce a culture of hatred towards women.

So it's entirely possible that Reddhott and Lofty don't have that same awareness yet and I have given them the benefit of the doubt because I haven't seen them
constantly slur other women. On the contrary, I've noticed them both comment and defend themselves and others against sexist remarks.

Gillette, on the other hand, has been criticizing the other women of the forum for a fair time now, while using the most hateful gendered language, all the while ignoring the fact that men post the same snarky sarcastic shit that she's accusing the women of doing. That's a perfect example of internalised misogyny.

No one is perfect. We've all been conditioned the same way, to accept sexist behaviour because that is the norm in a patriarchal society. But there's a world of difference between what Reddhott and Lofty versus what Gillette has posted. Lofty has even acknowledged her comment was problematic. I don't know Reddhott very well but from what I've seen she's capable of reflecting on her comments if something gets pointed out.

Let me be clear, ladies, any automatic assumption that a woman speaking in a way of which you disapprove is suffering because of hormones or the unpleasant practicalities associated with her menstrual cycle is directly accusing her of misbehaving specifically because she is a woman. If a man said it, you'd cry foul, because it is misogyny. Plain and simple, you hipocrites. Lofty, I was really surprised by you. Reddhott, not so much, and now there is actually a woman on my ignore list.

I'll continue this discussion in the RLG.

 

[Reddhott]

Was it the tampon comment? Cuz I almost asked who pissed in her cornflakes. But decided that since Gillette had made a gender based insult, it opened the door. I was just feeding back to her the same crap she spewed into the topic. I was making a subtle point. Maybe too subtle...

 

[Reddhott]

Let me be clear, ladies, any automatic assumption that a woman speaking in a way of which you disapprove is suffering because of hormones or the unpleasant practicalities associated with her menstrual cycle is directly accusing her of misbehaving specifically because she is a woman. If a man said it, you'd cry foul, because it is misogyny. Plain and simple, you hipocrites. Lofty, I was really surprised by you. Reddhott, not so much, and now there is actually a woman on my ignore list.

Excuse me? If you knew me at all, which you don't, you would know I was not doing that. However you chose to interpret my words.

 

[Gillette]

Gillette, I've made my point and made it clearly. Your continued use of gendered slurs only proves that you have a misogynistic view of women. If you continue to engage me, you're throwing away your claim of being harassed, so just put me on ignore.

And there it is again.

So you'd have been okay if I'd called it the Persnickety Pricks Panel? Demonic Dicks Den?
Both seem a bit daft when addressing flame outs by women in WI & AAW.

Yup, they were gender specific slurs aimed at women having a gender specific war. Thing is though, to consider my slur to be aimed at you, you'd be self identifying as one I describe as behaving consistently like an idiot.

I'm not throwing anything away by replying. It's not you're arguing with me I consider harassment. It's your determination to falsely label me as something I'm not.

 

[Patchos]

If you don't want to be associated with misogynistic behaviour you should re-think your use of slurs.

If you think I'm behaving consistently like an idiot and you still engage me then that makes you the same.

 

[Reddhott]

Yup, they were gender specific slurs aimed at women having a gender specific war. Thing is though, to consider my slur to be aimed at you, you'd be self identifying as one I describe as behaving consistently like an idiot.

WE weren't having a gender specific war until you joined the party. WE were having a discussion with the gentleman who started the conversation. YOU threw the first cunt bomb.

 

[Gillette]

Hey you ^^^^
This is the AAW forum. Only women can respond.

And the OP.

WE weren't having a gender specific war until you joined the party. WE were having a discussion with the gentleman who started the conversation. YOU threw the first cunt bomb.

I wasn't referring to this thread, but the open season on thread starters. Please stay on point.

 

[Gillette]

If you don't want to be associated with misogynistic behaviour you should re-think your use of slurs.

If you think I'm behaving consistently like an idiot and you still engage me then that makes you the same.

If I had only ever used slurs against women you'd have something. That isn't the case so you don't.

My reference to idiotic behavior is the flaming of thread starters. Surely you're not dense enough to have misunderstood that.

 

[FallenMadonna]

We know where we are. And the same questions are asked again and again. And our answers are ignored and disparaged.

Penis size. We tell you that for most of us, it doesn't matter that much. There are a few size queens here who will tell you that they aren't wasting their time with less than eight. But for most women, universally, it just isn't a deciding factor. But we are constantly being told that we are lying. That women lie about penis size preference. The fact that we are on a forum like this is used as "evidence" that we are lying.

Or some dude comes here saying he wants us to help him coerce his girlfriend into anal sex that she has already told him scares her. Instead of listening to the reasonable suggestion that perhaps he listen to her expressed desires that she doesn't wasn't to do it. He starts haranguing us and calling us names.

The defensiveness in this forum comes from guys who blow past the established rules and act like entitled assholes. But if you look, real questions are answered with respect and helpful comments. The ladies here, as a group, tend to have their bullshit meters highly tuned.

This is it in a nutshell. I've been on this website for awhile and I've never been (intentionally) sarcastic. However, when the SAME questions get asked OVER and OVER again, well, that just invites sarcasm. Look guys, some of you are going to be bigger (and smaller) than others. GET OVER IT! Work on the things that you can change and don't worry about what nature did or didn't give you.

 

[Daisy]

Here is what I got out of this thread.

Some of us can be kinda bitchy sometimes.

OP wants to know why

Chaos ensued

I am apparently a member of the "Cunt Collective" but I'm telling you right now I refuse to pay membership fees. I spent way too much at Christmas.

I think that it's quite possible that we are now beating a dead horse. Believe it or not I agree with some of what Gillette said. There is always the back button. But then again sometimes the guys here just beg to get the snark/sarcasm by their particular questions or they way they chose to word things. I really don't set out to be mean and I don't think any of us should. I think some newbies do pay the price for all the dumb questions asked before them and we could probably work on being a little more restrained with our snark. Sometimes though....I mean...some stuff that gets asked....well..you know the rest.