Why was Mlle Rouge banned?

[ManlyBanisters]

mecurialbliss (now Ethyl)

Correction - sorry mb/E

 

[B_subgirrl]

I think you made a very good point here. I felt this hostility from a few long time members when I first joined. Ok, so we all know there are a million lockerroom threads. Perhaps you could tell the noobs in a slightly less condescending tone how to find them?

I don't agree with you at all. I got jumped on in one of my first posts by MB and called a gender fake. Yeah, it made me feel like crap at the time. But it didn't take long before I realised exactly why she did it.

The women with (metaphorical) balls are some of my favourite women on this site. It's fantastic having women around who will say what us more polite women would like to say but won't.

MR was another of my favourite women on the site. Brilliant, often well thought out posts, and she made Women's Issues a nicer place to be. I may not have been here for long, but I'll miss her all the same. MB, could you please let her know that she has my support?

And could someone please PM me the name of Voldemorts fucking site (surely that's allowed)?!? The curiosity is driving me nuts!


Edit:
Found Voldemort's site on google. To those who haven't been there - you really, really don't want to. It's just as bad as everyone's said it is.

 

[thetramp]

There have been female mods, some long serving, some who stepped down fairly soon after accepting the responsibility. naughty, Gillette, Aconitum (before she was an admin), mecurialbliss (now Edith), TattooedMamaMeg - these are the names that spring to mind. I have a feeling I'm forgetting someone, am I? There are no female mods because they all chose to stop being mods for various reasons, some unrelated to the site. I did hear that one was ousted but that may be a false rumour.

As to how one becomes a mod, every now and then (usually when mod numbers dwindle) Rob_E (the sight owner) puts out a call for new mods - people can apply and the existing team picks the new members.

I can't answer your last question.

I thank you for your effort and endeavor to answer my questions.

I am still rather new to this place, yet i have a few observations that might be related to this topic and to the question why there are no female mods right now and why active female poster seem more likely to be banned.

From my perception,
there are a lot more male members than female members here.
the percentage of members who are very active is much higher for females

Meaning the ratio of very active male members to female members to very active male members is different than the ratio of male members to female members in general. Now this is only from my perception and therefor very subjective as it could be that i am active in certain parts of this board where i get a altered vision of this ratio and it also very well could be that to me women are just more noticeable on here.

But assuming it is true, i think the fact that there are no female mods makes me think, because shouldn't those who apply for mod duty and get chosen be those who are very active and have proven to care about this site, and how if not by posting actively and thoughtful. So the group of mods should in some way much rather be a representation of the active members and their female to male ratio than members in general.
This currently is not the case. Leading me to the question, why isn't it?
From what, MB thankfully has told me i assume that the selection of mods is not part of this problem, as the process is open to women as well as men, and i have no reason to believe that the people who chose are biased.
So why do women, even if they are very active on here and obviously care about this site do not apply as often for the mod duty or, if they did quit it sooner? Which to me is the logical conclusion of the just mentioned.

Is it tougher to be a female mod on here than it is for males?
Is it maybe in general harder to be an active female contributor on here than it is to be an active male poster on lpsg?
But wouldn't that contradict with my observation of the different ratios.
Tho it could be a explanation why active females seem to get banned more often. Are they maybe victims of circumstances?
Even in the short time i am here there often have been discussions about all the questions that unjustifiably got asked in the womens issues board.
Judging from stories and the PMsing thread women are also more likely to be harassed via personal messages or in the chat. Assuming that the more they are active the more they are likely to get noticed, contacted and harassed, and might that be a reason why they are more likely to cross a line than very active male posters, which leads to them being banned more often?

 

[thetramp]

I don't agree with you at all. I got jumped on in one of my first posts by MB and called a gender fake. Yeah, it made me feel like crap at the time. But it didn't take long before I realised exactly why she did it.

The women with (metaphorical) balls are some of my favourite women on this site. It's fantastic having women around who will say what us more polite women would like to say but won't.

MR was another of my favourite women on the site. Brilliant, often well thought out posts, and she made Women's Issues a nicer place to be. I may not have been here for long, but I'll miss her all the same. MB, could you please let her know that she has my support?

And could someone please PM me the name of Voldemorts fucking site (surely that's allowed)?!? The curiosity is driving me nuts!

I am i appreciate those womens posts very much and have not felt any hostility even as a new member on here.

Oh and i too am very curious :wink:

 

[Daisy]

SpoiledPrincess has been, in my opinion the nicest female on this site and have never, I repeat never seen or heard her be nasty to anyone. I'm not sure about where the bashing is coming from because she has been quite the opposite of what has been mentioned here.
There are of course tons of great women here, and I have nothing against any one of them but to say SP is nasty...I don't see it.

 

[798686]

I think you made a very good point here. I felt this hostility from a few long time members when I first joined. Ok, so we all know there are a million lockerroom threads. Perhaps you could tell the noobs in a slightly less condescending tone how to find them?

I agree. :redface: Can't assume everyone has been here as long as they have, or got bored of similar threads.

Has no one else noticed that Luka has now thrown his rattle out of the pram and removed his avatar, his pic(s?) and left a 'so long and thanks for all the fish' message in his verification pic removal thread?

Who's trying to make this all about Luka?

(Don't worry, Lukie-poo, someone will beg you come back soon - just give it a nice dignified 24 hours before your 'i'm back, didya miss me?' thread. :wink

That's a bit tight. He's been getting a lot of grief lately from right across the site - which affects some people more than others, and has no doubt considerably reduced his enjoyment of being on here. You could cut ppl a little slack once in a while, MB.

 

[Lex]

Tramp - There have been several female moderators here over the years. I served with and recommended as successor, many of them (naughty, Mercurialbliss, Gilette, Kotch/Acontium, and more). I has not appeared to me that it is terribly difficult to be a female mod on here.

You are right in that there have always been more male members than female and, over the years, females have mentioned constant bother and harassment from men (in chat, PM, etc.). I have seen more than my share of this as a (former) frequent chatter on here.

That said, I think that it may be more difficult to be a female on a site about dick, especially with men thinking women obsess over cock the way they do.

I don't think that the current lack of many females on the Mod staff is an issue. I do think it would be helpful if Mods would step into threads and make some warnings in public (along with pushing the ignore button) so that the overall membership can get a flavor of how the site is actually, you know, moderated.

I have been a mod--It's a shitty, thankless job that I would never want again. I know how frequent the pussy-ass reports are (to the point where you can barely do anything other than read and debate them). We had to, at one point, give out warnings to a member who was using the Report Button as his way of talking to us.

I don't have any answers to the ongoing problem - how do you reconcile a sight where some level of moderation is needed with everyone's vastly differing ideas about (a) what moderation IS and (b) to what extent it is needed and should be implemented.

Has no one else noticed that Luka has now thrown his rattle out of the pram and removed his avatar, his pic(s?) and left a 'so long and thanks for all the fish' message in his verification pic removal thread?

Who's trying to make this all about Luka?

(Don't worry, Lukie-poo, someone will beg you come back soon - just give it a nice dignified 24 hours before your 'i'm back, didya miss me?' thread. :wink

Maybe he will resurrect himself as a highly educated person with advanced degrees and more?

Jean Grey might approve.

 

[Bbucko]

I typed a long reply to MB, Dolfette and Hilly only to have it oddly disappear.

The bottom lines:

I received a pretty much identical off-board communication from MR as the one MB quoted from. I can verify its authenticity. I also learned (to correct an earlier misunderstanding) that when she posted "Don't engage Luka", he was, in fact on her Ignore list. So in this case at least, that failed to prevent her being banned.

Hilly and ML would have gotten along famously; her lack of presence here represents a fundamental loss to the membership.

The only recent high-count male member to have been banned (and it was a temp) was Flashy. Though I rarely agreed with him (and found his posting style really annoying), his POV and contributions here were informed, literate, engaged and on-point. He always had my respect, and his presence here is missed terribly.

FWIW, I believe that the current all-male mod team is a temporary aberration due to attrition rather than any conscious thinking or action on anyone's part, and am disinclined to view MR's banning through that perspective, frankly.

 

[Lex]

I hate it when the Interweb eats my shit. Basterd.

 

[798686]

The only recent high-count male member to have been banned (and it was a temp) was Flashy. Though I rarely agreed with him (and found his posting style really annoying), his POV and contributions here were informed, literate, engaged and on-point. He always had my respect, and his presence here is missed terribly.

I miss him, too. Haven't seen any sign of him since his ban ended. :redface:

 

[thetramp]

Tramp - There have been several female moderators here over the years. I served with and recommended as successor, many of them (naughty, Mercurialbliss, Gilette, Kotch/Acontium, and more). I has not appeared to me that it is terribly difficult to be a female mod on here.

You are right in that there have always been more male members than female and, over the years, females have mentioned constant bother and harassment from men (in chat, PM, etc.). I have seen more than my share of this as a (former) frequent chatter on here.

That said, I think that it may be more difficult to be a female on a site about dick, especially with men thinking women obsess over cock the way they do.

I don't think that the current lack of many females on the Mod staff is an issue. I do think it would be helpful if Mods would step into threads and make some warnings in public (along with pushing the ignore button) so that the overall membership can get a flavor of how the site is actually, you know, moderated.

I have been a mod--It's a shitty, thankless job that I would never want again. I know how frequent the pussy-ass reports are (to the point where you can barely do anything other than read and debate them). We had to, at one point, give out warnings to a member who was using the Report Button as his way of talking to us.

I don't have any answers to the ongoing problem - how do you reconcile a sight where some level of moderation is needed with everyone's vastly differing ideas about (a) what moderation IS and (b) to what extent it is needed and should be implemented.

I don't see the lack of female mods as an issue, but i do see the mods as an reflection of the site in general. It to be can be a sign that it is harder to be an active female on here. If that is case the question what can be done to make it easier and keep those i think we mostly agree vary valuable and interesting posters like MR and ML on here within the limits of the ToS.
Could there be some help to prevent those very active female members to be harassed and from harassing others which eventually will lead to banning.

Making the moderation process more public in my opinion is a good idea.

 

[dolfette]

in pm convo i do sometimes hear it said that certain male members are trying to goad into going too far and getting banned...

 

[Lex]

in pm convo i do sometimes hear it said that certain male members are trying to goad into going too far and getting banned...

Some people never really get past middle school, do they?

Sad.

 

[B_Hickboy]

Five days of notgiveafuckittude!

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

I typed a long reply to MB, Dolfette and Hilly only to have it oddly disappear.

The bottom lines:

I received a pretty much identical off-board communication from MR as the one MB quoted from. I can verify its authenticity. I also learned (to correct an earlier misunderstanding) that when she posted "Don't engage Luka", he was, in fact on her Ignore list. So in this case at least, that failed to prevent her being banned.

Hilly and ML would have gotten along famously; her lack of presence here represents a fundamental loss to the membership.

The only recent high-count male member to have been banned (and it was a temp) was Flashy. Though I rarely agreed with him (and found his posting style really annoying), his POV and contributions here were informed, literate, engaged and on-point. He always had my respect, and his presence here is missed terribly.

FWIW, I believe that the current all-male mod team is a temporary aberration due to attrition rather than any conscious thinking or action on anyone's part, and am disinclined to view MR's banning through that perspective, frankly.

See I don't understand that though. If Luka was on MR's ignore list why did she feel the compulsion to tell Tomcat to not engage with him lest he face a banning?

I mean if she was genuinely concerned about Tomcat why not send a private message, and considering the context she can't really have thought there was any possibility that Tomcat would be banned anyway. The only reason I can see MR might have decided to post what she did is that she saw Luka quoted in Tomcat's post, and couldn't control herself and decided to take a sly potshot at Luka by implying he was a Mod's pet, disagreement with whom could get you banned at the drop of a hat.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I think MR is a bad person, not by any manner or means, as I pointed out before her banning is a big loss around here and I found her a very interesting poster and think she's great. But like many of us around here, she has a somewhat short fuse and doesn't suffer people she thinks are fools or malicious in some way.

I think she lost control of her compulsion to confront people one time too many. I think whether or not you see her feud with Luka as harassment is a matter of perspective. It appears there was undoubtedly a two way element to this situation, but MR was just less able to control her role in it and stepped over a line which caused her ban. Others get away with their roles in similar conflicts by not stepping over that line.

You can see MR as either someone who has trouble controlling her emotions or you can see her as someone who is honest and unwilling to allow certain behaviours she objects to to go unchallenged.

I think many of us have been in similar situations, where our emotions have governed our decision making processes, and we may have posted in anger or some other negative emotion, we all have to try to walk a line between being true to ourselves and controlling our responses to others so that our reactions to others are proportionate and justifiable. When we behave disproportionately or in ways which are hard to justify then the mods are right to reprimand us.

Again though I really do think its a shame MR isn't around anymore, and I'm really disappointed that ML got taken out as collateral damage, especially since I can sympathise with why she did what she did.

 

[B_Hickboy]

Come on, she could totally dom him!



In honor of MR, I'll add that I have to ask myself "is this thread about wank fodder or is the post legitimate?" It wasn't like that before.



The other site is like the porn fetish you wish you didn't know existed. It's not even sublime. It's revolting. The difference being that the former is difficult to tear your eyes away from, and the second induces vomiting.



Say "fuck" again.

Fuck.

 

[thetramp]

You can see MR as either someone who has trouble controlling her emotions or you can see her as someone who is honest and unwilling to allow certain behaviours she objects to to go unchallenged.

i do not agree, i see her as both, while i respect her for her unwillingness to stand in for her thoughts against what she objects to, i do believe that she unfortunately had trouble controlling her emotions to do that within the limits of the ToS. Nevertheless i do miss her contributions.

@dolfette, i am sorry but i am not sure i understand your post correctly.
Do you say you hear in pm conversation that some male members try to goad females into going to far in order to get them banned?

 

[B_New End]

It's probably not a perma ban. Give it a few moths.
And... it's probably for the best for Rouge. This place will jade the fuck out of you. It's good to take a few months off every now and then, because more than the newb idiots here can be exasperating.

I remember I jumped all over Rouge and Dolfette for jumping all ver a newb that posted a dick sucking questionnaire. They called it wank fodder, I disagreed. I mean this site is pretty much wank fodder anyways.

And for new members, a dick sucking questionnaire can be entertaining. For longtimes, it is annoying after the 20th one. For other longtimes, seeing old jaded members hopping all over the newbs for posting cocksucking questionnaires is exasperating.

That's when I left for a couple months.. (that and politics)

However... I think permabans should be reserved for multiple accounts, paedophilia, serious harrasment and threats of bodily injury, and overt racism only. Things like ticky-tacky personal spats should be 3 months at the most.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

i do not agree, i see her as both, while i respect her for her unwillingness to stand in for her thoughts against what she objects to, i do believe that she unfortunately had trouble controlling her emotions to do that within the limits of the ToS. Nevertheless i do miss her contributions.

You're quite right, I should have said that it was perfectly possible to be both things at once. :wink:

 

[dolfette]

i'll get banned eventually...