I know I am atypical but I have not interest in relationships. They get banal and messy but that does not mean I want a bunch of one-night stands. I enjoy having sex partners guys who I can continually call on for fun.
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Excellent post! You do realize though, that if a guy posted the same material, or told a woman that he merely wanted to add her to his string of pearls that he called on for fun, what kind of response he would probably get? :wink:
I think that the basic underlying problem is that human beings are not meant (i.e. not wired, instinctively) to mate for life. I know that it happens, and every elderly couple who just celebrated their 70th anniversary is invariably sweet and cute; but it seems to be a rarity, and perhaps even a triumph of willpower over inclination where it occurs. The number of couples who remained together used to be much higher, but I don't think that's because they were happier, merely because splitting up was much less acceptable than it is now.
The fact is, time has a way of slow-roasting romance. Which to me implies that even someone who prefers "relationships" to "just sex" needs to pursue them with the understanding that it's not "till death do us part," but only "for as long as we're together." The question, of course, is how long is that going to be?
Even as a guy, I'd have to say that one night stands aren't terribly attractive. For one thing, it's hard to have truly good sex with somebody until you've had it with them a few times. Unless you are both extraordinary communicators and highly intuitive to boot, it's going to take some repetition to learn each other's likes and dislikes, and to get comfortable together.
On the other hand, I've been in relationships where, after a few years, it begins to feel like dating your sister. You know her really well, but the spark is gone. At that point it's time to part friends. The height of good manners is knowing when to leave.
I wish I could say I've been able to live as you describe, with some number (greater than 1!) of attractive, interesting women on the string, for sex and companionship -- not to mention variety. But unless a man is a sultan with a harem, a medieval pope, a leading rock star or actor, or a scion of the Kennedy clan, that just isn't bloody likely. :tongue: The fact is, the women would never permit it. And you just can't conceal something like that, even if you were dishonest enough to attempt it (which I'm not).
I have to agree though, that it would be good if more people, of both sexes, could learn to separate love from sex instead of conflating them. It is true that one may lead to the other, though of course not necessarily. I can feel love for many people (including women) that I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with. And then there are some women whose physicality just sort of smacks me between the eyes. The important thing is to understand the difference. It does seem to me that expecting the two always to occur with the same person, is neither realistic nor useful.
Cheers,
DC
:wink:
